# Pick a fictional character to get you through the post-apocalyptic world. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 19, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316 "2010-09-19T20:00:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/101 "2010-09-23T02:32:21Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I am embarrassed that I didn’t think of Tarzan myself, though he might count as super-powered. I think he’d take Buffy in a fight. We’ll see about that… > **[Buffy vs. Tarzan](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=579273)** > > Who would win in a fist fight, Buffy or Tarzan? feel free to elaborate 🙂 Inspired by http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12932425#post12932425 ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/102 "2010-09-23T03:06:17Z")
Hannibal Lecter. I’d always be able to find work: surgery, drawing, cooking, piano and lute gigs. And I’d never go hungry, for long. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/103 "2010-09-23T03:16:44Z")
I like a lot of the answers already given, but I’ll take Buckaroo Banzai. Brilliant, resourceful, won’t turn evil on me, is a doctor, scientist, musician and daredevil. And, he will certainly gather all the best of the remaining people around himself in short order. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/104 "2010-09-23T03:25:46Z")
The Doctor, if Gallifreyan biology doesn’t count as a superpower (and I don’t think it does…it’s a minor advantage, but aside from being rather harder to kill, he’s not really beyond human base level, so it does ME a fat lot of good). Taking away the TARDIS, Psychic Paper, and Sonic Screwdriver would complicate things, but he’s still a thousand year old genius, who’s survived journeys into more than one apocalypse. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/105 "2010-09-23T03:32:13Z")
Bruce Wayne/Batman. Even without his utility belt and WayneTech, he is super smart and resourceful, can fight, and will defend my life even if I’m not all that into it. And he is a tea totaller with a great wine cellar, which still exists under the rules. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/106 "2010-09-23T04:34:18Z")
Robinson Crusoe would probably be helpful, but I think I’d go with Kelly Bundy. ETA: screw it, how about Aeon? [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/12/Æon\_Flux\_promotional\_film\_poster.jpg](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/12/%C3%86on_Flux_promotional_film_poster.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/107 "2010-09-23T04:58:31Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I’ve changed my mind. Woodrow Wilson Smith would have found a way to get his ass off-planet before the apocalypse, so I think I’ll go with Remo Williams. Don’t think he’s eligible due to that sorta-kinda-Avatar of Shiva thing he’s got going on. My contenders: 1. Milo Morai–possibly dq’d for being almost immortal and telepathy, definitely dq’d under the not from post apocapypse world, but hey… **Skald** knows sometimes I bend the rules. 2. Rooster Cogburn–might need to serve some writs on some rats. 3. Jack Bauer–some of the rats might have techno babble. 4. Willow–yeah, she’s all out of magic, but she’s still a hot redhead. And if the survival of the human race was at stake, she might do me. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/108 "2010-09-23T05:30:37Z")
How does the Phantom do cammo? He runs around in the jungle in purple! I’d pick either Tarzan to defend me (we can get weapons out of a museum, since I dunno how good he is with guns). I almost said Sherlock Holmes, but he wouldn’t be as useful as you’d think, really. To keep humanity chugging along, gimme either Rachel McAdams, Emmanuelle Chriqu, or Jordana Brewster. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/109 "2010-09-23T06:50:36Z")
[Li Kao](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_Li), slight flaw in his character and all. Ideally, I’d like a 60-year-old Master Li, rather than the somewhat older one who appears in _Bridge of Birds_, though the older one was plenty sturdy in the face of things. ---
**Author:** ![Reepicheep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@Reepicheep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reepicheep)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/110 "2010-09-23T07:25:47Z")
James T. Kirk. Even without 24th C tech, he is smart, a good fighter, good provider, and he would restart civilization. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/111 "2010-09-23T07:54:00Z")
> [@Reepicheep](#): > > James T. Kirk. Even without 24th C tech, he is smart, a good fighter, good provider, and he would restart civilization. But the way he talks would drive me nuts in a few hours. ---
**Author:** ![Omi\_no\_Kami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Omi\_no\_Kami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omi_no_Kami)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/112 "2010-09-23T08:12:30Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Willow–yeah, she’s all out of magic, but she’s still a hot redhead. And if the survival of the human race was at stake, she might do me. I don’t know, if it came to that I might rather go with the flute girl from American Pie- she was very similar in personality, and in the later seasons (and comics) it was kind of implied that Willow wasn’t all that great of a person. I still like the idea of River Tam, especially as she was very rarely psychotic toward her crewmates. On the other hand, any of the original 4 from Left 4 Dead might be pretty handy: highly proficient with a suspiciously wide variety of weapons and combat techniques, and they have all already proven that they have both the psychological fortitude to withstand the pressures of an apocalyptic struggle and the dedication to make good team members and help their friends through. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/113 "2010-09-23T08:42:42Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > The Doctor, if Gallifreyan biology doesn’t count as a superpower (and I don’t think it does…it’s a minor advantage, but aside from being rather harder to kill, he’s not really beyond human base level, so it does ME a fat lot of good). > > Taking away the TARDIS, Psychic Paper, and Sonic Screwdriver would complicate things, but he’s still a thousand year old genius, who’s survived journeys into more than one apocalypse. If you want, we can assume he transformed himself into a human again with that machine he has in the TARDIS (only this time, he’ll keep his memories). Anyway, while the TARDIS and psychic paper might be a problem, I’m sure that 3 hours in a bombed-out Radio Shack would be enough for him to built a new sonic screwdriver. Once he has that, he can do almost anything. Rebuilding society would be a piece of cake. Plus, we know he’s very good with a sword. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/114 "2010-09-23T10:27:33Z")
> [@Paranoid\_Randroid](#): > > 1. Someone with whom to – um – _begin anew_, if you catch my drift. I’m not much into kids, but if the responsibility falls to me, then I suppose a circa-1990 Helen Hunt would be acceptable. Bad choice. We’re talking fictional, which means you’re describing her “Mad About You” character, who had fertility issues. What about John Rambo? I was sure he’d be one of the first names out there. . . ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/115 "2010-09-23T12:22:55Z")
