# Pitify your username (C'mon, it's fun) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 2, 2001, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905 "2001-07-02T03:08:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/41 "2001-07-02T15:10:54Z")
I’m hurting here. Just **LNO**? Nothing more, nothing less? I guess you could try to say that I’m so dumb I don’t realize that there’s an ‘m’ in ‘l-m-n-o’ in the alphabet. Or maybe it’s pronounced ‘Ellen-O’, and I have a secret desire to be fellated by Ellen Degeneres. Either way, I don’t seem to Pitify very well. ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/42 "2001-07-02T15:35:38Z")
Hm. Cuntalooppi? ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/43 "2001-07-02T15:53:01Z")
Jizzer? I dunno. I’m at a loss. But hey, nobody would wanna flame lil’ old me anyway, right? (And Uke, please tell me you just made that up, and didn’t find it somewhere. It sounds like Dr. Seuss on opium.) ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/44 "2001-07-02T16:02:57Z")
Sorry, it IS Dr. Seuss on opium. See _The Sleep Book,_ 1964. – **Ukulele Jim** ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/45 "2001-07-02T16:17:13Z")
**Jester** , obviously you would be **Pester**! For mee…I dunno… **Sunslime**? ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/46 "2001-07-02T16:36:35Z")
**Turd Werfect** , at your service. And Jester could always be **Fester** ---
**Author:** ![Cleophus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e57/32.png) [@Cleophus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cleophus)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/47 "2001-07-02T18:22:16Z")
**Ukulele Ike** : Ukulele Dyke? **Sunshine** : maybe **Assshine**? Er, too many s’s. How about **Moonshine**? For me, maybe **Cleoputz**. Hmm. That one seems good. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/48 "2001-07-02T18:40:48Z")
I think the insult should be close enough to the poster’s original name that it is obvious who is being referred to, as in " That **Dumbazine** is such a **stumblebum**! Who the **Bumblefuck** does he think he is?" for example: Cleo **pus** , Purd Wer **felch** , **Scum** shine, **U-can’t-lay-me** Ike, **Just-turd** , **Kinda-loopy** , **Hell-No** Hmmm… kinda breaks down at this point, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/49 "2001-07-02T19:25:26Z")
I already get called ‘screech’, a perjorative in itself. Don’t see much else that can be done with my name. ---
**Author:** ![Rock-n-Rolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/22d042/32.png) [@Rock-n-Rolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock-n-Rolga)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/50 "2001-07-02T20:00:10Z")
Mine is already so pitiful in its original form, that changing it would do nothing to increase its inherent pitifulness. I mean, really. You can’t polish a turd. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/51 "2001-07-02T20:19:33Z")
Well, since one of my off-line friends seems to think that my username looks like the name of a “feminine hygiene product”, then I could be **Tampex**. If you are not imaginative at all, I could be **Kotex** or **Playtex** or even **Spandex** or **Latex**. I suppose you could also say **Tamexican** (not sure how that would be an insult, but you never know) or **Wildx**. The more juvenile among us could call me **Lamex**. Hmmm, I could be your **evil bitch Tamex-wife** , or you could sing that “all my **Tamexes** live in Texas” (not that I do, but oh well.) If you just wanted to cheapen my image a little, you could just say **Tvisa**. ---
**Author:** ![DarkPrince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@DarkPrince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkPrince)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/52 "2001-07-03T01:12:10Z")
Oh, gee, this is a toughie, how about…uh…DorkPrince. ---
**Author:** ![choosybeggar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@choosybeggar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choosybeggar)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/53 "2001-07-03T01:50:02Z")
If you wish to convey that I’m a fat bastard, but with a continental flair, then please call me **chubby-blighter** If you view me as a chunky, swollen dickrod, then perhaps **curdybloater** gets the message across nicely? > [@](#): > > **Originally posted bt FireUnderpantsBoobs** > > \*If I’m being sexy, you could call me \*\*Fire Underpants I Want to Touch Your Boobs. \*\*\* Not exactly pit material, but a great idea nonetheless. 😉 > [@](#): > > **Originally posted by Astroboy14** > _Mine is pretty easy: **ASS** troboy!