# Pick your bodyguard **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 8, 2015, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543 "2015-05-08T11:28:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/21 "2015-05-08T17:00:57Z")
I’m going to go with \*\*Skald the Rhymer \*\*in his prime. We all know that he is/was one tough dude and he has all of Athena’s power and minions behind him. And, being the gentleman he is, after the fight, which will be very brief, he will escort me home and make me a nice cuppa while whipping up a lovely dessert. Yes, I’m definitely going with \*\*Skald \*\*on this one. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lorene89095](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@Lorene89095](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorene89095)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/22 "2015-05-08T17:16:00Z")
I was told by a friend about a relative of hers who was in that situation,only one attacker,tho… She was an opera singer and let loose with a soprano scream from her very well trained lungs… The guy took off. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/23 "2015-05-08T17:46:23Z")
Batman. If he’s not allowed, Chuck Norris. ---
**Author:** ![Truman\_Burbank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@Truman\_Burbank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truman_Burbank)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/24 "2015-05-08T17:50:54Z")
Reacher. Of the books, not the movie. ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/25 "2015-05-08T18:09:01Z")
Genghis Khan. I would want a professional killer who wouldn’t have any second thoughts about causing more harm than necessary. KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! - for the win. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/26 "2015-05-08T18:32:21Z")
> [@LionelHutz405](#): > > Mr. T, in his prime. > Heck, he used to be a bodyguard for Ali. The scowl alone would probably be enough to send those boys running. I concur. Actual experience in the field goes a long way. ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/27 "2015-05-08T18:55:21Z")
I’ll take a Gurkha. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/28 "2015-05-08T18:55:36Z")
Obi-Wan Kenobi. ---
**Author:** ![Telperion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telperion/32/509_2.png) [@Telperion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperion)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/29 "2015-05-08T18:57:49Z")
Miyamoto Musashi. Never defeated in combat and literally wrote the book about duelling with katanas. I’m pretty confident he’d be able to handle himself. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/30 "2015-05-08T19:08:59Z")
Me from before or after the injury. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/31 "2015-05-08T19:12:17Z")
Definitely [Meng](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonga_Fifita) (in his prime – probably 20 years ago or so). Jake the Snake said the following about Meng: > [@](#): > > If I had a gun and was sitting inside a tank with one shell left and Meng is 300 yards away, he’s mine, right? Well the first thing I’m going to do is jump out of the tank and shoot myself because I don’t want to wound that son of a bitch and have him pissed off at me. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/32 "2015-05-08T19:14:23Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Definitely [Meng](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonga_Fifita) (in his prime – probably 20 years ago or so). > > Jake the Snake said the following about Meng: One of the stories I’ve read is about some guys trying to pick a fight with the wrestlers in a bar. Meng just reached over and pulled out one or more of the guy’s teeth. Just like that. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/33 "2015-05-08T20:01:39Z")
> [@jayrey](#): > > I’m going to go with \*\*Skald the Rhymer \*\*in his prime. We all know that he is/was one tough dude and he has all of Athena’s power and minions behind him. And, being the gentleman he is, after the fight, which will be very brief, he will escort me home and make me a nice cuppa while whipping up a lovely dessert. Yes, I’m definitely going with \*\*Skald \*\*on this one. 🙂 In my PRIME? Why, if it weren’t for Rhymer Rules 7, 49, 343, and 2401, I’d eviscerate you for such impertinence. As it is I’ve dispatched a Lindsey Vonn spankingbot to paddle Justin Beiber as a scapegoat. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/34 "2015-05-08T20:06:04Z")
Jesus Christ, because he’s my savior. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/35 "2015-05-08T20:07:58Z")
1974-era Muhammad Ali. There is only one King Of The Ring. And he’s PRETTY! (Would you argue with him?) ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/36 "2015-05-08T20:14:57Z")
> [@Dorjan](#): > > I’ll take a Gurkha. See post #18, he’s your man. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/37 "2015-05-08T20:33:23Z")
Yip Man ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/38 "2015-05-08T21:09:17Z")
> [@Disposable Hero](#): > > Bishnu Shrestha > > You know all those Hollywood movies, one man against an army? This guy did it for real. > > [http://www.badassoftheweek.com/shrestha.html](http://www.badassoftheweek.com/shrestha.html) [Or not so much.](http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/kolkata/Soldier-takes-on-dacoits-on-trainGang-Of-30/articleshow/6488820.cms?) Still incredibly brave but a bit more realistic. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/39 "2015-05-08T21:16:35Z")
I’d go with Andre. No, he probably isn’t the best fighter around, but I’m a pacifist for the most part and would hope that what with criminals being a cowardly lot, simply showing up with a 7’4", 520 pound pile of muscle would be enough to make violence unnecessary. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543/40 "2015-05-08T21:24:59Z")
John Jones MMA fighter. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-bodyguard/719543.md?page=3)