# Pipelayers jokes and saying ...you got any? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 26, 2017, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863 "2017-10-26T02:11:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sknoor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f05b48/32.png) [@Sknoor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sknoor)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/1 "2017-10-26T02:11:51Z")
Pipelayers jokes …whatcha Got? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/2 "2017-10-26T02:24:08Z")
I got that you’re in the wrong forum. I’ll let the GQ mods know so they can move it. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/3 "2017-10-26T02:36:47Z")
Righty-tighty. Lefty-loosey ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/4 "2017-10-26T02:40:35Z")
Moved to IMHO from General Questions. **samclem** , moderator. ---
**Author:** ![zuer-coli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ba9def/32.png) [@zuer-coli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zuer-coli)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/5 "2017-10-26T02:45:21Z")
I was a licensed plumber and most of their jokes were so scatological as to be… well unsuitable for this board. Plumbers know how to lay a straight pipe, might not be SFW, probably has a very similar construction among Pipelayers. As Pipelayers mostly lay sewerpipe, it would be amazing if things scatological would be absent for their conversations. Zuer-coli ---
**Author:** ![Ispolkom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47774/32.png) [@Ispolkom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ispolkom)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/6 "2017-10-26T02:48:44Z")
Steve Martin[plumber joke.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX27AfOEYGc) ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/7 "2017-10-26T02:49:45Z")
Sure. Heard in 1964. Three pipelayers talking about the sexiest woman alive. First pipelayer–“Gina Lollobridgida.” Second pipelayer–Sophia Loren, for sure." Third pipelayer-“Virginia Pipilini.” “Who’s she and why is she sexy?” asks the first two. Third shows them the newspaper which has headline “200 men lay Virginia Pipeline.” Hey! I didn’t say it was good. How many pipelayer jokes can there be? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/8 "2017-10-26T02:50:05Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/3x1RTsIbqv8/hqdefault.jpg "David Wilcox - Layin' Pipe") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3x1RTsIbqv8) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/9 "2017-10-26T11:38:13Z")
What do pipe layers and walruses have in common? The both love a good, tight seal. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/10 "2017-10-26T12:29:15Z")
What do you need to know to be a plumber? How to make the shit run downhill. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/11 "2017-10-26T18:22:56Z")
Why are pipeplayers always marching somewhere? They’re trying to get away from the noise. ETA: ah, misread title - never mind, I’ll let it stand! ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2017, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/12 "2017-10-26T23:45:25Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > Sure. Heard in 1964. . . . That joke is my single best memory of my ex-brother-in-law! ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/13 "2017-10-27T09:57:41Z")
Got a pipeliner (not -layer) joke, but I have to explain a little first. I worked on a semi-submersible laying large pipelines on the ocean floor (large, as in you could walk through them). The pipes were made in 40 foot lengths, each referred as a “joint” of pipe. Each length had a concrete layer around it except for the ends. After welding, the uncovered section had to be coated with a layer of asphalt called “dope” by the deckhands. So the joke: “You’ll love working here… the joints are 40 feet long, and the dope comes in 55 gallon drums.” Maybe you had to be there. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/14 "2017-10-27T14:05:29Z")
Nah, I got it. Found a can of plumbing dope once (in some random location where you wouldn’t expect to find a can of plumbing dope) and the instructions on the side were the funniest unintentional stoner/plumber _double entendres_ I’d ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/15 "2017-10-27T16:37:39Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > Got a pipeliner (not -layer) joke, but I have to explain a little first. > > I worked on a semi-submersible laying large pipelines on the ocean floor (large, as in you could walk through them). The pipes were made in 40 foot lengths, each referred as a “joint” of pipe. Each length had a concrete layer around it except for the ends. After welding, the uncovered section had to be coated with a layer of asphalt called “dope” by the deckhands. > > So the joke: “You’ll love working here… the joints are 40 feet long, and the dope comes in 55 gallon drums.” > > Maybe you had to be there. :rolleyes: That needed to be part of a Cheech and Chong routine. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Philliam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/philliam/32/3011_2.png) [@Philliam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philliam)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/16 "2017-10-27T19:45:59Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > Got a pipeliner (not -layer) joke, but I have to explain a little first. > > I worked on a semi-submersible laying large pipelines on the ocean floor (large, as in you could walk through them). The pipes were made in 40 foot lengths, each referred as a “joint” of pipe. Each length had a concrete layer around it except for the ends. After welding, the uncovered section had to be coated with a layer of asphalt called “dope” by the deckhands. > > So the joke: “You’ll love working here… the joints are 40 feet long, and the dope comes in 55 gallon drums.” > > Maybe you had to be there. :rolleyes: Been there, done that, got the T-shirt on the old Brown & Root Barge 347. As a young Marine Surveyor from the Pacific Northwest complete with long hair and beard, an assignment to the 347 was a trip. Tower hands said “Whoa man, when Kenny Ward (Barge Super.) lays eyes on you, he gon’ run you off, no shit”. Somehow, most likely due to some slick night-time barge positioning, I got in that ol’ Mississippi redneck’s good graces, so forever after when survey crews were assembled he’d say “I want that Hippie on my barge”. Such was life in the Oil Patch. ---
**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2017, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/17 "2017-10-27T20:42:34Z")
Just don’t ask me to come down there. ---
**Author:** ![zuer-coli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ba9def/32.png) [@zuer-coli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zuer-coli)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2017, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/18 "2017-10-28T01:04:31Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > What do you need to know to be a plumber? > > How to make the shit run downhill. This how it went in these parts: “What do you need to know to be a Plumber?” “Shit goes down hill, cold is on the right, hot is on the left and payday is on Friday.” On occasion you might hear “flows” instead of “goes”. You might hear the order of hot and cold reversed, but the payday part is always on the end. Well, anyway in this small patch of Northern Indiana. Zuer-coli [Indiana licensed Plumbing Contractor, not that means anything other than I passed the test.] ---
**Author:** ![zuer-coli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ba9def/32.png) [@zuer-coli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zuer-coli)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2017, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/19 "2017-10-28T01:17:05Z")
All, Here are some starting points: Short pieces of pipe are known as “Nipples”. Threaded fittings [used to change direction or provide a branch] almost always have at least one “Female” opening. The action of threading a nipple into a fitting is sometimes referred to as “screwing”. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2017, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863/20 "2017-10-28T01:38:39Z")
With management as well as with pipelaying: Shit flows downhill – unless there’s enough pressure. (Why, yes, I went to college to learn that.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pipelayers-jokes-and-saying-you-got-any/799863.md?page=2)