# Pinochle-Playing Worms **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 22, 2000, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861 "2000-10-22T05:55:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2000, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/1 "2000-10-22T05:55:51Z")
I’ve read bits and pieces of a song containing the lines:\* The worms crawl in, The worms crawl out, The worms play pinochle on your snout.\* From what I can gather, it’s a very bizarre song about death, and what happens thereafter. Although I’m tempted to ask, “How the hell do the worms hold the cards?”, my real question is, “Does anyone know all the lyrics to this song?” Any other information about the song would be appreciated as well. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2000, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/2 "2000-10-22T06:11:22Z")
There’s no ONE set of lyrics to that song. It mutates, depending where you are. The version I learned didn’t have the penochle line, f’rinstance. It’s sun to a tune a lot like the Laurel & Hardy theme - maybe a cross between it and Funeral march of the Marionettes. Anyway, here’s the version I learned: Did you ever think when the hearse went by, That you might be the next to die? They wrap you up in a big white sheet, And bury you down 6 feet deep. The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, In your nose, and out your mouth. \ MMMMMM! And me without my spoon! ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/3 "2000-10-23T23:25:21Z")
The following versions can be found at [this site.](http://www.visualwriter.com/Priest/Novel/hearse.htm) “Don’t you ever laugh as the hearse goes by, For you may be the next to die. They wrap you up in a big white sheet From your head down to your feet. They put you in a big black box And cover you up with dirt and rocks. All goes well for about a week, Then your coffin begins to leak. The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, The worms play pinochle on your snout. They eat your eyes, they eat your nose, They eat the jelly between your toes. A big green worm with rolling eyes Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes. Your stomach turns a slimy green, And pus pours out like whipping cream. You spread it on a slice of bread, And that’s what you eat when you are dead.” " Don’t you laugh as the hearse goes by, for you may be the next to die. The undertaker takes you in, while all your relatives sit and grin. They wrap you up in a big white sheet, and bury you under about six feet deep. Everything’s fine for about a week, and then the casket begins to leak. The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play pinochle on your snout. Your liver turns a ghastly green, and puffs right up like whipping cream. you sop it up with a piece of bread, and that’s what you eat when you are dead. " Apparantly there is a collection of songs…“The Worm Song and Other Tasty Tunes”, collected by Janet Wilson and published by Scholastic Their version as quoted on [this site](http://www.guidezone.skl.com/s5_3.htm) as… "Don’t ever laugh when the hearse goes by Or you may be the next to die Ah-ooo! Ah-ooo! They’ll wrap you up in a clean white sheet And put you down about six feet deep Ah-oo! Ah-ooo! And all goes well for about a week And then your coffin begins to leak Ah-ooo! Ah-ooo! The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out The worms play pinochle on your snout Ah-ooo! Ah-ooo! They eat your eyes, they eat your nose They eat the jelly between your toes Ah-ooo! Ah-ooo! They eat your clothes, they eat your hat They crawl in skinny, then they crawl out fat Ah-ooo! Ah-ooo! Then you turn disgustingly green Your skin as slimy as whipping cream Ah-ooo! Ah-ooo! So next time you see the hearse go by Watch out! You may be the next (pause) To (pause) Die! " ---
**Author:** ![yabob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yabob/32/2821_2.png) [@yabob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yabob)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2000, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/4 "2000-10-23T23:41:50Z")
One curious thing is that the bit about pinochle seems to stick in most people’s memory in spite of the grosser images in the other lines. Even though when you learn it as a little kid you probably have no idea what “pee-knuckle” is, or that it is spelled “pinochle”. Probably has something to do with the effect the “pee” in the phonetics has on the grade school mind. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/5 "2000-10-24T00:02:58Z")
I had hear it essentially as **funeefarmer** ’s first version, but without the two lines about the eyes, nose, and toejam. And yes, I did know (vaguely) what pinochle was when I first heard it. The one that ends with the line “And hear I am without a fork and spoon” is a completely different song, starting with “Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts”. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the rest. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2000, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/6 "2000-10-24T00:32:55Z")
