# Picky eaters - quirk or mental disorder? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 7, 2010, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856 "2010-07-07T14:17:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/41 "2010-07-07T21:56:07Z")
I read a piece in The New Yorker a couple of years ago that was an account of several fishermen (I think they were Mexican but I’m not positive) who were stranded in the ocean in a small lifeboat for many months. The captain was unable to stomach the idea of eating raw fish, which the others were able to eat. He ended up dying of starvation, while all the others survived until they were rescued. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/42 "2010-07-07T22:04:08Z")
Think of it as evolution in action. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/43 "2010-07-07T22:10:16Z")
I have a theory that a lot of this is caused by childhood drama surrounding food. Children are naturally conservative about food, I think. They shouldn’t be given the option of a separate menu, but there shouldn’t be a sturm-and-drang if they avoid certain things. I was very picky as a child, and I am still a little bit on the picky side, but the older I get, the more I grow out of it. I think it would have been a better situation if as a child, the adults around me didn’t call attention to my pickiness or try to force me to eat things that I was avoiding. I still have a degree of paranoia surrounding fruit. Overripe and spoiled fruit drive me crazy in a way that, say, bad meat never does, so on my own I tend to throw out fruit long before it starts going bad. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/44 "2010-07-07T22:11:31Z")
> [@stretch](#): > > My food selection is wide enough that it doesn’t prevent me from living my life. I was very careful not to let my pickiness to rub off on my kids; they both eat a wide variety of foods. Good for you! Thats really a peeve for me. Everybody has “issues” like picky eating or procrastination or abnormal fears or whatevers. Maybe you can’t fix em. Maybe you don’t want to or think its worth the effort to do so. But, please o please, DON"T pass em onto your kids if you can help it. As far as “issues” go, being a picky eater doesnt rank that high on the life’s problems scale. But, OTOH there certainly isnt any ADVANTAGE to it either. So, IMO its a good thing that you’ve managed to not pass it onto your kids. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/45 "2010-07-07T22:13:54Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Oh, for cryin’ out loud. They’re battered-and-fried, high-fat, salty foods. Of _course_ they like 'em. They’re tasty! Show me a “picky eater” who only eats steamed Brussels sprouts and liver, and then you’ll get somewhere with me. :rolleyes: I was an extremely picky eater as a child; however, I loved liver and spinach. Those weren’t the only things I’d eat, but I did love them. > [@](#): > > IME picky eaters were catered to too much as kids. Eat it or go hungry worked for me. My mother had a rule: I wasn’t allowed to dismiss a food unless I tried it. If I gave it a fair shake, then I was allowed to say I didn’t like it and didn’t have to eat it. She wouldn’t, however, make me anything else. I would have to make do with whatever else was cooked. I grew out of my picky eater behaviour, but there are still certain things that I just do not like, and never will: Fish (except for tuna salad) Ketchup Tomatoes (though I can do pizza sauce, spaghetti sauce) Green Peppers Beets ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/46 "2010-07-07T22:15:40Z")
I definitely think that it’s usually related to anxiety about change/new things. Half of my relatives are picky eaters. These same people are all anxious about trying ANYTHING new, food or otherwise. They are also painfully shy. Virtually all the picky eaters I’ve known outside my family had the same traits as well. I don’t think it’s a coincidence. I think a big part of the fear is of humiliating themselves by gagging, choking, spitting out food, or throwing up at the table. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/47 "2010-07-07T22:23:32Z")
> [@Mijin](#): > > Hmm, this thread is certainly fighting _my_ ignorance. > > I’ve always looked down on picky eaters. > The way I was raised, if you didn’t eat what was put in front of you, you didn’t eat. And as a result (I’ve always thought), I can eat just about anything within reason. > I’ve always had the suspicion that picky eaters were spoiled as children, and they’ve just carried that part of it through to adulthood. As others have pointed out, some of us just didn’t eat. I appreciate your willingness to listen in this thread. > [@In\_Winnipeg](#): > > This picky eater crap starts in childhood when a parent is willing to give the child an alternate menu instead of making them eat what was cooked. When kids decide they don’t want to eat something, usually they make the decision without even trying the food in question, I find. > > That never would have flown in my mother’s