# Pick your conspiracy! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 2, 2004, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861 "2004-04-02T04:30:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ice1000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a3d4f5/32.png) [@ice1000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ice1000)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/1 "2004-04-02T04:30:04Z")
What conspiracy do you believe in? I want to believe that we have aliens in Area51. I think there have to be aliens out there (what they are doing visitng us is beyond me) and their spaceships can’t work perfectly every time. The whole weather balloon alibi given by the government is just too boring! ---
**Author:** ![5-HT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/f19dbf/32.png) [@5-HT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5-HT)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/2 "2004-04-02T06:05:02Z")
I like to think of the freemasons as the most powerful force on the planet. I think I just like the idea of those shriners in their little cars controlling everything. ---
**Author:** ![JoeSki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b487fb/32.png) [@JoeSki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeSki)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/3 "2004-04-02T07:08:52Z")
Freemasons? What’s that? And I tend to believe in Area 51 and aliens as well. ---
**Author:** ![Sami41](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c57346/32.png) [@Sami41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sami41)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/4 "2004-04-02T11:48:19Z")
> [@5-HT](#): > > I like to think of the freemasons as the most powerful force on the planet. I think I just like the idea of those shriners in their little cars controlling everything. I’ll second that. It’s either the freemasons or the cats, I can never decide which. ---
**Author:** ![pestie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e5b9ba/32.png) [@pestie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pestie)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/5 "2004-04-02T16:45:12Z")
The Illuminati. Gotta go with the classics. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/6 "2004-04-02T19:45:28Z")
The Illuminati and the Serpent people are really running the world on behalf of the freemasons and the knights templar. They are operating out of the moon, which is why they never let us land there but made us believe they did and killed JFK because he proposed the moon landing as well as was going to reveal that we really did have an alien spacecraft at Area 51(that crashed at roswell). All of this can be found in bible codes and nostrodamous prophecies. They also caused 9/11 to give them a reason to fighting little wars around the world under the guise of the “war on terrorism”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/7 "2004-04-02T20:21:53Z")
[Operating out of the moon?](http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/) ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/8 "2004-04-02T20:32:49Z")
Jews are just regular people just trying to make it through life like the rest of us. It’s a crazy theory. The Aryan Brothers all think I’m nuts. That’s what they tell me while we’re shooting at black heliocopters at night during the new moon. Damn those propeller mufflers—it’s almost as if we’re just shooting at nothing! We were going to let Big Foot join, 'til Bubba traced his lineage back to Mongolia. Besides, he looked a little too much like Greg Allman for anybody’s taste. Gave us all the willies. ---
**Author:** ![akrako1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@akrako1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akrako1)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/9 "2004-04-02T21:23:54Z")
Illuminati (including arms Freemasons/Skull&Bones/CFR/Rosthchilds/etc) Active 9/11 Complicity JFK assination being more than 1 guy involved Aliens being used as disinformation/misdirection ---
**Author:** ![ice1000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a3d4f5/32.png) [@ice1000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ice1000)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2004, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/10 "2004-04-02T21:52:09Z")
> [@akrako1](#): > > Aliens being used as disinformation/misdirection And they are being used as disinformation for what? More aliens, government technology??? ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/11 "2004-04-03T06:22:32Z")
Okay, okay, I’m tired of all the denying. We Freemasons, disguised as ordinary humans, really do rule the world. In Area 51, everybody wears fezzes, including the aliens. Hey, those little guys can party. Eddie Van Halen wanted to pay us to rename it Area 5150, but it was narrowly voted down. Edward’s a fine fella, and Master of his lodge, but he didn’t have the votes. In a concession to EVH, though, we’re going to Ernie Ball cabletows in '06. 😃😉 :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Sami41](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c57346/32.png) [@Sami41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sami41)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/12 "2004-04-03T12:00:43Z")
So, then. . . .I can rule out the cats? ---
**Author:** ![UselessGit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/74df32/32.png) [@UselessGit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UselessGit)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/13 "2004-04-03T12:21:15Z")
> [@Sami41](#): > > So, then. . . .I can rule out the cats? Rule out the cats. Elves control the world. I can’t believe some people don’t believe in Elves, Eskimos and Esperanto. ---
**Author:** ![Kneepants\_Erasmus\_the\_Humanist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/54ee81/32.png) [@Kneepants\_Erasmus\_the\_Humanist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kneepants_Erasmus_the_Humanist)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/14 "2004-04-03T13:49:22Z")
I am partial to the theory that crack was introduced to urban areas by the government to keep blacks etc. under control…it wouldn’t surprise me. You know…_They are watching us right now!_ Um…hah hah. ---
**Author:** ![Sami41](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c57346/32.png) [@Sami41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sami41)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/15 "2004-04-03T14:07:06Z")
> [@UselessGit](#): > > Rule out the cats. Elves control the world. I can’t believe some people don’t believe in Elves, Eskimos and Esperanto. Too, bad. I was pulling for the cats. BTW, I do believe in Eskimos, even though I’ve never seen one. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/16 "2004-04-03T14:48:04Z")
> [@UselessGit](#): > > Rule out the cats. Elves control the world. I can’t believe some people don’t believe in Elves, Eskimos and Esperanto. Yes! Yes! Rule out the cats! Meow…I’m mean ex-ce-lent… ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/17 "2004-04-03T15:13:33Z")
Bush paid “them” to do 9/11 Bush stole the last election Bush will rig the next election Bush will hide WMD’s in Iraq and dig them up just before next election Bush caught OBL and is hiding him in Area 51 until right before next election Bush conspired with Castro to kill JFK Bush also contracted to have RFK and MLK killed Bush paid a bribe to Tony Blair so England would stick with the U.S. re: Iraq Bush put Mad Cow Disease germs in Canada Bush is causing the high gasoline prices so his friends can get rich Bush caused the dress material to be faulty so that Janet’s boob fell out Bush wants high unemployment in the U.S. so he’s sending jobs overseas Bush…eh, that’s enough No wonder they say President of the U.S. is a busy job! ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/18 "2004-04-03T15:52:03Z")
I think Dick Cheney has been dead for years. But _they_ don’t want to say anything until after the term is up. And that they built a really good robot likeness to trot out before “he” goes back to the “undisclosed location” _they_ always claim “he” is at. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/19 "2004-04-03T18:08:04Z")
> [@JoeSki](#): > > Freemasons? What’s that? Those bearded rebels living in New Hampshire who carry pitchforks and worship the Devil. ---
**Author:** ![bittersweet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@bittersweet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bittersweet)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-conspiracy/237861/20 "2004-04-03T18:19:33Z")
> [@ice1000](#): > > I want to believe that we have aliens in Area51. I think there have to be aliens out there… Ever since the X-Files, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if we had aliens hangin’ out somewhere, in a government protected area. Then again, Fox (_such_ an appropriate name) Mulder could have blathered about anything, and I’d believe it. The truth **is** out there.