# Pick a fictional character to get you through the post-apocalyptic world. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 19, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316 "2010-09-19T20:00:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/141 "2010-09-27T18:59:16Z")
> [@audit1](#): > > Also, Kim Possible , she can do anything! I hope so, 'cause I’ve got a list! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/142 "2010-09-27T19:00:45Z")
> [@Claverhouse](#): > > > [@Chronos](#): > > > > You’re going to have to be a little more specific here, because I don’t see how writing a mostly-plagiarized epic account of the starting of your new civilization is going to help. > > Dante’s Divine Comedy… Anyone getting one through Hell like a Cook’s Tourist is OK by me. I’ll hang with Vergil until he starts to recite his incredibly dull poetry. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/143 "2010-09-27T19:58:39Z")
Mind you, I’m just saying that I don’t think Stark should be allowed in the first place. I’m not saying that he would be a good choice if he were allowed. Hawkeye is an archer type, right? That might be a good idea: It’s probably easier to recover or make arrows than it is bullets, in the post-apocalyptic world. ---
**Author:** ![Scacarius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/48db29/32.png) [@Scacarius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scacarius)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/144 "2010-09-28T16:39:10Z")
> [@](#): > > Hannibal Lecter. > > I’d always be able to find work: surgery, drawing, cooking, piano and lute gigs. > > And I’d never go hungry, for long. I’d be more worried about HIM going hungry. Anyway, how about John Clark from Tom Clancy’s novels? Ex-seal, high or low tech survival skills, seems like good company if you stay on his good side. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/145 "2010-09-28T17:37:26Z")
I’d choose Zakalwe from Iain Banks’ “Use of Weapons” for survival. Whatever side he is on WILL be the winning side, and if there are no sides, he’ll make up his own. Does NOT matter who the opponent is, he will beat them, because that is who he is and what he does. For breeding, I’d go with Clara from The Guild. There’s a cute, friendly, sexy blonde with a uterus like a machine gun under all that weight, and post-apocalyptic civilizations are GREAT for dieting, being as how food is hard to find. Of course, somebody ELSE is gonna have to watch the kids. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/146 "2010-09-28T17:55:23Z")
How’s about Max Klinger? He’s a barbeque expert, would have a thriving barter economy going in a trice, and the mutants would never be quite sure whether he was one of them. And given a couple of tries, he can even pour a cement floor for the hut. . . plus I’m sure he’s picked up a modicum of medical knowledge over the years. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/147 "2010-09-28T20:47:35Z")
I dunno about Hawkeye. Once his hearing aid’s batteries run out, it’s gonna be a bitch replacing them post-apoc, and that’s gonna limit him severely. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/148 "2010-09-28T20:56:51Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > I dunno about Hawkeye. Once his hearing aid’s batteries run out, it’s gonna be a bitch replacing them post-apoc, and that’s gonna limit him severely. I’m pretty sure he came back from the dead with full hearing. Not that I’ve seen anything to indicate it; it would just be typical. 'Sides, like I said, it’s less that he’s the ideal choice, just that he’s better company than Tony Stark. ---
**Author:** ![Loisseau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@Loisseau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loisseau)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/149 "2010-09-28T21:17:23Z")
Jeremiah Johnson ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/150 "2010-09-28T22:27:27Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > I dunno about Hawkeye. Once his hearing aid’s batteries run out, it’s gonna be a bitch replacing them post-apoc, and that’s gonna limit him severely. Then pick Trapper John. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2010, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/151 "2010-09-28T23:09:17Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > …4) No characters who themselves come from a post-apocalyptic world, like Mad Max. > > Whom do you choose, and why? Didn’t you see the first movie? Max pre-dated the apocalypse. I would pick him him if I wasn’t worried that he would break into a rant against Jews in the middle of a firefight. So I’ll pick Milla Jovovich as Alice. Smokin’ Hot Death on Wheels. Or Sienna Guillory, her pal in the sequel. If I can get both – to preserve body heat – even better. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/152 "2010-09-29T00:03:18Z")
[Conrad](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...And_Call_Me_Conrad). OK, he may be a god but then again, he might not be. He’s probably just a really long-lived mutant. But not super-powered by any means – just a survivor. And, unlike some other survivor types like Snake Plishken or Hell Tanner, he won’t sell you to the first mutant slave-trader for a bottle of water and a handful of cigars. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2010, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/153 "2010-09-29T19:41:34Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > > [@TBG](#): > > > > I dunno about Hawkeye. Once his hearing aid’s batteries run out, it’s gonna be a bitch replacing them post-apoc, and that’s gonna limit him severely. > > Then pick Trapper John. 😃 Well, if I was going to pick anyone from MASH, it’d probably be Hotlips. ---
**Author:** ![Truman\_Burbank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@Truman\_Burbank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truman_Burbank)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/154 "2010-10-05T17:29:51Z")
Joe Pike. If feminine companionship were considered, 7 of 9. Not sure Buckaroo is ruthless enough. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316/155 "2010-10-05T18:36:19Z")
Half-Cock Jack Shaftoe. Sure, he’s an illiterate 17th century vagabond and street ruffian with half a penis, but he’s surprisingly resourceful in emergencies, is a highly imaginative strategist, and never, ever hesitates. Plus, most of the people who tag along with him tend to survive, which is more than you can say about most of the people mentioned in this thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-fictional-character-to-get-you-through-the-post-apocalyptic-world/554316.md?page=7)