# Pirate brutally attacks defenseless Sausage

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [July 10, 2003, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458 "2003-07-10T13:48:59Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\
**Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/81 "2003-07-12T19:52:44Z")

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Thanks, but I meant _sausage_ link… 🙂

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**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\
**Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/82 "2003-07-13T00:02:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Marine\_One \*  
> \*\*Thank heavens she wasn’t hit on the buns. \*\*

He may be a real jerky, but I don’t think she has much of a beef with him. Maybe those two can meat later and he can pork her.  
Ugh! Never have I sausage bad jokes in one thread.

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**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\
**Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/83 "2003-07-13T05:40:18Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by lieu \*  
> \*\*Finally, a story that provides it’s own link. \*\*

Ouch. I never sausage an awful pun.

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**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\
**Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirate-brutally-attacks-defenseless-sausage/187458/84 "2003-07-13T18:24:17Z")

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Don’t be so quick on the PETA parody bit kids…

[And AWAY we go…](http://www.peta.org/news/NewsItem.asp?id=2600)

> [@](#):
>
> PETA has written to Milwaukee Brewers President Wendy Selig-Prieb, renewing its request that a fifth contestant be entered in Miller Park’s famous “Sausage Race” in light of the recent incident in which Pittsburgh Pirate Randall Simon attacked the “Italian Sausage” with a baseball bat. Traditionally, four participants dressed to represent various meat sausages race from the outfield to home plate, and last year, PETA requested that a vegetarian “soysage” be included in the race. Now, PETA recommends that, in order to set a nonviolent example to offset the recent brawls and “beanings” in MLB, the Brewers should field a Sausage Race participant that does not represent the violence inherent in meat production, which includes castration, debeaking, dehorning, and throat-slitting.

…

> [@](#):
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> “Violence is violence, whether it’s toward ‘sausages’ or living animals,” says PETA’s Sports Campaign coordinator, Dan Shannon. “Putting a veggie dog in the Sausage Race would help stop the violence and make animals ‘safe’ in the baseball world.”

PETA veggie dog in the race?

Give **me** the baseball bat.

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