# Pick out a new last name for me!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [April 17, 2002, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226 "2002-04-17T23:26:29Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![kuroashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9a140/32.png) [@kuroashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kuroashi)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/21 "2002-04-18T05:50:57Z")

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Some interesting ones I’ve known:

I’m related to some Lawless folks  
My speech and debate coach freshman year in high school was Mrs. Slaughter (she was so cooool)  
Can’t forget Mayor Lovegrove  
Adam StandingBear was a kid who disappeared when I was seven  
You could go the DC comics route with some alliteration, like Lois Lane, Vicky Vale and…what was Peter Parker’s girlfriend’s name? It escapes me. So, Jennifer Jensen, Jennifer Jacobs, Jennifer James, Jennifer Jackson (that sounds better with Jenny though)

You could go ethnic and exotic:

Kawashima, Mbutaleze, Villalobos, Kalashnikov (that was (still around?) a Soviet-era gun maker).

There are several Johns in this town, from New Zealand, Northern Ireland. My nickname is Montana Jon. State names are pretty cool to have. How about Jennifer Rhode Island? Jennifer Washington? Jennifer Dakota!

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**Author:** ![abel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@abel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abel)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/22 "2002-04-18T07:02:19Z")

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Peter Parker’s girlfriend was named Mary-Jane Watson, IIRC. Watson is a fun last name. Either that or Holmes. You could always make up a middle name too, and create some teeny bopper icon sounding name like Jennifer Love Hewitt. Jennifer Six Robot.

Jennifer Andrews  
Jennifer Burke  
Jennifer Collins  
Jennifer Davis  
Jennifer Elwood  
Jennifer Fellows  
Jennifer Graham  
Jennifer Holmes  
Jennifer Ingerham  
Jennifer James  
Jennifer Kinders  
Jennifer Livingston (I presume?)  
Jennifer McLeod  
Jennifer Nichols  
Jennifer Onomotopaeia  
Jennifer Pemberley  
Jennifer Quentin  
Jennifer Roberts  
Jennifer Smith  
Jennifer Thompson  
Jennifer Underhill  
Jennifer Van  
Jennifer Woolworth  
Jennifer Xema  
Jennifer Yardley  
Jennifer Zeeb

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**Author:** ![kuroashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9a140/32.png) [@kuroashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kuroashi)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/23 "2002-04-18T07:07:49Z")

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D’Oh! Mary Jane Watson. That girl belongs in a different comic book company! Why couldn’t they make her Mary Jane Majors?

X names

Jennifer X - slick, you can bring the X caps back into fashion!

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**Author:** ![LolaBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@LolaBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaBaby)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/24 "2002-04-18T07:14:58Z")

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Adams  
Brooks  
Cartwright  
Dvorak  
Eagan  
Ford  
Grant  
Hawkins  
Insley  
Jones  
Karley  
Lopez  
Matthews  
Nicola  
Orrin  
Peters  
Quentin  
Rogers  
Scott  
Taylor  
Underwood  
Victors  
Wentworth  
Xavier  
Youngblood  
Zoe

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**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/25 "2002-04-18T07:31:14Z")

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If you take the last name Who you gotta play first base. You just gotta.

You could take the name Romanov. That could be fun.

Or you could go Classical. Try this on. “Hello, I’m Jennifer Augustus Caesar.”

Or Buttercup.

Tolkien has some good ones in Elvish.

Although whenever I say Jennifer the last name Morgan follows. This from the character in the 70s and 80s comic book called **The Warlord** in which I can tell you Jennifer kicked ass!

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**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/26 "2002-04-18T07:51:36Z")

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Romanov is cool, as is Kalashnikov (I’m a bit of a Russophile) but Kalashnikov isn’t such a good name for a pacifist! Alas, I live in an area with a lot of Russian immigrants and I think taking on any sort of Russian last name would wierd them all out.

My main goal is to have a name that is better than my friend Mike Nixon’s. How cool is it to be Mike Nixon?!?!

