# Pick a sitcom **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 30, 2006, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506 "2006-03-30T04:28:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Winnie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e480ec/32.png) [@Winnie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnie)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/41 "2006-03-31T02:24:15Z")
[QUOTE=Biggirl] Just Shoot Me is not one of my favorite sit-coms but the one where David Cross plays Elliot’s brother who has pretended to be brain damaged for years just so he could. . . loaf around forever. “Chicken pot, chicke pot, chicken pot pieee!” “Vacuum!” You had to have seen it. [/QUOTE] OMG I’d forgotten about that! It was his brother “Donnie”. The best part of the episode is when he goes from talking like he was brain-damaged to talking normally in the middle of a conversation with Maya. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/42 "2006-03-31T02:30:02Z")
your sig quote is SO freakin familiar - what’s it from? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/43 "2006-03-31T02:30:55Z")
[QUOTE=anyrose] your sig quote is SO freakin familiar - what’s it from? [/QUOTE] I know! I know! I’ll let **Winnie** tell you. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/44 "2006-03-31T03:05:46Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] I love the Barney Miller Episode when Wojo brings in Brownies his Girlfriend baked. Every has some except for Barney. Turns out they are Hash Brownies. Yemana is getting very silly at his desk and saying “Mushy, Mushy, Mushy” Fish chased down a young purse snatcher and leaped buildings. When he found out it was Hash he complained “Figures, I finally find somethings that makes me feel good for the first time in 20 years and it is illegal”. I wish I could relate more of this classic, it was a great great show, the highpoint of a show that never jumped the shark. [/QUOTE] Gah! You stole mine! Yemana stoned was one of the funniest things ever shown on television. For M_A_S\*H–I love the “Dear Sigmund” episode, where Dr. Freedman writes a letter to Sigmund Freud describing all the characters in camp. Meanwhile, someone has been playing practical jokes. You go from these deep insightful observations from Dr. Freedman throughout the episode to the very last scene, where you discover that BJ is the practical joker. It’s very early in the morning, and BJ is standing there nonchalantly filling a trench with water. He invites Sidney to participate. He agrees, and BJ has him go over to the Swamp and yell “Air Raid!” The door to the Swamp bangs open and Frank runs out yelling “Air Raid! Air Raid!” and then trips and falls into the water. Something about the way Frank yells “Air Raid!” just slays me. “Air Raid! Air Raid!” And then he falls in the water. Comic gold, I tell ya! Comic gold. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/45 "2006-03-31T06:31:36Z")
[QUOTE=Green Bean] Gah! You stole mine! Yemana stoned was one of the funniest things ever shown on television. [/QUOTE] “Barney, Barney, Barney… is your mother from Killearney?” I loved Fish’s take on being stoned in the same episode (after catching a suspect 1/3 his age during a rooftop chase that amazed the guy)= “First time I’ve felt really good in 20 years… and it was illegal!” My favorite _Frasier_ episode to involve the bathroom (re: the above) was when Frasier was dating a Jewish lady at Christmas time who doesn’t want her very devout mother to know Frasier’s Gentile (she met him when he was buying a menorah for his son and assumed he was Jewish- she only wants her daughter to date Jewish men). He quickly moves everything having to do with Christmas into the bathroom (Christmas tree, cards, Nativity scenes, etc.) and due to a convoluted plot thread Niles, dressed as Jesus Christ, is in the same bathroom. Which of course Mom has to use while visiting. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/46 "2006-03-31T08:35:21Z")
[QUOTE=Marlitharn] Roseanne, in the last season, when Dan’s mother, played by Debbie Reynolds, shows up and spends the episode trying to kill him. She’s hilarious. You can see Roseanne struggling to keep a straight face during the scene in the back yard. Roseanne: Audrey, give me the shovel. Audrey: NOOOO! I need this to whack him on the head and stun him! [/QUOTE] I also loved it when Debbie-as-Audrey was explaining, in very reasonable and even affectionate tones, to Roseanne “I originally planned to poison him or maybe shoot him, but then I thought of the idea of using the shovel to stun him and then to bury him alive and I just fell in love with it!” (Not a direct quote, couldn’t find the script.) TRIVIA ABOUT THAT EPISODE: During the fight for the shovel Roseanne accidentally broke one of Debbie Reynold’s ribs and Debbie, being the trooper that she is, didn’t even let on that she was hurt until after the cameras stopped rolling. You can actually see the moment when she gets hit in the episode. (Roseanne was profusely apologetic.) ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/47 "2006-03-31T09:28:16Z")
