# Pitify your username (C'mon, it's fun) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 2, 2001, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905 "2001-07-02T03:08:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DMC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dmc/32/18049_2.png) [@DMC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMC)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/61 "2001-07-03T07:06:54Z")
Hard to do mine without resorting to acronyms, so… …if someone fit the description of _blur_ perfectly, I’d call them a blurt. If Tamex reminded me of a former significant other who never stalked me, sabotaged my relationships, was quite civil, etc., I’d call her a Tame-ex. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/62 "2001-07-03T07:11:31Z")
Oh Goddess YES! I love the pain! (in other words do me next!) ---
**Author:** ![Mysphyt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@Mysphyt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mysphyt)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/63 "2001-07-03T07:12:56Z")
I’d like to officially extend apologies to **Miss Creant** , who I didn’t know existed. ---
**Author:** ![Soda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Soda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soda)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/64 "2001-07-03T07:54:12Z")
**Sod**? How very unimaginative. Someone please help me out here… ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Crude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Crude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Crude)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/65 "2001-07-03T15:40:34Z")
Oh c’mon, **Mysphyt,** it’s no fun if you just roll over like that. Get vicious! Slather on the BBQ sauce and fire up the grill! Flame me for my pretentious use of Latin quotes that I only learned from a comic book. Find something better than my (admittedly lame) **Cap’n Crud** pitification and post it in 28-point letters, with links to news reports that my mom sucks cocks in hell instead of vacationing in South Carolina. Poopy-head. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/66 "2001-07-03T15:48:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bumbazine \* > **U-can’t-lay-me Ike** Oh, YEAH? {showing up at your door in my best striped blazer and straw boater, carrying flowers, a five-pound box of chocolates, and a mandolin} ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/67 "2001-07-03T17:05:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cornflakes \* > **If that’s not good enough, all I can think of is cornfuck.** How about **pornspank**? ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/68 "2001-07-03T17:24:48Z")
[giggle] * * * Choosybeggar wrote: Or hellestina or (for the intellectual pit thread)dull-a-thinka * * * Ooh! These are SO cute! 🙂 I really like “hellestina” because I really do like raising hell, and “dull-a-thinka” just makes all giggly. I must commend you, Choosybuttho’ 🙂 on coming up with a really great thread. You’re so creative. What else do you have for me? ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/69 "2001-07-03T18:12:50Z")
I don’t know about how to “pitify” my name (other than “Jeannie Jeannie Eats Zucchini” or “Jeannie Weenie”), but you could use various phrases such as: Hey, **Jeannie** , while you’re at it, why not wish yourself up a brain? or: Hey, go shove that bottle of yours up your ass! or: Next time Major Nelson goes up in the shuttle, tell him to take you with him so you’ll get off our fucking planet. Yes, I know, these are lame. I hereby offer an open invitation to anyone who feels like having fun with my name. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/70 "2001-07-03T20:10:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Atreyu \* > \*\*Ever since I saw this thread earlier today, I’ve been trying to come up with something. > > All I can think of is **Atreyuck**. > > I know. Pathetic. > > Is this screen name really immune to Pitification? \*\* Hi, AtreyUGLY! Just going along with the crowd, 🙂 Viva ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/71 "2001-07-03T20:52:43Z")
Um, Phallus in Dunderland? ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/72 "2001-07-03T21:06:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by choosybeggar \* > It’s like you were made for the pit, **Dumbshitstine** Why, thanks a lot **Chippy Buggerer** > [@](#): > > ]_Originally posted by Ukelele Ike_ > Oh, YEAH? > > {showing up at your door in my best striped blazer and straw boater, carrying flowers, a five-pound box of chocolates, and a mandolin} Have you forgotten, **You-can’t-lay-the-pipe** , that I’m a big, hairy, middle-aged, heterosexual man? Wait a minute. Did you say five **pounds** of chocolate? Well, come on in, and bring your mandolin. I’ve got a [chanter,](http://www.apollosaxes.com/pracchanros.html) (the business end of a bagpipe), maybe we can do a duet. Friend **Atreyu,** I tried man, but all I could come up with was **A Spayed Dude** **Soda,** all I could think of for you was **Scrota** which probably isn’t a real word. Neverless, it’s _something._ For **Kricket,** I thought of **Clit Lick.** Unfortunately, with that thought, my mind started to wander, so the rest of youse guys will have to do each other. ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/73 "2001-07-03T23:13:12Z")
So, just what the fuck is YOUR problem, **Dr. Ass Tick**? There are other possibilities, but that’s the best one off the top of my head. ---
**Author:** ![\_Uigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/e9a140/32.png) [@\_Uigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Uigi)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/74 "2001-07-03T23:17:12Z")
I hijacked my dogs’ (male Italian Greyhound) name … and don’t regret it for a moment. But, I haven’t figured a morph on this one yet; any help? ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2001, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/75 "2001-07-03T23:42:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ‘Uigi \* > \*\*I hijacked my dogs’ (male Italian Greyhound) name … and don’t regret it for a moment. But, I haven’t figured a morph on this one yet; any help? \*\* How about **ugly**? ---
**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/76 "2001-07-04T00:46:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jeannie \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by ‘Uigi \* > > \*\*I hijacked my dogs’ (male Italian Greyhound) name … and don’t regret it for a moment. But, I haven’t figured a morph on this one yet; any help? \*\* > > How about **ugly**? \*\* That’s real nice **Meannie!** ---
**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/77 "2001-07-04T00:48:24Z")
As for me: How about **fuckya** Or **smellya** Or **bitchya** Or **smegma** ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/78 "2001-07-04T02:02:25Z")
I think the best one I’ve heard yet for me is “merfag” I was actually called that once. How about Spermaid–a transvestite mermaid, or even worse spermade a drink that’s best served hot but taste awful no matter what you mix it with. ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/79 "2001-07-04T02:19:10Z")
**Kricket…** erm, yes, Clit Lick came to mind… Lick it? Stick it? Pick it? _grins_ Somebody take mine… ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Crude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Crude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Crude)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905/80 "2001-07-04T06:06:14Z")
Sorry, **Searching For Truth.** The best I can do for you is **Searching For Truth In His Own Asshole.** Actually, I rather like that one … [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitify-your-username-cmon-its-fun/70905.md?page=5)