# Pirates **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 28, 2003, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045 "2003-05-28T16:12:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/21 "2003-05-28T19:12:08Z")
Funny that I was talking about pirates just last week with my lawyer friends. Seems that here in Canada there’s a massive penalty for piracy (along with “Alarming her Majesty” and other fun-sounding things). It must be because it’s so fun and easy that the temptation to … er … pirate is overwhelming. I’m half tempted to try it myself, except I don’t want to go to jail for life. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/22 "2003-05-28T19:15:03Z")
Thank ye, DeVena! Arrrr! I’m home again! Ah, to be buckling swashes on the high seas! The salt air, the parrots, the broadsides, the wenches, the booty, the unbuckling of swashes… (Realizes the last few things could lead down some rather interresting roads…) ARRR! Gimmie me eyepatch and me cutlass! Who’s out to help me pillage a costal town? ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/23 "2003-05-28T19:15:08Z")
I’m working on a screenplay, working title Ninjas vs. Pirates. I’m fighting with my cowriter over which side should win in the end. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/24 "2003-05-28T19:16:33Z")
Oh! And I’ve visited the grave of a pirate! Jean Lafitte, down in New Orleans. ---
**Author:** ![OldBroad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@OldBroad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldBroad)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/25 "2003-05-28T19:16:50Z")
And then there are pirates: [http://www.noonsite.com/Members/doina/R2003-05-01-3/view](http://www.noonsite.com/Members/doina/R2003-05-01-3/view) A real problem for sailors in some parts of the seas. When we weigh anchor there are definitely some place we’ll avoid. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/26 "2003-05-28T19:17:21Z")
Where are your buccaneers? Under me buckin’ hat! I crack me up… ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/27 "2003-05-28T19:21:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by racinchikki \* > \*\*I’m working on a screenplay, working title Ninjas vs. Pirates. > > I’m fighting with my cowriter over which side should win in the end. \*\* Pirates, hands down. What in the world could a ninja do that would even slow down a pirate? Arrhhh! _cough_ If this thread were a movie, what would it be rated? _swashes some buckles_ ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/28 "2003-05-28T19:22:40Z")
This MIDI file always gets me in a jolly pirate mood: [Sailor’s Hornpipe](http://wilstar.net/midi/sailpipe.htm) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/29 "2003-05-28T19:22:57Z")
[yarr!](http://195.149.21.55/yarr.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/30 "2003-05-28T19:30:40Z")
So Capt. Smithee and his first mate are walking the deck when a swabbie yells from the bird’s nest: “One pirate ship on the port side!” Capt. Smithee yells to his porter: “Bring me my red shirt!”. The pirate ship arrives, attacks, and Capt. Smithee and his crew soundly defeat the attackers. The next day, a cry is yelled from the bird’s nest: “Two pirate ships approach on the starboard side!” Capt. Smithee yells to his porter: “Bring me my red shirt!” He changes shirts, the pirates attack, and Smithee et al. defeat them. Later in the week, Capt. Smith and his first mate hear: “5 pirates ships approach on the port side!” The same sequence of events takes place - red shirt, pirates attack, pirates get killed. That night, the first mate approachs Capt. Smithee and asks him: “Captain, every time we’re attacked, you call for someone to bring your red shirt to you, and every time we emerge victorious. What sort of lucky properties does this shirt have?” Capt. Smithee responds: “It’s not the shirt that is lucky. It’s that if I were to get injured in battle, none of my crew would see me bleeding, and sustain their attack. If they see me bleed, they lose hope.” A week later, the guy in the bird’s nest screams out: “Ten pirate ships approach dead ahead!!!” Capt. Smithee turns to his first mate and says: “Bring me my brown pants.” ---
**Author:** ![NE\_Texan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e99b99/32.png) [@NE\_Texan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NE_Texan)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/31 "2003-05-28T19:31:31Z")
_On Stranger Tides_ by Tim Powers is a great pirate fantasy. It’s got blackbeard, zombie pirates, voodoo, and sea battles - what more could you ask for? (I’m going to have to go find my copy of that again, since this thread reminded me of it.) Anyone else liked this book? ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/32 "2003-05-28T19:32:31Z")
Always remember: Pillage, **then** burn. ---
**Author:** ![Jonno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f19dbf/32.png) [@Jonno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonno)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/33 "2003-05-28T19:35:07Z")
I want to sing and dance. I want to sing and dance. I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance… What? ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/34 "2003-05-28T19:46:21Z")
Why couldn’t the kids get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated _Arrrrrrrrr_! ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/35 "2003-05-28T19:58:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NE Texan \* > \*\*_On Stranger Tides_ by Tim Powers is a great pirate fantasy. It’s got blackbeard, zombie pirates, voodoo, and sea battles - what more could you ask for? (I’m going to have to go find my copy of that again, since this thread reminded me of it.) Anyone else liked this book? \*\* O\_o Why have I never heard of this book?! Tim Powers is my god. And it’s about pirates! Yargh! ---
**Author:** ![NE\_Texan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e99b99/32.png) [@NE\_Texan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NE_Texan)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/36 "2003-05-28T20:06:49Z")
You may have to check used book stores for it; I don’t know that it’s still in print. ---
**Author:** ![NE\_Texan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e99b99/32.png) [@NE\_Texan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NE_Texan)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/37 "2003-05-28T20:08:08Z")
[hijacked by pirates]And I just started Powers’s _The Drawing of the Dark_, which is off to a good start. Not about pirates, though.\* ---
**Author:** ![NE\_Texan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e99b99/32.png) [@NE\_Texan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NE_Texan)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/38 "2003-05-28T20:09:55Z")
[sub]Apparently, coded by pirates as well. :rolleyes:[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/39 "2003-05-28T20:11:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by slortar \* > [BWith cat-like tread, > Upon our prey we steal; > In silence dread, > Our cautious way we feel! > \*\* _I can’t hear you!_ Come, friends, who plough the seas. Truce to navigation – take another station. Let’s vary piracy With a little burglaree! Here’s your crowbar, and your center-bit. Your ‘life preserver’ – you may want to hit. Your silent matches, your dark lantern seize. Take your file, and your skeletonic keys. (Repeat chorus, _fortissimo_.) ---
**Author:** ![Wartime\_Consigliori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@Wartime\_Consigliori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wartime_Consigliori)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045/40 "2003-05-28T20:12:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gallows fodder \* > \*\*They’ve got the skeletal remains of a pirate who drowned in the wreck of the _Whydah_ in a tank full of water in the middle of the exhibit. \*\* Big F-ing deal, landlubber. I got the same thing in my fish tank here at the house. He even bubbles! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pirates/178045.md?page=3)