And then there’s the dirge-like version by the Pogues: The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out The ones that go in are lean and thin The ones that crawl out are fat and stout Your eyes fall in and your teeth fall out Be merry, my friends, be merry! ---
**Author:** ![Boots](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@Boots](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boots)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2000, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/7 "2000-10-25T23:32:03Z")
I always thought the sheet was bloody, not clean [and] white. But that’s a minor detail. And the one that starts “great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts,” goes on to say “mutilated monkey nuts,” but I don’t know what comes next… ---
**Author:** ![sheerah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8baadc/32.png) [@sheerah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sheerah)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2000, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/8 "2000-10-26T00:15:52Z")
I’ve been sitting here for the better part of half an hour trying to remember the words to that damned song and I finally got it----at least our variation of it from childhood. Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts Mashed up birdie beaks Mutilated monkey’s feet French fried eyeballs running down the bloody street and I don’t have a spoon. There, I feel much better now. ---
**Author:** ![VitrolicBump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a587f6/32.png) [@VitrolicBump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VitrolicBump)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/9 "2011-09-01T03:17:20Z")
I have to bring this back from the crypt. I was just thinking of this song the other day. I need to know other versions out there. The rest of the song is bothering me! I need to know the rest because my mom and I can only get to the worms playing pinochle on/in the snout. 😕 Drives me nuts. (Yes, we are quite a morbid crew…) ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/10 "2011-09-01T03:37:37Z")
Ha-ha, just the other day I was reciting “the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play pinochle on your snout” to a friend and grossing her out. Now I can send her the rest \. ---
**Author:** ![VitrolicBump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a587f6/32.png) [@VitrolicBump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VitrolicBump)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/11 "2011-09-01T03:48:23Z")
Anyone else have morbid kid songs? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/12 "2011-09-01T17:28:38Z")
Since someone has already re-animated this and since the links given upthread are dead, I hope it’s okay to add this. The worms/pinochle ditty is sung to the tune of _Marche funèbre d’une marionnette_ (“Funeral March of a Marionette”). Words by G. Price and J. Ker Mary, music by Charles Gounod. The music was also used as the theme for the television series _Alfred Hitchcock Presents_ (1955). ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/13 "2011-09-01T18:05:47Z")
Nothing makes me want to check my snout for impending worms quite like reading an 11-year-old post of mine. I still want to know how they hold the damn cards. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2011, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/14 "2011-09-02T03:54:29Z")
I thought it was _piccolo_. Not that that makes any more sense, I know… ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2011, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/15 "2011-09-02T04:45:40Z")
The folks I’ve played pinochle against were drunken Wisconsin cheeseheads and noted it was just another bidding game and wondered why my wife didn’t get us into a Bridge club, until I realized that statements like, “A chimp would’ve taken that trick,” was likely to limit our social horizons to the lower chordata. Or between each other. 😉 Which it would. I mean, did you see the biddy Mrs Ratty played? There’ll be hell to play, if Ratty ever made it home. And since Mrs Toad left him (for obvious reasons), Toad has visited a sports car dealership and has a new amphibi-friend. Surprisingly female, for now, but this can change with amphibians. That might not’ve made it into the books. ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2011, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/16 "2011-09-02T15:59:00Z")
We always used to sing “The ants play pinochle on your snout.” ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pinochle-playing-worms/37861/17 "2011-09-03T04:47:40Z")
> [@Toucanna](#): > > Since someone has already re-animated this and since the links given upthread are dead, I hope it’s okay to add this. > > The worms/pinochle ditty is sung to the tune of _Marche funèbre d’une marionnette_ (“Funeral March of a Marionette”). Words by G. Price and J. Ker Mary, music by Charles Gounod. The music was also used as the theme for the television series _Alfred Hitchcock Presents_ (1955). Unfortunately, the “worms” tune is nothing like the Gounod piece. It is, as already noted, similar to, but clearly not the same as, the Laurel and Hardy theme. Search turns up a number of threads on the subject.