I really like Jennifer Six Robot. The “Six” makes Jennifer Robot stop sounding like “Peter Rabbit” or “Donald Duck”.

Keep them coming or else I’ll have to go through the rest of my life as “Jennifer Six Robot”!!!

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**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/27 "2002-04-18T08:00:38Z")

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I would suggest going for something high up in the alphabet, because it gets you up lists and so on.

That said, the suggestion of **Jennifer Powers** was lovely. Sort of wonderwomany.

I also like the surname **Ravenscroft** , I don’t know why.

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**Author:** ![LolaBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@LolaBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaBaby)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/28 "2002-04-18T08:09:31Z")

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Santana  
Van Halen  
Ramone  
Jagger  
Richards  
McCartney  
Lennon  
Harrison  
Starr  
Townshend  
Daltrey  
Entwistle  
Moon  
Gallagher  
Grohl  
Mendel  
Cuomo  
Shiflett  
Smear  
Zander  
Nielsen  
Page  
Plant  
Bonham

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**Author:** ![PhiloVance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e19adc/32.png) [@PhiloVance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PhiloVance)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/29 "2002-04-18T13:34:34Z")

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Maybe you should change your first name, also. Jenny is a female donkey IIRC. 😉  
[sub] I’ve always had a preference for Prudence! :eek:

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**Author:** ![JoshMoses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ebca7d/32.png) [@JoshMoses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoshMoses)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/30 "2002-04-18T13:41:26Z")

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Hitler.

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**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/31 "2002-04-18T13:50:58Z")

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I’ve always been partial to the surname Carstairs, for no reason at all. Jennifer Carstairs.

Here’s a selection from my family tree:  
Jennifer Alexander  
Jennifer Barlow  
Jennifer Barratt  
Jennifer Brooks  
Jennifer Chalmers  
Jennifer Clapton  
Jennifer Dunwoodie  
Jennifer Emmerson  
Jennifer Feeny  
Jennifer Gibson  
Jennifer Groombridge  
Jennifer Hall  
Jennifer Harvey  
Jennifer Higginbottom  
Jennifer Holt  
Jennifer Howard  
Jennifer Ikin  
Jennifer Johnson  
Jennifer Killean  
Jennifer Lowery  
Jennifer Lyons  
Jennifer McGhee  
Jennifer Morris  
Jennifer Murphy  
Jennifer Nolan  
Jennifer Obourne  
Jennifer Park  
Jennifer Paterson  
Jennifer Quinn\*  
Jennifer Robertson  
Jennifer Rogers  
Jennifer Smart  
Jennifer Steel (or Steele)  
Jennifer Taylor  
Jennifer Tucker  
Jennifer Turner  
Jennifer Underwood\*  
Jennifer Veal  
Jennifer White  
Jennifer Wilton  
Jennifer Wood  
Jennifer Xander\*  
Jennifer Yardley\*  
Jennifer Zoble\*

I’m altering my database at present so I don’t have the entire family tree at hand. I had to pick random names to fill the letters denoted with \*

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**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/32 "2002-04-18T14:16:06Z")

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Well, it occurs to me that you may not want a name that causes everyone you meet to ask you where you got your name. Mankiller, while ultimately cool, would sentence you to a life of saying “No, I’m not Native American.” If you chose Robot, then you will always be saying “yes, I did make it up.”

But if that doesn’t bother you, then go for it.

I like Jennifer Six Robot.

(I wonder how many people would pronounce it “french:” Hello, may I speak to Miss Rah-bow?)

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**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/33 "2002-04-18T14:32:26Z")

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Jennifer St. John (just always liked the St. in a last name)  
Jennifer Frost (always loved Emma Frost the White Queen in X-men comics)  
Jennifer King (had a friend named Jennifer King, thought it was cool)  
I like a one syllable last name with Jennifer (since it has 3).

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**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/34 "2002-04-18T14:52:12Z")

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I don’t know, “Six Robot” sounds a little too much like “Sex Robot” to me. Instant unwanted attention magnet.