_\*\* I was thinking more along the lines of **Astroglide14** > [@](#): > > \*\*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \*\* > \***Ginger=Cringer? > Whinger?** > > Giving up. Somebody defile me. > \* With pleasure ma’am. How would you feel about **WhinerOfTheBoardth**? > [@](#): > > **Originally posted by Silo** > > _ **Soil?** _ How did **Silo** get banned? > [@](#): > > **Originally posted by celestina** > \*LOL! > Gosh, what a great idea, choosybutthole! > > I know how you feel. I’m not interesting enough to merit a pit thread of my own either, and perhaps that’s a good thing. But in the likelihood that I ever do manage to piss someone off enough for them to take me to this level, how does **celestinka** sound for me? 🙂 \* Or **hellestina** or (for the intellectual pit thread) **dull-a-thinka** > [@](#): > > \*\*Originally posted by Bumbazine \*\* > _I think the insult should be close enough to the poster’s original name that it is obvious who is being referred to, as in " That **Dumbazine** is such a **stumblebum**! Who the **Bumblefuck** does he think he is?"_ It’s like you were made for the pit, **Dumbshitstine** > [@](#): > > **Originally posted by screech-owl** > \*I already get called ‘screech’, a perjorative in itself. Don’t see much else that can be done with my name. > \* But did you ever consider the possibilities of **leech-bowel**? ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/54 "2001-07-03T03:51:38Z")
VivaLoserWages. VivalostWitchAss. SnivelLostWages. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/55 "2001-07-03T04:22:00Z")
Jester - Jizzed Her GingeroftheNorth - FingerupyourNose ChoosyBeggar - JuicyChigger Ukulele Ike - U Look a Little Dike Biggirl - Pigcurl? Figchurl? Digsquirrel? Nope, not really working. Yours as ever, Felcherlou ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/56 "2001-07-03T05:40:59Z")
Someone on the board keeps calling me **cornflak**. I don’t care if they do, but this would be a great time for them to speak up and take the credit that they are due. If that’s not good enough, all I can think of is cornfuck. **Jack@ss** , in redneck jargon, an **@ssJack** is a small pillow kept in a truck that is used to make it easier to have sex in the truck. ---
**Author:** ![Mysphyt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@Mysphyt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mysphyt)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/57 "2001-07-03T06:30:58Z")
Ahem . . . I’m rather easy myself. If the thread concerns my remarkable girth: **Mysfat**. If, in the thread, I’m behaving in a manner that defies my masculinity: **Miss Phyt** These can be naturally combined to form **Miss Fat** If I’m behaving like a stereotypical ghetto skank: **Mysthang** If my behavior is not in question and you’re just looking for a potshot: **Mysspelt** Or, one could capatalize on the “My” beginning and call me: **Mysphincter** **Mysmartass** **Mywordwhatamoron** and so on . . . Similarly, if I say something stupid, the proper retort is “My ass, **Myspit**.” Furthermore, the “Mys” beginning can be rather easily transmuted thusly: **MysterSmartyPants** **Mysinformed** **Mysdirected** **Myssion:Impassable** **Mysanthrope** And my personal favorite, **Myscreant** And as for you, **Rock-N-Vulva,** I beg to differ. ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Crude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Crude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Crude)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/58 "2001-07-03T06:36:30Z")
The best I can manage right now is **Cap’n Crud.** The sad thing is, half the time you dyslexic assclowns spell it that way by accident. Of course, it might not be an accident after all … ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/59 "2001-07-03T06:37:23Z")
Ever since I saw this thread earlier today, I’ve been trying to come up with something. All I can think of is **Atreyuck**. I know. Pathetic. Is this screen name really immune to Pitification? ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Crude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Crude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Crude)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/60 "2001-07-03T06:45:19Z")
Originally posted by some SDMB cumstain: > [@](#): > > And my personal favorite, Myscreant Yeah, **MissCreant** is one of my favorites too. So don’t defile her username with imbecilic, walrus-buggering attempts at making humor out of your own. :wally Have I mentioned that I love threads like this? A little abuse and self-abuse goes a long way. It’s why my forearms are so big. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905.md?page=4)