There’s a commercial out now where a mother walks in on her son doing “something” but it seems to be pretty clearly implied that he’s watching porn and/or masturbating. If it had been a father/daughter commercial, I doubt that it would have made it to air.
Here’s an alleged letter from a wife to her husband. It’s deemed hilarious by The Poke, but can you imagine how patronising it would seem if it were from the husband to the wife?
Hmm, I wouldn’t call it hilarious, but I didn’t find it particularly patronizing or sexist, either. The writer seems to have faith that her husband is competent to take care of the children in her absence; the letter is just a description of their particular habits and issues that she has more experience with than he does.
My husband and I sometimes “collect” actors who seem markedly different in interviews/apparent real life versus how they seem in the roles they usually play. The disappointing ones are the ones who play really cool roles but seem like dolts in real life. The pleasant surprises are the ones for whom we hated the character but see them in an interview or something and they’re actually really cool.
The most recent example was when we saw the actress who plays Maritza in Orange is the New Black. We thought she would be a ditz like her character, but she was very funny and intelligent when we saw her on The Nightly Show.
Look at the pictures in this BBC article. Particularly the fourth and the sixth: girls going on to university and boys going on to apprenticeships. Now reverse that: boys going on to university and girls going on to be secretaries or nurses. But look also at the first three: girls being joyful - not a boy in sight - in the first, aboys looking concerned in the second, and a happy family celebrating the success of their two daughters - again no boys in sight.
I don’t see the claim of sexism in most of the pictures if they are reversed.
I do have a comment about this sentence though:
No, the fact that you wrote that the reverse of women going to university and men on apprenticeship would be men going to university and women becoming secretaries or nurses (which currently, those positions ALSO require a diploma), DOES imply sexism… on your part. The mirror would’ve been the women also in apprenticeship (which I agree should’ve been put, or at least a mixed picture stating, YES, women CAN do trade school).
I dunno. What comes to my mind when I read that quote was my marriage vows. “For better, for worse”.* If Mistermage hadn’t been able to handle my being sick, my lack of housekeeping skills or the ups and downs of me he wouldn’t deserve to enjoy the fruits of my being better, my learning to cook and the absolute adoration I give him.
The same holds true in the reverse.
*we skipped the “obey” part.
I’m reading a greater level of severity into “worst” in that Monroe-attributed quote. I see “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” as a quote that can potentially be used by violent and/or abusive people to condone/excuse their violence or abusiveness, essentially giving their “worst” behavior a free pass.
(Not that I’m saying that Marilyn Monroe *herself *was abusive - and again, this quote is probably mis-attributed to her - but rather, that the people who share, post or “like” the photo meme may be using it to excuse their own behavior, which may be violent, abusive or otherwise terrible.)
IME people who share these memes aren’t necessarily terrible, they just think being in a relationship is the end-all be-all of existence, and are rather myopic as a result. They are in love with the concept of love which means idealizing the imagined ‘‘other’’ and minimizing the impact of their own flaws on any given relationship, because Twue Wuv fixes everything in their world, including all the things that are wrong with them. Their idea of love has no concept of reciprocation.
I consider myself a hopeless romantic, but not that sort. I knew from a young age that a true partnership would eventually mean wiping my elderly husband’s ass when he was too sick to do it; or in the case of reality so far, finding out a way to endure the grief of losing a baby without tearing one another apart. Actual Twue Wuv is not often pretty, but it’s beautiful in its own way.
Another thing it can refer to is how one looks. As in “If you can’t handle seeing me in sweats, pony tail and no make-up, you don’t deserve to see me in a nightie, upswept “do” and full warpaint”. Or “If you can’t handle seeing me throwing up, cramping out or gaining weight you don’t deserve to see me looking hot etc”.
I just don’t think women posting that meme ever think about violence as being the “worst”. Mainly because that wouldn’t be something they would put up with. A woman who does wouldn’t be posting woman power type memes.
So, yeah, I suppose if you flipped it around as meaning violence it wouldn’t be a good thing for a man to post but I just don’t see most women having that mindset.
This is a very unrealistic, inaccurate and demeaning thing to say about the victims of abuse.
Explain to me why, please.
(I was abused physically and sexually as a kid. Not as much as the other girls in my family but it happened. I didn’t let it affect my life other than keeping a watchful eye on my kids, didn’t marry a pedofile and cut off family members who prefer to keep the cycle going. )
That may be the literal opposite of the pictures, but there’s a metaphorical sense as well. Apprenticing to a trade, like plumbing or carpentry, is a stereotypical male career just as being a nurse or secretary is a stereotype for women. There’s nothing wrong with being a nurse or a plumber, but they aren’t as esteemed (or as well compensated) as university grads like doctors or lawyers. To the extent that the pictures show women excelling beyond their traditional occupations, and men stuck in theirs, I think I can see what Quartz was getting at.