# pick your wooden actor - actress couple of all-time! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 28, 2009, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500 "2009-10-28T19:32:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Pulp\_Friction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@Pulp\_Friction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pulp_Friction)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/41 "2009-10-29T15:30:37Z")
Of the top of my head, I’ll say Thora Birch and Chris Pine. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/42 "2009-10-29T15:34:41Z")
Oh, and **Scarlett Johannson** also belongs in this thread. Great looking gal, but she really brings the hickory. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/43 "2009-10-29T16:26:06Z")
Rebecca Pidgeon was the first actress I thought of. I haven’t seen her mentioned in this thread but I remember other “bad actor” threads where the blonde woman who was the assistant DA on “Law & Order” a few years back got dumped on. (I can’t remember her name now - she was the one who turned out to be a surprise lesbian in her last episode.) I need to go check out IMDB to see who this “Lindsay Crouse” is that everyone’s talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/44 "2009-10-29T16:36:11Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Although I love, love love his wooden self, all three of the little pigs could have made a house out of Clint Eastwood. His style is delightful and totally works for him but a font of emotion he is not. “A man’s got to know his limitations.” ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/45 "2009-10-29T16:53:35Z")
Nicole Kidman. Yuck, I just can’t watch her in anything. She has that one stupid look on her face, always! Maybe it’s botox or maybe she’s an alien, but, for me she is the poster child for wooden! ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/46 "2009-10-29T17:34:32Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Nicole Kidman. > > Yuck, I just can’t watch her in anything. She has that one stupid look on her face, always! > > Maybe it’s botox or maybe she’s an alien, but, for me she is the poster child for wooden! Yep, I think Nicole Kidman’s a horrible actor, but what sent me to haterville for her was her stupid defense of smoking. Blech. I like Keanu Reeves, as unpopular a sentiment as that is 'round these parts. Yes, he’s somewhat oak imbued, but I’ll watch anything he’s in… which probably says more about me than him. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/47 "2009-10-29T17:49:53Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > Rebecca Pidgeon was the first actress I thought of. > > I haven’t seen her mentioned in this thread but I remember other “bad actor” threads where the blonde woman who was the assistant DA on “Law & Order” a few years back got dumped on. (I can’t remember her name now - she was the one who turned out to be a surprise lesbian in her last episode.)… That was [Elisabeth Rohm](http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3476850944/nm0737533)– excellent choice, BTW. And she looks a lot like [Julia Stiles](http://www.imdb.com/media/rm27953408/nm0005466), another wood faced actress. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/48 "2009-10-29T18:39:08Z")
> [@koufax](#): > > How about Robert “reverse mortgage” Wagner? [Total hijack] Total hijack for which I apologize, but when I see ads like that I wonder ‘why?’. I can understand if Burt Reynolds or Sherman Hemsley or Ed McMahon or some other celebrity with well documented money problems did them, but Wagner inherited millions from his family, he earned millions from his [del]acting[/del] movies and TV shows, and he invested well, he’s almost always on the lists of richest men in Hollywood with a 9 figure fortune- the point is he _does not_ need the money. Which makes me wonder, why does he do cheesy commercials? Ditto William Shatner- there was a time when he was broke that he’s discussed at length in memoirs and talks, but for the last 30 years he’s been a millionaire many times over from Trek and his other projects- yet not only does he do commercials he does particularly cheesy ones (“Use the law firm of _Your Name Here for $10,000_ to prove you were injured even though you weren’t in the car”). Cher did that godawful infomercial for hair car products but that’s because[the owner](http://www.alexandreleupin.com/albums/album91/Gardulla_the_Hutt.jpg) of the services was a friend and she didn’t really understand it was going to be on late night 5 times per night for the next 3 years. These others new what they were doing. [/Total Hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/49 "2009-10-29T18:46:13Z")
> [@tanstaafl](#): > > Martin Landau and Barbera Bain. I always maintain that Anderson picked them as the leads for _Space: 1999_ because all his experience was with directing wooden marionettes. IIRC, Spider Robinson wrote, “They could come in handy this winter, cut down to stove length”. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/50 "2009-10-29T19:12:42Z")
David Caruso and the entire cast of CSI Miami. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2009, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/51 "2009-10-29T19:16:42Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > You’re saying Paxton is a bad actor? Have you never seen Aliens, Wierd Science, Predator 2, Commando, Terminator, Navy SEALS, Tombstone, A Simple Plan, Club Dread, or the videos to Fishheads or Shadows of the Night? You left out _Frailty_. A great role in a great movie. ---
**Author:** ![Dorothea\_Book](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Dorothea\_Book](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorothea_Book)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/52 "2009-10-30T04:24:37Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > David Caruso and the entire cast of CSI Miami. Caruso wins, yes. (But isn’t it weird how he wasn’t wooden in NYPD Blue?) ---
**Author:** ![Dorothea\_Book](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Dorothea\_Book](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorothea_Book)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/53 "2009-10-30T04:26:06Z")
> [@h.sapiens](#): > > Re: Lindsay Crouse and Rebecca Pigeon. Crouse used to be married to David Mamet (when House of Games was made) and Pigeon is currently married to him (The Winslow Boy, The Spanish Prisoner). So that explains how they got those roles, anyway. So doesn’t this mean that Mamet is somehow complicit? Does he simply love wooden actresses or does he actually _create_ them? ---
**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/54 "2009-10-30T04:54:57Z")
Zooey Desch…whatshername. Holy Og, she has two looks, both of which make her look like a yap dog on Lithium. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/55 "2009-10-30T05:05:52Z")
Also, _Big Love._ Bill Paxton is an _excellent_ actor. He might come off as wooden because the characters that he plays are often pretty one-dimensional. But that’s not his acting, that’s just how the characters are supposed to be. _Big Love_ is proof that Paxton has the skills to pull off serious acting - a show centering around the micro-economy of a family’s day-to-day life, 80% of which takes place inside a suburban home and concerns the most mundane domestic tasks, managed to be one of the most riveting, tense and suspenseful shows on television! And it’s in no small part because of Paxton, and Chloe Sevigny and Jeanne Tripplehorn. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/56 "2009-10-30T05:10:23Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > You left out _Frailty_. A great role in a great movie. And _The Dark Backward_, which is just weird. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/57 "2009-10-30T10:36:10Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > I need to go check out IMDB to see who this “Lindsay Crouse” is that everyone’s talking about. Here’s the House of Games trailer so you can get a glimpse of her excellent range. 😉 [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/A0eFfE8oa98/hqdefault.jpg "House of Games (David Mamet, 1987) Theatrical Trailer") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0eFfE8oa98) ---
**Author:** ![frootle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a87d85/32.png) [@frootle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frootle)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/58 "2009-10-30T10:42:28Z")
> [@Apocalypso](#): > > Keanu and Andie MacDowell. > What do I win? Sadly only my complete agreement. But if it were to be a monetary value you could buy a nice boat 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nightingale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@Nightingale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightingale)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/59 "2009-10-30T11:24:54Z")
I’ll see your Denise Richards and raise you one Casper Van Dien. Horrible. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2009, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500/60 "2009-10-30T11:37:51Z")
I’ve made my picks, but I’ll also commit some Hollywood heresy and say that Gary Cooper was a mighty oak. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pick-your-wooden-actor-actress-couple-of-all-time/515500.md?page=4)