# Pillow talk in the Twilight Zone **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2005, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621 "2005-04-04T05:44:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/1 "2005-04-04T05:44:14Z")
The following transpired between Little Bird and her Beloved Bird Man at about 12:30 am Monday morning. > [@](#): > > BM: _snore_ > LB: Sweetie, wake up. You’re snoring. > BM: Mwha? > LB: Do you have any nose thingies to put on? > BM: Hrrm? > LB: (_Remembering last time Bird Man tried to put on a nose strip in the dark and half asleep_) I’m gonna turn on the light now. > _BM Puts pillow over his eyes_ > _LB turns on lamp and looks for nose strip. Skootches up pillow to reach Bird Man’s nose._ > BM: Who was I talking to just then? > LB: That was me. > BM: NO, who was that? > LB: I’m your wife\* sweetie. > _LB sticks nose thingie to Bird Man’s nose._ > BM: No, I mean who was I talking to that was why I was snoring? > LB: It’s just me here, babe. > BM: (_getting angry_) NO! Who’s fucking parking lot am I in? > LB: What? > BM: (_Really angry but still under pillow_) Who was I fucking talking to? > _LB realizes Bird Man is still sleeping and turns out the light, but is so wracked with laughter she must muffle herself with a pillow. Since she can not stop laughing and Bird Man is just getting angrier she comes out to the computer room to type up the transcript, still giggling like mad._ \*technically we get married in a few months, but we are cool with calling each other husband and wife when we don’t feel like dealing with the technicals. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/2 "2005-04-04T05:51:22Z")
Bahahahahaha! My poor husband has conversations like this all the time, and it’s me that is the Twilight Zoned one. He once asked me if his tie went with his shirt and I apparently replied, “I’ll tell you what, when you get me Rick’s brother’s balloons.” Serves you people right for talking in our sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/3 "2005-04-04T06:45:54Z")
My ex boyfriend once woke me up in the middle of the night by saying “I need a light.” I obliged by turning on the bedside lamp. The ex-boyfriend sighed loudly and said “I need a light that will show me the fields but that people won’t kick over.” Okay… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/4 "2005-04-04T12:28:57Z")
You all need a rock to wind a string around. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/5 "2005-04-04T17:48:06Z")
Well? Are you going to leave us hanging? Who’s fucking parking lot was he in? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/6 "2005-04-04T17:59:03Z")
Hehehehe…morning is one of my favorite parts of the day, just because I know I’ll get a little laugh out of my morning conversation with a sleeping **kittenlm**. Just about every day, it’s something along the lines of: Me: “Sweetie…time to get up.” Her: “zzz…Not yet…still too many elephants…zzzz” Me: “Oh, ok. Well, how many elephants are left?” Her: “Fifteen…zzzzz… Still not done painting them.” Me: “Ok. Well, do you need any more paint?” Her (coming around): “I…zzz…huh? Paint? What’re you talking about?” Then we get into the daily discussion about how she _does not_ talk in her sleep, and how I’m a filthy liar. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/7 "2005-04-04T19:31:15Z")
Transcript of a scintillating conversation between me and the Lovely and Talented Mrs. **Shodan** (as reported by her): > [@](#): > > Me: Stop the boiling water! > > TLaTM **S** : Why? > > Me: It cuts down on my travel time. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/8 "2005-04-04T19:43:39Z")
Oh, yeah, sleeptalkers. SO when he was heavy into playing Heroes of Might and Magic: “Will you make me into a castle now?” Another time: “Get the hippo.” Also: “I can’t, the monkey will get me.” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/9 "2005-04-04T19:51:19Z")
When I mentioned the incident this morning, Bird Man _insisted_ he was awake during the conversation and _very_ pissed off at me for not reading his brain about the parking lot, who it was owned by, and with whom he was discussing the matter. He also said after I got up he sprawled out over the whole bed so even if I came back I wouldn’t have a place to sleep, nyeh! Yup, that sounds like the rational thoughts of a fully functioning awake mind. Sure. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/10 "2005-04-04T19:52:42Z")
Just for completeness sake–Bird Man said he was pissed last night. He was more sheepish than angry this morning. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/11 "2005-04-04T19:58:30Z")
When Mrs. Lacha (Then Ms. Lacha) & I first moved in together, I was awoken by a firm slap upside my head. I had been having a dream that was like a TV movie - I was accused of arson, and had a husband-and-wife team of lawyers defending me. Their names were Larry & Beth, and even Larry had his doubts about my innocence. Apparently, in my sleep I had said quite clearly, “Oh, Beth! You’re the only one I can trust now, and the only one who believes in me!” Unfortunately, Beth also happened to be the name of a former girlfriend… ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/12 "2005-04-04T20:07:09Z")