[Honor Harrington](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honor_Harrington), assuming she can bring Nimitz, her [tree-cat](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treecat#Treecats). (If she lost him, she’d be utterly crippled with grief, possibly suicidal.) I’m past menopause, so her sex is irrelevant for reproduction purposes, and having sex is not a high priority - surviving is. Harrington in annoyingly perfect, but she’s brilliant intellectually, a noted tactician and strategist, and expert at both armed and unarmed combat. She is principled, but absolutely capable of killing when necessary. She is abnormally strong, having been born and raised on a high-gravity planet (this is not a super-power, just a genetic enhancement that would have occurred naturally over a few thousand years anyway via natural selection). She has excellent people skills, and an outstanding education. On the downside, she needs a high calory intake because of her strength; that muscle requires fuel to support it. But I have great faith in her ability to find sufficient food. Me, I’d be excess baggage. I bring nothing to the equation. But Harrington is highly principled, and wouldn’t let me die through negligence. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/116 "2010-09-23T15:52:26Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > How does the Phantom do cammo? He runs around in the jungle in purple! > > I’d pick either Tarzan to defend me (we can get weapons out of a museum, since I dunno how good he is with guns). Book-Tarzan was a RAF officer; I’m sure he can use both handgun and rifle. He just doesn’t like them. But as Chronos observed, he’d basically a demigod. Best make friends with Jane and Meriam; that’ll get you on Tarzan and Korak’s good side. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2010, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/117 "2010-09-23T21:11:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Honor Harrington, assuming she can bring Nimitz, her tree-cat. (If she lost him, she’d be utterly crippled with grief, possibly suicidal.) > > I’m past menopause, so her sex is irrelevant for reproduction purposes, and having sex is not a high priority - surviving is. Harrington in annoyingly perfect, but she’s brilliant intellectually, a noted tactician and strategist, and expert at both armed and unarmed combat. She is principled, but absolutely capable of killing when necessary. She is abnormally strong, having been born and raised on a high-gravity planet (this is not a super-power, just a genetic enhancement that would have occurred naturally over a few thousand years anyway via natural selection). She has excellent people skills, and an outstanding education. On the downside, she needs a high calory intake because of her strength; that muscle requires fuel to support it. But I have great faith in her ability to find sufficient food. Even if we discount her genetically-enhanced heavyworlder strength, telempathy is certainly a superpower, and she’s also pretty significantly cybernetically enhanced, counter to the “no high tech” rule. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/118 "2010-09-24T02:56:08Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > If you want, we can assume he transformed himself into a human again with that machine he has in the TARDIS (only this time, he’ll keep his memories). The Chameleon Arch is a good idea to completely close the non-superpowered thing, if, indeed, he can retain his memories using it (neither of the times its been used in canon has allowed that effect, though it’s been used in a comic to justify the ‘half human’ thing from the movie, so, if that is true, it’s workable). But I think assuming he can build a new Screwdriver is bending the rules a bit too much for my comfort. Still, even without his toys, I have confidence that the Doctor could keep us alive, and as comfortable as the world allows for. If not, entirely, safe. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/119 "2010-09-24T12:31:40Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Honor Harrington, assuming she can bring Nimitz, her tree-cat. (If she lost him, she’d be utterly crippled with grief, possibly suicidal.) > > > > I’m past menopause, so her sex is irrelevant for reproduction purposes, and having sex is not a high priority - surviving is. Harrington in annoyingly perfect, but she’s brilliant intellectually, a noted tactician and strategist, and expert at both armed and unarmed combat. She is principled, but absolutely capable of killing when necessary. She is abnormally strong, having been born and raised on a high-gravity planet (this is not a super-power, just a genetic enhancement that would have occurred naturally over a few thousand years anyway via natural selection). She has excellent people skills, and an outstanding education. On the downside, she needs a high calory intake because of her strength; that muscle requires fuel to support it. But I have great faith in her ability to find sufficient food. > > Even if we discount her genetically-enhanced heavyworlder strength, telempathy is certainly a superpower, and she’s also pretty significantly cybernetically enhanced, counter to the “no high tech” rule. I’ll settle for Commander Harrington, who has not yet developed any kind of telempathic power and still has all her original parts. She still has a few anger issues, but I’ll deal. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/120 "2010-09-24T16:36:31Z")
You’re still getting Nimitz as a buy-one-get-one-free, though, which is kind of against the spirit of the rules anyway, and he’s definitely telempathic. I thought of another one, though: Princess Mononoke. Like Tarzan, she has a strong rapport with animals, but the animals she can talk with are actually found abundantly in my part of the world. And of course she’s a badass warrior, too, and unlike Tarzan, it’d be possible for her and me to repopulate the world (though on the downside, she might prefer that humans go extinct). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316.md?page=7)