# Pitting a jury for sending that mother to prison. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 29, 2003, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875 "2003-11-29T06:57:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/1 "2003-11-29T06:57:48Z")
This one is for those heartless bastards in Santa Fe, New Mexico, who convicted [Melissa French,](http://pennlive.com/newsflash/lateststories/index.ssf?/base/national-0/1070070543324671.xml) a 27-year-old mother. Thanks to you, she now faces eighteen years in prison. Eighteen years, you bastards. Do you know what will happen in eighteen years? Well, here is what her attorney says: **French’s attorney, Stephen Aarons, said he was shocked by the jury’s verdict. He said French’s 3-year-old daughter, who suffers from cancer, will be dead and her 10-year-old son will be grown by the time French is released.** Don’t you bastards realize that these children need a mother? How heartless can you be? But no, you had to convict her. Sure, she was involved in trying to arrange the castration of a former boyfriend. So what if she actually enlisted a group of male friends to go over and assault him? Yes, I will concede that they put an assualt rifle in the man’s mouth, fired it between his legs, and carved the word “narc” into his forehead. But let’s not be so judgmental here. Haven’t any of you ever had a real tough breakup? As her lawyer notes, the point here is that you bastards are separating a mother from her children. How are they supposed to get along without her? Who is going to sing them to sleep? Who is going to bandage their scraped knees? Who is going to teach them how to organize a lynch mob? These kids will grow up not knowing how to inflame a bunch of yahoos into terrorizing other people. Isn’t that a part of growing up? ---
**Author:** ![Computer\_Guru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Computer\_Guru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Computer_Guru)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/2 "2003-11-29T07:02:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Satisfying Andy Licious \* > \*\*This one is for those heartless bastards in Santa Fe, New Mexico, who convicted [Melissa French,](http://pennlive.com/newsflash/lateststories/index.ssf?/base/national-0/1070070543324671.xml) a 27-year-old mother. Thanks to you, she now faces eighteen years in prison. Eighteen years, you bastards. Do you know what will happen in eighteen years? Well, here is what her attorney says: > > **French’s attorney, Stephen Aarons, said he was shocked by the jury’s verdict. He said French’s 3-year-old daughter, who suffers from cancer, will be dead and her 10-year-old son will be grown by the time French is released.** > > Don’t you bastards realize that these children need a mother? How heartless can you be? > > But no, you had to convict her. Sure, she was involved in trying to arrange the castration of a former boyfriend. So what if she actually enlisted a group of male friends to go over and assault him? Yes, I will concede that they put an assualt rifle in the man’s mouth, fired it between his legs, and carved the word “narc” into his forehead. But let’s not be so judgmental here. Haven’t any of you ever had a real tough breakup? > > As her lawyer notes, the point here is that you bastards are separating a mother from her children. How are they supposed to get along without her? Who is going to sing them to sleep? Who is going to bandage their scraped knees? Who is going to teach them how to organize a lynch mob? These kids will grow up not knowing how to inflame a bunch of yahoos into terrorizing other people. Isn’t that a part of growing up? \*\* Maybe this woman should have thought about this before she arranged this whole thing. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/3 "2003-11-29T07:06:52Z")
I think that was the OP’s point, **Computer Guru** ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/4 "2003-11-29T07:12:23Z")
yeah, my sarcas-o-meter is beeping, too. However, I have learned that in the pit, one can never be too sure… ---
**Author:** ![7\_up\_yours](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/919ad9/32.png) [@7\_up\_yours](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7_up_yours)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/5 "2003-11-29T07:19:41Z")
You know, a [/scarcasm] or a :rolleyes: would clear it up a whole lot for the slower Dopers. ---
**Author:** ![7\_up\_yours](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/919ad9/32.png) [@7\_up\_yours](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7_up_yours)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/6 "2003-11-29T07:20:45Z")
:smack: That would be sarcasm. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/7 "2003-11-29T07:56:13Z")
I love this: > [@](#): > > Aarons said French had turned down a plea deal that carried a minimum four-year prison sentence. The word that must be going through her mind is…D’oh! ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/8 "2003-11-29T08:38:05Z")
Genius. I love hearing about stories like that, means I’ll never be out of work. ---
**Author:** ![SnoopyFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@SnoopyFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnoopyFan)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/9 "2003-11-29T08:38:26Z")
Great OP! I really thought you were serious until you started talking about lynch mobs. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/10 "2003-11-29T13:07:34Z")
From the article: > [@](#): > > French was acquitted of kidnapping Hamilton, but convicted of kidnapping his roommate, who was held down during the attack. So, if I get this right, she didn’t get convicted of anything directly related to the savage attack she arranged. She gets 18 years because they had to restrain the guy’s roomate during said attack. I guess they weren’t technically kidnapping the victim because they were too busy beating, stabbing and shooting at him. The mind boggles. BTW, great OP! ---
**Author:** ![Computer\_Guru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Computer\_Guru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Computer_Guru)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/11 "2003-11-29T13:14:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pepperlandgirl \* > \*\*I think that was the OP’s point, **Computer Guru** \*\* Yeah, I realized that after I posted that post. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Computer\_Guru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Computer\_Guru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Computer_Guru)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/12 "2003-11-29T13:16:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 7 up yours \* > \*\*:smack: > > That would be sarcasm. > > :smack: \*\* or for those that don’t read the entire post. That’ll teach me. :o ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/13 "2003-11-29T14:35:15Z")
This is as close a real-life example as I’ve seen of the textbook definition of chutzpah (“murdering your parents and begging for mercy because you’re an orphan”). ---
**Author:** ![CloudCar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@CloudCar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CloudCar)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/14 "2003-11-29T18:03:22Z")
Free Melissa French! [sarcasm]I finally have a cause.[/sarcasm] ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/15 "2003-11-30T06:42:27Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by CloudCar \* \*\*Free Melissa French! I’m with you. First thing we need to do is plan a rally. In order to get people to come, we have to offer them something free. I know, you make a bunch of paper hats. About 5000 should do. C’mon, we cannot allow Melissa French to be unjustly incarcerated! ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/16 "2003-11-30T13:29:03Z")
Mmmm…sarcasm pie…\ ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/17 "2003-11-30T13:34:43Z")
Well, obviously the jury, court systems etc, did the RIGHT thing despite the defense attorniey’s silly opinions. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/18 "2003-11-30T17:50:21Z")
For the record, I’ve heard people make this argument before when a woman is about to be sent away. They argue that the children need their mother. Well, children _do_ need _a_ mother. But it occurs to me that the various women who have bilked charities, run drug rings, murdered someone, or set a frenzied mob on an old boyfriend just _might_ not be the best example for the wee tykes. In other words, French’s lawyer deserves far more than one roll-eye. He deserves Ilsa\_Lund’s wonderful, shimmering fountain of rolleyes. ```auto :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: I :rolleyes: I _______________III_______________ / :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: \ ( ~~~:rolleyes:~~~ :rolleyes: ~~~:rolleyes:~~~ :rolleyes: ~~~ ) \SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS/ \ ======================= / \SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS/ ________\ /________ (=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ``` ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/19 "2003-11-30T18:22:55Z")
I am overcome with emotion. ::😭:: ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875/20 "2003-11-30T19:35:04Z")
Well, it is a fairly subtle parody - it’s a ridiculous stance, but otoh, one that many people adopt. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-a-jury-for-sending-that-mother-to-prison/215875.md?page=2)