# Pitch a Bad Idea for a Children's Book **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 20, 2011, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140 "2011-04-20T21:43:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/41 "2011-04-22T06:31:54Z")
**Freddie the Filthy Little Fuck-Nugget** \* \*Alright, I have no idea what this book is about, but the title’s kinda catchy. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/42 "2011-04-22T07:11:32Z")
_Chat-Room Adventures_ ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/43 "2011-04-22T10:50:02Z")
**Uncle Lou doesn’t pee standing up anymore** A child’s guide to understanding gender reassignment. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/44 "2011-04-22T11:48:32Z")
_Wonderful Thing Are Under The Sink_ ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/45 "2011-04-22T12:15:29Z")
I don’t know where I originally heard this but I can’t top… “Bi-Curious George” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/46 "2011-04-22T12:21:02Z")
_A is for Asshole, B is for Bitch: A child’s guide to swearing and offensive language._ ---
**Author:** ![ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chockfullofheadygoodness/32/511_2.png) [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/47 "2011-04-22T18:31:52Z")
Anne Geddes’ Bukkake Babies Happy To Be White Point and Laugh: A Child’s Guide to Special Peers What Else Can You Fit Up There? ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/48 "2011-04-22T19:44:17Z")
Archie, Betty & Veronica’s Threesome Stuff Rich Kids Have That You Never Will ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/49 "2011-04-22T19:54:12Z")
> [@Long\_Time\_First\_Time](#): > > Spirit: Pitbull Bait Puppy > > This book was actually written and shown to me by a person very dedicated to preventing dog fighting. It chronicles Spirit’s life as he plays happily with his boy, gets kidnapped by gangbangers, and then gets ripped to shreads by pitbulls training for the big fight. It ends with his mangled corpse being found in a dumpster by his original owner. Yes, it was intended for children and was as horrible as it sounds. > > It has not yet found a publisher. All of these posted so far have made me chuckle, except this one, which made me sad. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/50 "2011-04-22T20:21:03Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > What Mommy and Daddy do after you go to bed I remember reading a children’s sex ed book (from the public library) that had some rather graphic (& clinical) descriptions all accompanied by anatomically correct cartoons. Of both sexes, all body types, from infancy to old age. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/51 "2011-04-22T20:23:10Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > I remember reading a children’s sex ed book (from the public library) that had some rather graphic (& clinical) descriptions all accompanied by anatomically correct cartoons. Of both sexes, all body types, from infancy to old age. Would that be _It’s Perfectly Normal_? My old gf has some amusing tales of that volume growing up. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/52 "2011-04-22T20:30:13Z")
Mr. Stabby and his Knife Drawer Friends ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/53 "2011-04-22T20:32:37Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > All of these posted so far have made me chuckle, except this one, which made me sad. On the old Lou Grant show there was an episode about dog fighting in which Lou’s boss, the lady who owned the paper he worked for, had her little Yorkie dognapped. It was never found, and was presumed killed, but in looking for it the ugly world of dog fighting was exposed(I’m looking at YOU, Michael Vick!:() Of course they had to tack a “happy” ending on, when Lou bought her another Yorkie puppy, She refused it but changed her mind and adopted it. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/54 "2011-04-22T20:44:57Z")
_Alex and the Amazing Four Loko Stand_ ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/55 "2011-04-22T20:46:39Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > Would that be _It’s Perfectly Normal_? My old gf has some amusing tales of that volume growing up. Yep. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/56 "2011-04-22T20:53:34Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > Mr. Stabby and his Knife Drawer Friends “Mommy Feels Stabby Today: Where To Hide” ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/57 "2011-04-22T21:11:27Z")
> [@42fish](#): > > Archie, Betty & Veronica’s Threesome Archie, Jughead, Reggie’s and Mr. Dithers’ Foursome How to Become Yoko Ono Become a Superhero by Jumping Off Tall Buildings How to Hug Rabid Animals Setting Yourself on Fire Doesn’t Hurt Vaginal Rashes Can be Cured by Scratching with Broken Glass Strangers Have the Best Candy in Their Trunks ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/58 "2011-04-22T21:54:44Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > Strangers Have the Best Candy in Their Trunks This could be an even \*worse \*idea depending on which definition of “trunks” you go with. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/59 "2011-04-23T06:58:29Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > All of these posted so far have made me chuckle, except this one, which made me sad. I’m obviously deranged because it made me loller hardest. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lshaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e36b37/32.png) [@lshaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lshaw)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140/60 "2011-04-23T12:34:53Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Unauthorized sequels: great untapped market. > > _Fran of Green Gables_- set in modern day at the Green Gables Mall on Prince Edward Island where Fran works at a perfume counter and has wild adventures in her mind due to an allergy to the chemical fusion of the fumes. > > _Little House on the Bayou_- Almanzette, an illegitimate descendant of Laura and Almonzo Wilder, is a little Cajun girl with a pet raccoon named Laurence and a pet gator named Olivier, both of whom help her take care of the spoiled rich bully. Heh, I like both of these. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitch-a-bad-idea-for-a-childrens-book/579140.md?page=4)