Night Court. The episode where the Japanese businessman is brought in on solicitation charges and dies in the courtoom. Golden, from start to finish. ---
**Author:** ![Loopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loopus/32/15343_2.png) [@Loopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopus)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/48 "2006-03-31T09:32:36Z")
I’m not normally a big fan of _Sanford and Son_, but there was this one episode called, I think, “The Great Sanford Siege,” in which Fred has neglected paying the bills for so long that all their creditors are coming to collect or repossess at once. I don’t remember too much about it now, but as I was watching it I was thinking that this was one of the funniest sitcom episodes I’d ever seen. It contained two great running gags, and I love a good running gag. The first involved Fred’s solution to getting bills he can’t pay: putting them back in the mailbox. After chastising him for that, Lamont asks how Fred is planning on doing anything or going anywhere with all their creditors outside and them with no money to pay. Fred comes up with some elaborate scheme to get out of the house (involving a tunnel or something) and ends his plan with “and put these bills back in the mailbox!” The other running gag involved the only food left in the house: a can of “poke and beans” and something else, which Fred keeps offering (in various combinations) to an increasingly frustrated Lamont. I wish I could remember more about that episode. I thought it was hilarious, but I’ve only seen it once. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/49 "2006-03-31T11:10:54Z")
**All in the Family** where Edith goes through menopause. Watching the rest of the family react as she went from giddiness to bitchiness and back was great. Then when Archie tried to tell her off, she told him to stifle. Carrol O’Connor’s reaction was priceless. Best line of all was when he finally had enough he said, “All right, Edith, you’ve got thirty seconds. CHANGE!” ---
**Author:** ![HeadNinja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b4bc9f/32.png) [@HeadNinja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeadNinja)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/50 "2006-03-31T15:41:50Z")
Just Shoo me had its moments. My favorite was an episode in which David Spade was led to believe that if he could complete X stupid tasks he would be able to sleep with Maya and her friend. All through the episode he has to debase himself and get things done which are normally impossible (like getting a passport in a day). He constantly meets opposition from male authority figures, who gleefully help him after he says the magic words: “Two Chicks.” At the end of the episode he meets Maya and her friend at a restaurant. They welch. He walks outside with his head down. Waiting for him is a giant crowd of the men who helped him. They part, and he walks between them. And then: Slow Clap. A close second is “The oldest story in the world, great product, terrible marketing.” ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/51 "2006-03-31T16:00:56Z")
[QUOTE=ianzin] [nitpick] **Lochdale** your quote is inaccurate and also alters history! The German guest is angrily imploring Basil to stop telling jokes that mention the war. Basil Fawlty: Is something wrong? German: Will you please stop talking about the war? Basil Fawlty: Me? You started it. German: We did not. Basil Fawlty: Yes you did, you invaded Poland. [/nitpick] * * * [/QUOTE] Oh i know my history but for some reason I’ve always thought he send Chechslovakia which I also thought as odd, even back then. ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/52 "2006-03-31T16:01:13Z")
[QUOTE=ianzin] [nitpick] **Lochdale** your quote is inaccurate and also alters history! The German guest is angrily imploring Basil to stop telling jokes that mention the war. Basil Fawlty: Is something wrong? German: Will you please stop talking about the war? Basil Fawlty: Me? You started it. German: We did not. Basil Fawlty: Yes you did, you invaded Poland. [/nitpick] * * * [/QUOTE] Oh i know my history but for some reason I’ve always thought he said Chechslovakia which I thought was odd, even back then. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/53 "2006-03-31T17:27:28Z")