house. Her philosophy was “You’ll eat what was cooked, I’m not running a restaurant here.” Were there things I hated? Sure, I wasn’t a big liver fan, but I ate it anyway, because it was better than going hungry. Over time, I actually learned to tolerate liver, not to mention feel the same way with other things I wasn’t crazy about, i.e., eggplant, turnips, squashes of all types, etc. I will echo those who said that the real picky eaters do actually prefer to go hungry. > [@](#): > > The other thing is that you never know what you’re going to get served when you’re invited out someplace, and to refuse to eat something is bad manners, and potentially embarrassing to your parents when you were a kid. And I was incredibly embarrassed about it, trust me. But as the OP said: [QUOTE=gang green] It’s not stubbornness, it’s that I genuinely feel like there are lots of things that are called “food” that just don’t qualify for me. [/QUOTE] * * * > [@silenus](#): > > IME picky eaters were catered to too much as kids. Eat it or go hungry worked for me. Therefore it must work for everyone? Great Doper Logic, there. Again, some of us went hungry. I was a _very_ picky eater. Over the years (I’m now 30), I have slowly chipped away at the list of Verboten foods, even to the point where many people don’t know I’m a picky eater\*. However, if something is still on the Verboten list, it will not enter my mouth. It’s been a difficult, uphill battle, but I’m getting better. Oddly, the Verboten list doesn’t include anything I discovered after childhood. Thus, it consists solely of vegetables I was forced to eat as a kid, and virtually no ethnic food. But, as I said, it’s shrinking, which is good. \*Actually, I’m now a vegetarian, so I’m considered picky, but of a different sort. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/48 "2010-07-07T22:25:03Z")
> [@Q.N.Jones](#): > > I definitely think that it’s usually related to anxiety about change/new things. Half of my relatives are picky eaters. These same people are all anxious about trying ANYTHING new, food or otherwise. They are also painfully shy. Virtually all the picky eaters I’ve known outside my family had the same traits as well. I don’t think it’s a coincidence. I think a big part of the fear is of humiliating themselves by gagging, choking, spitting out food, or throwing up at the table. I’m one of the most extroverted people on the planet, I try new things all the time, and I’m a picky eater (see my previous post). ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/49 "2010-07-07T22:31:19Z")
I actually want to add anecdotal support to the posters who have been comparing this to phobia: the correct response seems to be exposure therapy. “Try it, you’ll like it” doesn’t work so well, because one taste of something that is Verboten ( **Jamaika a jamaikaiaké** , I like your terminology) will just make the person feel ill and dirty. But actual effort on that person’s part, with a desire to get over the aversion, can lead to them trying something in small portions at a time, _at their own chosen rate_, many times over a long period of time, and eventually becoming less averse. My anecdotal evidence: my own experience, of course. And I was just remembering that I have other issues with texture and other sensory things, one of them having been in the past, putting anything on my lips: lipstick, lip gloss, chapstick, etc. But recently out of necessity (very chapped lips) I started using lip balm. At first I hated it, and after a little while I would wipe it off, but I kept leaving it on longer and longer until now, after 5 years (yes, 5 years) I love lip balm and wear it every day, reapplying frequently. ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/50 "2010-07-07T22:32:48Z")
My daughter (6) is not a super picky eater, but she can be sort of finicky. She does generally like chicken fingers, but she absolutely will not consume a french fry (or potatoes in any other form). I don’t require her (or her 2-year-old brother) to eat anything I serve, but I don’t make something special for her either (the sole exception is that she can have a roll if the rest of us are eating mashed potatoes with dinner). Some nights she makes her meal of broccoli because nothing else looks good; some nights she gorges on steak or chicken. She is not allowed to insult the cook by saying that the food is yucky, but she doesn’t have to eat it if she doesn’t want it. She can have as much as she wants of anything but dessert (subject to everyone else at the table getting a fair portion, of course). She gets one serving of dessert, served with everything else, whether she eats nothing else or everything else. Her brother has the same rules, except I can’t really enforce the “no insulting the cook” on an emerging talker. This is a fairly recent renovation in “eating culture” at our house, based on the “eating competence” model of [Ellyn Satter](http://www.ellynsatter.com/). So far it seems to be working well. She’s definitely not getting pickier, and she _is_ getting quite a lot pleasanter to be around at mealtimes. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/51 "2010-07-08T00:43:17Z")