I did the most romantic thing possible for mrs danalan once – I saved her life. At least, that’s the way I look at it. She just remembers being pushed out of bed at 3:00am while I shouted “Watch out for the tires!” Ever since then, if I talk in my sleep, she wakes me up. Usually by punching me… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/13 "2005-04-04T20:43:33Z")
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I love sleep-talking stories. Unfortunately, a terrible lack of SOs means that the only good story I have comes from my brother, back when he was maybe 12 years old or so. At that time, his bedroom shared a wall with our mom’s. She woke up in the middle of the night because she heard him moving around in his room. When she looked in, she saw him kneeling upright on his bed, moving his hands over the wall as if he was searching for something. “Are you looking for something?” she asked. "Yes . . . " “What is it?” " . . . I’m not sure . . . " “Why don’t you go back to bed and we’ll look for it in the morning?” “Ok.” Actually, now that I look at it, that’s not as good a story as the others here. I guess the humor comes in vocal inflection. On the other hand, little Bro did once have a dream wherein I saved him and mom by hitting a pair of burglars over the head with a fire extinguisher. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/14 "2005-04-04T21:00:10Z")
Some years ago, I lived in an apartment on the main drag of my town. One bright sunny Sunday, they had a street fair, right outside my window. At the time, I was part of a _Rocky Horror_ cast, so you can imagine I’d gotten in rather late the night before. Then some joker starts ringing a cowbell directly underneath my bedroom window at _nine-thirty in the morning_. (This is pre-Walken-cowbell-fever, so it wasn’t even potentially funny.) I rolled over, punched my boyfriend right in the face, and said “Shut the fuck up, I’m saving the lobsters.” ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/15 "2005-04-04T21:07:33Z")
I had a roommate in college who had a history of sleep talking, although I only heard her do it once. It was the middle of the semester. It was also the middle of the night. I was having trouble sleeping and was lying in bed contemplating the ceiling. Suddenly, a voice out of the darkness! “The porpoise laughed,” followed by the earthiest chuckle I’d ever heard. “Why did the porpoise laugh?” I asked. Sadly, there was no further answer, only mumbles. I’d still like to know why the porpoise was laughing. ---
**Author:** ![mrklutz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@mrklutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrklutz)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/16 "2005-04-04T21:32:06Z")
Not as funny as many of these, but my ex-wife woke me up one night by flinging the covers off the foot of the bed, sitting up and grabbing her toes. Me: What are you doing? Her: Stretching. (continues to grab toes) Me: Well, go back to sleep Her: Ok. (flops back like a dead fish onto her pillow, sound asleep) Me: (retrieves covers) ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/17 "2005-04-04T21:59:38Z")
Conversation as told by my ex-wife: Ex-Wife: Honey, get up. Time to go to work. Me (In a terrified voice): Please don’t eat me! Ex-Wife: Umm… OK, I won’t eat you just get up. Me (Awake): Huh? ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/18 "2005-04-05T01:43:28Z")
My then boss told us a story once about his then live-in girlfriend, who startled him early one Saturday morning by pawing frantically through the closet shelf insisting, “Fish! It’s just _fish_!” To this day, she has no idea what she meant at the time. Oddly, although I’ve spent at least 15 years of my life with significant others, I’ve never happened to be involved with a sleep-talker, nor to my knowledge have I ever been one. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/19 "2005-04-05T07:54:29Z")
My son was sleeping in my room one night when he suddenly sat bolt upright and said accusingly, “Nikki won’t share!” “Nikki won’t share what?” I asked. “Nikki won’t share that…that…mosquito!” And he flopped over and went back to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2005, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621/20 "2005-04-05T08:11:41Z")
“Metroid Prime isn’t a first person shooter!” my girlfriend exclaimed while I was watching tv. “What?” I replied to her, obviously mistaking her for being awake. “Metroid Prime…isn’t a…first person shooter.” “Okay.” I said as I looked over at her. When I noticed she was asleep, I started cracking up laughing, which woke her up. “What? What are you laughing about?” “Metroid Prime. Apparently it’s not a first person shooter.” She had been having a dream argument with someone who was apparently confused about the nature of Metroid Prime. Yes, my girlfriend is a bit of a geek. So what? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pillow-talk-in-the-twilight-zone/297621.md?page=2)