Nothing cracked me up more than the episode of “Red Dwarf” in which Lister taught Kryten how to lie: > [@](#): > > KRYTEN and LISTER are seated at the table. There is a collection of fruit on the table between them; on the viewscreen, electronic fish are swimming. > > LISTER: > (Holding up a banana) Okay, let’s try again. What is it? > > KRYTEN: > It’s a banana. > > LISTER: > No, it isn’t. Try again. What is it? > > KRYTEN: > It’s a banana? > > LISTER: > (Exasperated) No, it isn’t! What is it? > > KRYTEN: > It’s an urrrr… It’s an urrrr… > > LISTER: > It’s an orange! Go on, say it. It’s an orange! This! Is! An orange! > > KRYTEN: > It’s an orrrr… It’s an orrrr… It’s a banana! It’s no good, sir, I just can’t do it! > > LISTER: > You CAN do it, I’m gonna teach you how! (Holding up an apple) Okay, what’s this? > > KRYTEN: > It’s an ap- > > LISTER: > No, no, no, what is it? > > KRYTEN: > Oh, it’s no good sir, I just can’t lie! I’m programmed always to tell the truth. > > LISTER: > Kryten, it’s easy! (Holding up the apple) Look: an orange. (Holding up the orange) A melon. (Holding up the banana) A female aardvark! > > KRYTEN: > Oh! Oh, that is just so superb, sir! How DO you do that? Especially calling a banana an aardvark? An aardvark isn’t even a fruit! It’s total genius! > > LISTER: > (Beat) Let’s start again. > > KRYTEN: > Oh, sir, my head is spinning. We’ve been doing this all morning! > > LISTER: > Kryten, I’m gonna teach you how to lie and cheat if it’s the last thing I do. I want you to be unpleasant, cruel, and sarcastic; it’s the only way to break your programming, man - make you independent! > > KRYTEN: > Well, I’m truly grateful, sir. Don’t you think I’d love to be deceitful, unpleasant, and offensive? Those are the human qualities I admire the most! But I just can’t do it. > > LISTER: > You CAN! > > KRYTEN: > I CAN’T! > > LISTER: > (Picks up the banana again.) Look! What’s this?! > > KRYTEN: > No! > > LISTER: > What is it? > > KRYTEN: > Please! > > LISTER: > Come on, what is it? > > KRYTEN: > It’s a b… It’s a b… It’s a small, off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden! (He looks stunned.) > > LISTER: > Yes, you did it, you did it! (Holding up the orange) What’s this? > > KRYTEN: > It’s a red-and-blue striped golfing umbrella! > > LISTER: > Kryten! Yes! (Holding up the apple) What’s this? > > KRYTEN: > It’s an apple. > > LISTER: > No! What is it? > > KRYTEN: > It’s a - it’s a - it’s, it’s, it’s the Bolivian Navy on manoeuvres in the South Pacific! > > LISTER: > Well, Kryten, man - you can do it! > > KRYTEN: > (Proud of himself) No, I can’t. > > LISTER: > Yes, you - whoa, whoa, nice one! > > KRYTEN: > Well, I can’t hang around here; I better go away and take the penguin for a walk. I can do it! I did it again, I can lie! > > LISTER: > Cat, Cat! C’mere, c’mere - check this, check this, check this! > > CAT enters. > > CAT: > Check what? > > LISTER: > Concentrate, Kryten. What’s this? (He holds up the banana.) > > KRYTEN: > It’s a banana. > > LISTER: > (Disappointed) What’s this? (He holds up the orange.) > > KRYTEN: > It’s an orange. > > LISTER: > (Holding up the apple) What’s THIS? > > KRYTEN: > (Almost crying) Apple? > > CAT: > You taught him that? That’s terrific! You two should audition for ‘What’s My Fruit’?! > > **Later:** > LISTER: > Now, Kryten, remember yesterday’s class? Our instructions on insults? > > KRYTEN: > Oh, I’m not sure I - > > LISTER: > Now, how do we describe the gentleman who’s just been on the screen? > > KRYTEN: > He’s Mister - > > LISTER: > No no no, come on, he’s a - > > KRYTEN: > He’s a smeee… > > LISTER: > Yeah, come on! > > KRYTEN: > He’s a smeee… > > LISTER: > He’s a - > > KRYTEN: > He’s a smeee… > > LISTER: > He’s a - > > LISTER holds up a ‘flash card’ which reads ‘SMEG’. > > KRYTEN: > He’s a smeeeg… > > LISTER holds up another card, next to the first one, which reads ‘HEAD’. > > KRYTEN: > … Heeaaaad! I did it! > > LISTER: > Brutal! Now the ultimate test: can you say it to him in person? The episode of “Just Shoot Me!” in which Jack came back from a business trip to Asia, where he accidently tipped a guy a few years’ salary, and came back with a hallucinogenic candy for everyone is pretty good, too. > [@](#): > > Chair…over there! ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/54 "2006-03-31T19:53:04Z")
