# Pirate brutally attacks defenseless Sausage **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 10, 2003, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458 "2003-07-10T13:48:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/61 "2003-07-11T13:51:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Munch \* > \*\*She’s back!! > > But more importantly, not mentioned in the OP is the more egregious crime committed by the Pirates last night - they were wearing their 70s unis. Those horrid, “the light, the light!” bright yellow with black pin stripe uniforms. \*\* They’re ugly, to be sure, but they will always be connected in my mind to the era of the City of Champions. They used to win in those uniforms. Stargell batted .400 in the '79 Series wearing that uniform. I just can’t bring myself to hate them. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/62 "2003-07-11T14:02:47Z")
The girl today said she found the whole situation funny and blown out of proportion and also said she wasn’t hurt, got to meet Randall Simon and he’s giving her the bat he hit her with, autographed of course. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/63 "2003-07-11T14:04:27Z")
If a story I read some time ago in the Wall Street Journal is any guide, this type of incident is depressingly common for anyone who puts on a body costume and works as a sports mascot or amusement park walk-around. Pinheads–and these are usually adults, not children–see the costume and they forget that there’s an actual normal human being inside and that the body suit makes them more vulnerable to injury, not less. I mean, you can’t hurt Daffy Duck by punching him in the groin, right? Or poking him from behind with a stick? After all, Sylvester does worse things than that in the cartoons all the time. So Simon’s crime is not maliciousness and intent to injure, but simply all-too-common terminal stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/64 "2003-07-11T15:56:32Z")
My remark was a little tongue in cheek, but I know we bet on everything at ball games. Our favorite is if the ball will end up on the grass or mound at the end of the half inning. That people would bet on the sausage race is no surprise, just think of how mad the people were who had the Italian sausage! Or that their “horse” would stop to render aid… what a wienie!! But the Braut won!! I hope he had enough bet on it to cover his fine. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/65 "2003-07-11T15:58:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LordVor \* > \*\*You think you’re kidding, but much money changes hands in Miller Park after the sausage race. > > BTW: the results are in from the prosecuters: disorderly conduct, $432 fine. Sounds about right. > > -lv \*\* Sorry, my post above was in reply to this post… ---
**Author:** ![Riboflavin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Riboflavin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riboflavin)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/66 "2003-07-11T16:07:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SanibelMan \* > \*\*After she got back up, was she able to catsup to the other runners? \*\* Unfortunately no, but just imagine it. What if she _mustered_ her reserves, and got back in the race to _catch up_ with the other tunners to come in first _on yon_der end of the course! While I would _relish_ the memory of seeing such a thing, I’m afraid the attack may have a _chilli_ng effect on future races. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/67 "2003-07-11T16:14:56Z")
Pittsburg’s in San Diego the 29th through 31st. I for one will look forward to three days of chicken choking. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/68 "2003-07-11T18:08:01Z")
Any of you people ever actually BEEN to a Brewers’ game? They throw peanut shells at each other in the stands! There’s food everywhere, some of it consumed and some just for props. Large quantities of beer are involved, beginning in the parking lot before the festivities are underway. There used to be a water slide that some chick would go down if they scored a home run (never saw that happen myself). And then there’s the chicken dance. It’s a wonder the meat doesn’t get beat every game! Personally I thought the video was hysterical, but only because no one involved was actually hurt or particularly upset about it. Seems like Simons ought to make some personal amends, which apparently he has (though one wonders at the value of his autograph). ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/69 "2003-07-11T18:48:00Z")
Thank heavens she wasn’t hit on the buns. ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/70 "2003-07-11T18:53:12Z")
Thank heavens she wasn’t hit on the buns. ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/71 "2003-07-12T03:45:45Z")
[PETA Defends Ball Player Who Hit Sausage](http://www.jewishworldreview.com/0703/scrappleface.html) ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/72 "2003-07-12T03:59:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jklann \* > **If a story I read some time ago in the Wall Street Journal is any guide, this type of incident is depressingly common for anyone who puts on a body costume and works as a sports mascot or amusement park walk-around. Pinheads–and these are usually adults, not children–see the costume and they forget that there’s an actual normal human being inside and that the body suit makes them more vulnerable to injury, not less.** “Hey! Those are the guys that didn’t like our capering! When you get to hell, tell 'em Itchy sent you!” /Simpsons ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/73 "2003-07-12T05:42:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NutWrench \* > \*\*I’m just glad she wasn’t knocked worse. > \*\* This is no laughing matter! It was a WURST case scenario! ---
**Author:** ![Linear\_Crack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Linear\_Crack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linear_Crack)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/74 "2003-07-12T05:52:20Z")
Who was the _wiener_ of the _meat_? -LC ---
**Author:** ![Coriolanus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coriolanus/32/18769_2.png) [@Coriolanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coriolanus)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/75 "2003-07-12T07:25:04Z")
Sausage-gate is almost over: [Pirates’ Simon Suspended for Hitting Sausage Mascot](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=578&ncid=578&e=10&u=/nm/20030712/ts_nm/nl_simon_dc) Three game suspension! But he’ll play Sunday in Houston. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/76 "2003-07-12T15:40:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by december \* > \*\*[PETA Defends Ball Player Who Hit Sausage](http://www.jewishworldreview.com/0703/scrappleface.html) \*\* PETA…ha. From now on, who ever donates money to these clowns has got to be… never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Skillet38](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Skillet38](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skillet38)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/77 "2003-07-12T19:10:55Z")
hmmmmmmm Simon. Doesn’t sound German, but he sure acted like a sour kraut ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/78 "2003-07-12T19:14:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by whuckfistle \* > \*\*PETA…ha. From now on, who ever donates money to these clowns has got to be… never mind. \*\* I hate to defend PETA, but that was a parody. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/79 "2003-07-12T19:27:00Z")
Link? ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/80 "2003-07-12T19:34:06Z")
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