# Pick one handheld sf/fantasy item as your very own. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 20, 2008, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466 "2008-09-20T19:13:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/61 "2008-09-22T08:38:21Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > There was this one early 20th century weapon that shot radiation that would instantly kill you. I think it was used by Duran Duran. On a singular occasion, in the year I was born, for a third of an hour. But wouldn’t you want a weapon that would instantly kill _someone else_? I like the various _Rings of Elemental Command_ from D&D, with Air coming out slightly on top. It’s quite inoffensive but being able to fly or turn invisible at will would be way cool. (Fire would be more fun for blowing things up, of course.) And looked at another way, I already have an incredibly powerful magic item, viz., an 18ct white gold wedding ring. Unfortunately I don’t live anywhere where it will do anything, although on the credit side, I also don’t have a nearly-omnipotent Dark Lord making my life a misery to get me to hand it over. ---
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/62 "2008-09-22T15:27:11Z")
The Octavo, just for coolness’ sake? Although I don’t think you can hold it in one hand. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/63 "2008-09-22T15:33:47Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Pish tosh, man. You’re talking _results_ while I am talking _fuzzy awesomeness._ Very well then. I’ll be taking the alethiometer. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/64 "2008-09-22T16:27:38Z")
I wouldn’t mind having Sam Vimes’ demon-powered PDA, if only for its comedy value.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2008, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/65 "2008-09-22T16:56:15Z")
I’d take a medical tricorder… I sure hope it takes rechargable batteries, because I’d be constantly scanning everything from a pimple to that weird, faint pain in my foot. ---
**Author:** ![lynxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e99b99/32.png) [@lynxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lynxie)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/66 "2008-09-23T01:08:36Z")
Universal Translator, Works on everything but Klingon, and most Klingons speak English, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/67 "2008-09-23T02:25:54Z")
Surely there’s a universal shapeshifter device somewhere in fiction, right? That’s what I want. Failing that, I’ll go for Jane, from Speaker for the Dead: I want my very own brilliant AI to keep track of where I put my goddam keys. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/68 "2008-09-23T02:41:59Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Surely there’s a universal shapeshifter device somewhere in fiction, right? That’s what I want. The closest items I can think of can only be used a finite number of times, or are limited to a single form. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/69 "2008-09-23T04:02:44Z")
A Mother Box!😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/70 "2008-09-23T04:16:14Z")
I know I said a phaser or a blaster before, but now I want to change my answer. I’ll go with a Lightsaber and a really good operating manual, because I’ll need to be able to recharge it sooner or later. There was a really inconveniently and illegally parked van today, and it would have been a real hoot to shove that lightsaber point first through the grill and into the engine, then walk away and leave the van that way. I could also use it in mining operations, salvage and in tree clearing. But of course, there are two things we all forget in our lust for kewl items. 1\> The government would immediately confiscate it in the name of national security. 2\> The real value of a blaster, light saber or other piece of similar high tech lies not in ownership or use, but in reverse engineering the power generation or storage technology involved. If you could reverse engineer and patent a storage medium that would allow that much energy to be stored in that small a form, you’d be richer than Bill Gates and it would quite literally change the world. ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/71 "2008-09-23T04:20:52Z")
Leaves of Grass, so I can find that Last Exit to Babylon. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/72 "2008-09-23T08:40:08Z")
Um, my first thought was taken. How about Emmeline Pankhurst’s laser spanner? No, wait. [The Skeleton Key](http://www.amazon.com/Skeleton-Key-One-Beyond-Threshold/dp/0943151120) ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/73 "2008-09-23T15:19:50Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > The closest items I can think of can only be used a finite number of times, or are limited to a single form. Take, for instance, Ben Ten’s OmniMatrix (Omnitrix?). You don’t have an infinite number of forms, but you do have a nice variety, almost all of which are useful. Plus, if you’re patient enough to explore, there’s other abilities you’ll doubtless find . ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/74 "2008-09-23T16:00:11Z")
Working controllable intelligent nanobots. None of the stupid ones that dissolve the world or turn you into stone so the UV rays don’t bother you. Something you can use to maintain yourself and maybe construct stuff like an iphone over time from scrap you have around. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/75 "2008-09-23T16:11:28Z")
I’d like to have Harry Potter’s wand (or any wand from the Harry Potter series), as long as I had the magical power to make it work. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/76 "2008-09-23T17:01:26Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > From the His Dark Materials series? Doesn’t seem the best option, as they’re basically part of you anyway, and if you go into that world, your daemon’s likely to come out on its own anyway. Why wouldn’t you want the alethiometer or the Æsahættr? Assuming we have ‘dust’ in this world, I was working on the thought of the Alethiometer as well… But I wasn’t sure if it would come with the skill of being able to interpret the results. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/77 "2008-09-23T17:45:02Z")
> [@ArrMatey](#): > > Assuming we have ‘dust’ in this world, I was working on the thought of the Alethiometer as well… But I wasn’t sure if it would come with the skill of being able to interpret the results. I’m reading HDM right now, and you’re right. Without the soi-disant “books of readings” the Church scholar had, the alethiometer is unusable without the grace granted by the angels who were [del]using[/del] [del]manipulating[/del] “helping” Lyra; at the end of the series, Lyra discovers she can no longer use it with a fraction of the ease she had before, and is in store for a lifetie of study if she wants to ever use it again. So let me think… No way I’m worthy to use the hammer of Thor. Gungnir scares me. I think I’ll stick with the subtle knife. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/78 "2008-09-23T17:55:21Z")
I want Princess Leia’s gold bikini from _Return of the Jedi_ … … just because. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/79 "2008-09-23T18:41:45Z")
The construct Ghostwheel from Zelazny’s Amber series. One of the Pattern swords would be cool, but it would pretty much hang on my wall and attract all manner of bad things trying to steal it. Ghostwheel can defend himself or flee, and he would come with me because Merlin is a tool. The AI has a built in Trump deck so I can go throughout the multi-verse. Although Aladdin’s Magic Lamp would be a good second choice. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2008, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-one-handheld-sf-fantasy-item-as-your-very-own/464466/80 "2008-09-23T18:47:03Z")
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