[QUOTE=zuma] Seinfeld: “The Opposite” George is my favorite character, and this was probably his best episode. “My name is George, I’m unemployed and live with my parents” He wins a girlfriend because he’s “not like most other guys”, who gets him a job with the yankees after he goes off on Steinbrenner during his job interview. “Hire this man!” The sub-plot was the funny “everything evens out for me” observations from Jerry. [/QUOTE] That WAS a really funny episode. He loses twenty dollars, then finds a twenty in his jacket or jeans that he hadn’t worn in a while. “See? Even Steven!” as he makes the balancing scales motion with his arms. uh… at least that’s how I remember it. Very funny! ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/55 "2006-03-31T20:03:47Z")
[QUOTE=Push You Down] Dan Connor is probably the greatest male sitcom character ever. [/QUOTE] Oh come on now! What about Fred Murtz? I think he’s the ONLY reason to watch I Love Lucy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/56 "2006-03-31T20:08:20Z")
[QUOTE=Winnie] OMG I’d forgotten about that! It was his brother “Donnie”. The best part of the episode is when he goes from talking like he was brain-damaged to talking normally in the middle of a conversation with Maya. [/QUOTE] Oh yeah that was a good one! He’s able to stay in character for years, but gets discovered because Jack is so dumb about how the vacuum tubes work that it pisses off Donnie. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/57 "2006-03-31T20:15:31Z")
I want to second _Arrested Development_’s “Bringing Up Buster,” if only for the string of profanity that issues from Buster’s mouth as his siblings look on, just completely dumbfounded. Buster: _bleeeeeeeeeeeeeep bleeeeeeeeeeeeep bleeeeeeeeeep_ … you old horny _slut!_ Michael: Well … I don’t think anybody’s gonna top that. It may be the _Silver Spoons_-era crush I’ve always had on Jason Bateman, but there is something about his deadpan delivery that makes me laugh without him even _saying_ anything. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/58 "2006-03-31T20:49:38Z")
Since **Winnie** hasn’t been back to explain the sig. . . It’s Ren and Stimpy’s The Happy, Happy. Joy Joy Song. Speaking of which, that has to be my favorite cartoon episode ever. I just about fall on the floor when Ren starts whacking his head with a hammer in beat with the song to get that happy hat off. ---
**Author:** ![metonymic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@metonymic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/metonymic)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/59 "2006-03-31T22:11:50Z")
[QUOTE=initech] Arrested Development, season 1, “Bringing Up Buster.” […] Of course, it also contains the Cornballer. [/QUOTE] I love that episode too! Michael’s “every damn time!” makes me laugh a lot. My favourite episode of \*\*Newsradio \*\*is the one where everyone’s delirous from the heat, and each person drifts in and out of dreams featuring the rest of the office workers. My favourites were Beth’s horror-movie inspired nightmares about Matthew and Lisa’s iterative responses to Dave’s judo proverb about the big man and the wise small man (in her dream, she comes up with a response that renders him speachless; headlines read “Lisa Miller zings boss” and “Dave Nelson cries; like woman or baby”). Hilarious. Also the snack cart man’s daydream (everyone loves and cares about him) vs. the reality (they don’t even know his name) is so heartbreaking… It’s such a creative episode. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2006, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506/60 "2006-04-01T02:57:55Z")
My favorite episode of _Murphy Brown_ was [The Best & Not So Brightest](http://imdb.com/title/tt0653889/) in which Wallace Shawn returns as recurring character Stuart Best (his name from the missing Beatles as he’s the "missing FYIer), just elected as a Congressman. His campaign was financed from bake sales and nickel and dime jars at conveniences stores and a $600,000 check from “The Aryan Brotherhood”, a “militant offshoot” of the Aryan Nations who insist he spout their views on his FYI interview. Shawn’s deadpan “in-conceivable” delivery as Best, drunk, goes through with his orders deserved an Emmy nomination (though he didn’t get one). Stuart Best (on how to solve unemployment): Slavery’s an ugly word, but so is welfare… [spiel ends with] unless they are less than 7/8 white, in which case return them to the country of their ancestors. (on how to solve the problem of divorce, unwed mothers, etc.)"As long as a good man can only have one wife, we’re gonna have this problem… [spiel ends with] unless they are less than 7/8 white, in which case return them tot he country of their ancestors. Stuart (on how to solve emigration): “I can’t… I… can’t say it… I can’t…” Murphy takes his notes (given to him by the Aryans). Murphy: YOU WANT TO REINTER THE JAPANESE! Stuart/Shawn, looking up with pitiful false drunk sincerity: “Yeeees!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-a-sitcom/350506.md?page=4)