> [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](#): > > I’m one of the most extroverted people on the planet, I try new things all the time, and I’m a picky eater (see my previous post). I didn’t say “all picky eaters are anxious.” It’s not a 1:1 correlation. I’m saying, it’s a trend I’ve noticed, and the two seem to be related. Obviously, not in every case. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/52 "2010-07-08T04:07:13Z")
> [@In\_Winnipeg](#): > > This picky eater crap starts in childhood when a parent is willing to give the child an alternate menu instead of making them eat what was cooked. When kids decide they don’t want to eat something, usually they make the decision without even trying the food in question, I find. > > That never would have flown in my mother’s house. Her philosophy was “You’ll eat what was cooked, I’m not running a restaurant here.” Were there things I hated? Sure, I wasn’t a big liver fan, but I ate it anyway, because it was better than going hungry. Over time, I actually learned to tolerate liver, not to mention feel the same way with other things I wasn’t crazy about, i.e., eggplant, turnips, squashes of all types, etc. > > The other thing is that you never know what you’re going to get served when you’re invited out someplace, and to refuse to eat something is bad manners, and potentially embarrassing to your parents when you were a kid. > Unfortunately, my (now ex-)wife didn’t feel the same way – she would indulge the kids’ whims about what they didn’t want to eat and cook something alternate for them. Net result was a larger food budget (back when I really couldn’t afford it), lots of wasted food, and today, kids that won’t eat a lot of things. > > Did I mention she was my ex-wife? Just one of the reasons she is, BTW. My mother also said that I would eat what she cooked. And a lot of times, I didn’t eat. See, I knew even then that if I ate stuff like raw onions or black or red pepper, that my digestive system would rebel for a few days. It turns out that I have inflammatory bowel disease, and raw onions and various peppers are a couple of the triggers. My mother thought this was all in my head, though, and since SHE loved raw onion and various peppers, that’s what she cooked. I learned to cook scrambled eggs when I was about 8. As I grew older, I learned more dishes. I HAD to learn to cook, as my mother’s cooking literally made me sick. Liver is not a trigger, it’s just something that I don’t like. Same goes for any kind of shellfish. I CAN eat those foods, but I don’t like them. Some people are picky eaters because of their tastes or upbringing. But some are picky eaters because they’ve learned that if they eat certain foods, then they will have unpleasant consequences. And yes, even if we don’t know that we’re consuming the forbidden food, we’ll have those consequences. And you know what? No matter how rude you might think I am to not eat something, I’m not willing to suffer for three days to a week because you think that black pepper should be included in every dish. If I only drink a glass of water because that’s all I can handle, that’s my business. Now yes, there are kids who are overly catered to. But sometimes kids are not listened to enough. You have to find the right balance. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/53 "2010-07-08T04:10:43Z")
> [@Q.N.Jones](#): > > I didn’t say “all picky eaters are anxious.” It’s not a 1:1 correlation. I’m saying, it’s a trend I’ve noticed, and the two seem to be related. Obviously, not in every case. That’s fine. And I was adding another data point to your survey. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/54 "2010-07-08T15:11:30Z")
It wouldn’t surprise me if many of the cases of picky eaters having had serious battles with their parents over food also involved control conflicts in other aspects of their lives. In other words, the food issues become more deeply ingrained because they’re just one part of a whole complex of issues. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/55 "2010-07-08T16:41:13Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > It wouldn’t surprise me if many of the cases of picky eaters having had serious battles with their parents over food also involved control conflicts in other aspects of their lives. In other words, the food issues become more deeply ingrained because they’re just one part of a whole complex of issues. I suppose this could be true of some folks but I honestly don’t get why people are so perplexed at the idea that some people simply don’t enjoy eating / eating a variety of things. For me it’s the basic fact that if something doesn’t look or smell good I have no interest in putting it in my mouth. I don’t consider food the great social unifier that most people seem to. It’s simply something I need to stay alive and I do get a little tired of people equating picky eating habits with maturity or some deeper issue. