# Pit Threads Guaranteed To Backfire **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 24, 2007, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838 "2007-08-24T22:29:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/81 "2007-08-26T11:53:25Z")
Ooh, that reminds me of one from several years ago that didn’t start in the pit, something like: \*\*I can’t get over how handsome Osama bin Ladin is \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/82 "2007-08-26T12:15:40Z")
\*\*I have half an hour for lunch. The guy in the ambulance has all the time he needs in the Emergency Room. I am NOT pulling over to get out of the way. How did my girlfriend learn to give such great head by age 7?\*\* ---
**Author:** ![BunnyTVS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BunnyTVS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyTVS)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/83 "2007-08-26T15:19:13Z")
\*\*Why the hell was I arrested? The sheep never complained! Goddamn ungrateful employees. Don’t they realise paying them minimum wage cuts into my profits? My girlfriend gets mad at me watching porn while we’re going at it. How else can I show her what she’s doing wrong without hurting her feelings?\*\* ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/84 "2007-08-26T15:44:38Z")
**I Pit the stupid C** t who greets me at Wal-Mart\*\* **Burning crosses should be protected speech** (began in GD and moved to the Pit) **Fags and dykes should be allowed in the Army** SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/85 "2007-08-26T16:11:38Z")
**All you bitches are just jealous because I’m so pretty** ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/86 "2007-08-27T00:43:02Z")
**Dammit! She said she was sixteen!** **STFU! Scientology Rocks!** ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/87 "2007-08-27T01:16:17Z")
**The effing warez website that installed spyware on my PC** **The effing porn website that installed spyware on my PC** **A-hole sold me fake drugs!** **I pit the neighbor that keeps cutting my cable tap** **My Wiccan coworker is going to hell for worshipping satan** **Bitch ain’t putting out must be gay** **D&D/ Magic the Gathering/ Harry Potter are the work of the devil** ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/88 "2007-08-27T02:05:34Z")
**The explosive sound from my car’s exhaust pipe.**. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/89 "2007-08-27T02:15:16Z")
\*\*My cat’s tongue was too abrasive on my penis, so I sanded it smooth. Thank you, George Bush, for protecting America from terrorists and Democrats, but I repeat myself. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/90 "2007-08-27T02:19:00Z")
**Dammit, Boyo Jim, I _liked_ the way your cat’s tongue felt on my penis!** ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/91 "2007-08-27T02:24:09Z")
[QUOTE=Thudlow Boink] **Dammit, Boyo Jim, I _liked_ the way your cat’s tongue felt on my penis!** [/QUOTE] **That cat ho’s been CHEATIN’ on me!** ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/92 "2007-08-27T02:53:42Z")
**Fat, ugly people need to stay out of my sight** **Computer geeks are soooooo obnoxious** **My mom tried to stop me from drinking just 'cause I’m twelve!** ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/93 "2007-08-27T10:36:13Z")
**If yer only going 10 over the speed limit, yer damn right I’m gonna tailgate ya** **I pit parents who don’t give into their kids tantrums!** **Wye cunt we orl just spel how we fil lik?** ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/94 "2007-08-27T11:48:20Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] **That cat ho’s been CHEATIN’ on me!** [/QUOTE] **That cat don’t love you!** ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/95 "2007-08-27T20:44:27Z")
**My cat claims to love me, but licks other men’s junk.** ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/96 "2007-08-27T21:03:25Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] **My cat claims to love me, but licks other men’s junk.** [/QUOTE] Declaw the beotch and leave 'er outside for week. Thanks, **Taber**. ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/97 "2007-08-27T21:54:59Z")
**I declawed my cat and left her outside and now I can’t find her!** ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/98 "2007-08-27T22:00:25Z")
**Niggers!** ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/99 "2007-08-27T22:52:43Z")
I PIT SATAN O , The memories. ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838/100 "2007-08-27T23:13:12Z")
**My cheap parents won’t pay for my wedding!** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pit-threads-guaranteed-to-backfire/416838.md?page=6)