Some cool names I’ve come across:

Acquafredda  
Bacchus  
Bevilacqua  
Entwife (she borrowed it from Tolkien)  
Kreuzenstein  
Forget - pronounced “for-ZHAY”, but it’s a name you’ll probably always remember.  
McPuppyDoggue - part of my late lamented Boston’s full name.

Well, since I’m at the office, let’s see what sort of funky surnames I can find in the FAA… these are all actual names taken from the general mailing list.

Abeywarna  
Acquistapace  
Advincula (Blah blah, I am Count Advincula!)  
Ajifu  
Babachicos  
BadHorse  
Baltimore  
Bellopede  
Benevenuto  
Cabalbag  
Cadwallader (Verlin Cadwallader… whoa.)  
Cajigas  
Cecil (of course!)  
Ceithaml  
Cervantes  
Chaproniere  
Cheeseman  
Dmytriw  
Drinkall

_sigh_… there are too many damn people here. I’m going to throw in a couple Q, W, X, Y, and Z names and have done with it.

Wauahdooah  
Weatherman  
Wegrzyn  
Quackenbush  
Quaglio  
Qualiardi  
Quaranta  
Queppet  
Quiaot (add an ‘e’ and you have all five!)  
Quiocson  
Xhema  
Yackle  
Yopchick  
Yvellez  
Zink  
Zollicoffer  
Zschiesche  
Zub  
Zywokarte

And the one guaranteed to get you at the end of _any_ list:

Zyzys.

Have fun. Personally I think you should go with Wauadooah or Quiaot, but I think the person who provides the name you select should be rewarded by being told the name you’re changing from.

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**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/35 "2002-04-18T15:26:33Z")

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May I say that I happen to LIKE your present last name and think it’s very pretty and it would be too bad if you felt you had to change it because of the actions of another. Not all THAT awful of actions, too? It’s not like it’s Bin Laden or anything.

Why don’t you just bitch slap the next teacher who gives you shit? It’s a lot cheaper than changing your name. And, as I said before, if you plan on marrying and changing your last name to match your husband’s your last name will go away and with it the jokes. Plus, those jokes are getting to be ten years old. People will forget, despite the occasional pathetic gameshow appearance of your co-named.

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**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/36 "2002-04-18T16:05:05Z")

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Here you go. Right from the phone book.

```
                Arlisle
	Benton
	Caine	
	Delois
	Erman
	Foxx
	Glover
	Hayward, Hayes
	Icehart
	Justeene
	Kaelin
	Lange
	Maitlen
	Nallin
	Odette
	Pentall
	Quest
	Rainsdell
	Sammons
	Tallon
	Uhle
	Vallon
	Whilles
	Xanden
	Yarnall
	Zandell
```

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/37 "2002-04-18T18:14:55Z")

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How 'bout “Vegas?” It has a certain starlike cachet to it. Viva Jennifer Vegas.

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**Author:** ![MrAndrewV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@MrAndrewV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrAndrewV)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/38 "2002-04-18T20:12:32Z")

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I like ‘Youngblood’ and ‘Revenscroft’.  
I also like ‘Taiga.’

What do you want the name to say? I mean what do you really believe in? What are the things that you wont compromise on? Find a word that sums it up and then transalate it into french or latin or something.

Or you can search mythology. How about ‘Meixi’? Meixi was a woman who was sent to a Chinese warlord as a peace offering (supposedly). To cut a long story short she seduced him, gave hime really bad advice, kept him drunk and happy all the time while he neglected his duties and ultimately lead to him losing his entire kingdom. Just as his enemies were closing in she revealed that this had been her plan the entire time, just before she escaped.

Cool hey?

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**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/39 "2002-04-18T20:42:14Z")

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How about **Jennifer McPain!**

Has a nice ring to it

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**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-out-a-new-last-name-for-me/104226/40 "2002-04-18T20:57:15Z")

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Poppins

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