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/56 "2010-07-08T16:48:04Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I suppose this could be true of some folks but I honestly don’t get why people are so perplexed at the idea that some people simply don’t enjoy eating / eating a variety of things. For me it’s the basic fact that if something doesn’t look or smell good I have no interest in putting it in my mouth. I don’t consider food the great social unifier that most people seem to. It’s simply something I need to stay alive and I do get a little tired of people equating picky eating habits with maturity or some deeper issue. People are perplexed because (1) it’s abnormal; it defies the inborn omnivorousness of the human species and (2) regardless of your personal feelings about the role of food in your life, it doesn’t change the role of food in human society; the presence of picky eaters interferes with the smooth functioning of interpersonal and societal relationships. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/57 "2010-07-08T17:08:58Z")
Regarding “eat it or go hungry,” you also have to take this into account. For kids who are sensitive to certain foods (or most foods!), putting it on a plate in front of them and making them contemplate putting it in their mouths is likely to absolutely kill their appetite. To some people, being asked to eat shepherd’s pie makes them feel the same way “normal” people feel watching Fear Factor. So if disgust destroys hunger, it’s quite possible for these folks to chose the “go hungry” option. I gently push my daughter to try new foods, and we’re making progress. But if I were to try to use “eat disliked foods or starve” I would probably be guilty of child abuse and neglect before she would eat enough of these foods to sustain her. I wish people wouldn’t get so accusatory about picky eaters and assume they’re spoiled. ---
**Author:** ![gang\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f07891/32.png) [@gang\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gang_green)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/58 "2010-07-08T18:36:25Z")
I wasn’t forced to eat anything I didn’t want to as a child, but my mother wouldn’t make anything special if I wouldn’t eat what she cooked. So from a very early age (I’m talking younger than 5, here) I would fix myself a bowl of cereal. A couple of years later, chicken noodle soup was added to my recipe book. As I got older, I’d figure out other things I could make (grilled cheese sandwich, scrambled eggs) that I’d make for myself if the family dinner was not something I’d eat. I never really got any flak about it. I was the youngest in a large family, and Mom wasn’t going to go dancing attendance on my likes/dislikes. She wasn’t going to let me starve, though, so we had stuff around that I would eat and could fix by myself. As for the pickiness being some kind of control issue, I’m not so sure. I mean, I can see anxiety about eating some things being a hallmark, but my reaction seems to be more like, “I don’t like the way this smells/tastes/etc., so I don’t want to eat it.” ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/59 "2010-07-08T18:44:45Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Yeah, that’s another one. I was once going to have a friend over for a weekend, and she promised me she wasn’t going to poop the entire time. I thought it was a little strange, but she seemed sincere. While I certainly wouldn’t try not to poop the whole time, you only need to clog up someone else’s toilet once to get a bit of a hangup over it. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856/60 "2010-07-08T18:44:51Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > It’s also very common for Chinese people travelling to the West (or even other parts of China) to eat very little or prepare most of their own food because they cannot tolerate Western food. A common complaint is that it is bland, heavy, oddly textured, too monotonous, too sweet, not fresh enough, contains cheese (which they perceive as simply rotten milk) or just plain odd. In fact, I only know one Chinese person who will voluntarily choose to eat Western food and genuinely enjoy it. For most Chinese people visiting the West, the food is the hardest part for them to deal with and I’ve had friends tell me they were pretty much hungry all the time because they found the food disgusting and inedible. See, this is the “bad” end of picky eating for me. It’s just seems like a lack of adventurousness, probably coupled with some degree of snobbery about foreign foods. After all, in the kinds of major cities in the West where people tend to visit, there are foods from all around the world (and I’m not just talking themed restaurants, I mean genuine imported food for/by the various immigrant populations). How can you visit such a city and be hungry without having an absurdly narrow palate? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/picky-eaters-quirk-or-mental-disorder/545856.md?page=4)