# Pitting Amateur Barbarian **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 8, 2015, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554 "2015-07-08T08:05:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/181 "2015-07-17T19:00:38Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > Perhaps life is a performance for the Pittee? Meh. “It must be performance art” is such a 2000s explanation. People really _can_ be that insufferably pompous and condescending in real life. But since we’re playing armchair psychologist … my theory is that **AB** is a horribly insecure guy who has overcompensated by creating an elaborate alternate universe in which he’s a world-renowned scholar, a trencherman of regional note, and a [bringer of urbane sophistication to hick towns](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=18465804&postcount=7). ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/182 "2015-07-17T19:17:22Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > Isn’t that a job for a minion? _waves hand airily_ Minions, lackeys, sidekicks - as long as the necessary decapitations are carried out in a timely manner I don’t worry about union rules. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/183 "2015-07-17T21:29:42Z")
> [@erysichthon](#): > > But since we’re playing armchair psychologist … my theory is that **AB** is a horribly insecure guy who has overcompensated by creating an elaborate alternate universe in which he’s a world-renowned scholar, a trencherman of regional note, and a [bringer of urbane sophistication to hick towns](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=18465804&postcount=7). In the bustling metropolis whence I hail - not the Siegel and Schuster Metropolis, haha, although copies of my groundbreaking _opus_ on Nietschze, "\*Man and Superman \*and Superman"are available _gratis_ in the lobby after this symposium - I was a noted _boulevardier_, quite the glass of fashion and the mould of form, and I can firmly assure you that compulsory fedoras will add a much-needed touch of cosmopolitan _je ne sais quoi_ to this Hawthornian hamlet. My epochal dissertation “Haws, Thorns and Hamlets: Some Musings on Hawthorne and Hamlet”, by the by, is also prominently displayed as you seek egress from this feast of reason and flow of soul and hie yourselves to the local hostelry. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/184 "2015-07-17T21:31:31Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > In the bustling metropolis whence I hail - not the Siegel and Schuster Metropolis, haha, although copies of my groundbreaking _opus_ on Nietschze, "\*Man and Superman \*and Superman"are available _gratis_ in the lobby after this symposium - I was a noted _boulevardier_, quite the glass of fashion and the mould of form, and I can firmly assure you that compulsory fedoras will add a much-needed touch of cosmopolitan _je ne sais quoi_ to this Hawthornian hamlet. My epochal dissertation “Haws, Thorns and Hamlets: Some Musings on Hawthorne and Hamlet”, by the by, is also prominently displayed as you seek egress from this feast of reason and flow of soul and hie yourselves to the local hostelry. Socks aren’t allowed on the dope, AB. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/185 "2015-07-17T22:35:35Z")
Fuck New England. Buncha sap-sucking blueberry pickers, if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/186 "2015-07-17T22:42:40Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Fuck New England. Buncha sap-sucking blueberry pickers, if you ask me. That’s all they were until **AB** moved there. Now they are sap-sucking blueberry pickers with a metropolitan sensibility. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/187 "2015-07-18T02:04:00Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Socks aren’t allowed on the dope, AB. Hell, then, what am I supposed to wear with my Birkenstocks and Bermuda shorts? ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/188 "2015-07-18T02:56:33Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > Hell, then, what am I supposed to wear with my Birkenstocks and Bermuda shorts? Wear them with a fedora, a Starfleet tunic and a convention lanyard, and you too could be the epitome of urban sophistication. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/189 "2015-07-18T03:15:08Z")
> [@erysichthon](#): > > That’s all they were until **AB** moved there. Now they are sap-sucking blueberry pickers with a metropolitan sensibility. Fucking crab-muncher. ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/190 "2015-07-18T03:42:06Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > Wear them with a fedora, a Starfleet tunic and a convention lanyard, and you too could be the epitome of urban sophistication. With such stylish accouterments, you’d be quite the raconteur at any convention. Your wit would [generate an extended laugh](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=18478058&postcount=2). ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/191 "2015-07-18T04:58:52Z")
> [@erysichthon](#): > > With such stylish accouterments, you’d be quite the raconteur at any convention. Your wit would [generate an extended laugh](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=18478058&postcount=2). I imagine the programme was something like this: [QUOTE=The Wind In The Willows] …and on the fly-leaf he would set out a sort of a programme of entertainment for the evening— something like this, as he sketched it out in his head:— SPEECH . . . . BY TOAD. (There will be other speeches by TOAD during the evening.) ADDRESS . . . BY TOAD SYNOPSIS— Our Prison System— the Waterways of Old England— Horse-dealing, and how to deal— Property, its rights and its duties— Back to the Land— A Typical English Squire. SONG . . . . BY TOAD. (Composed by himself.) OTHER COMPOSITIONS . BY TOAD will be sung in the course of the evening by the . . . COMPOSER. [/QUOTE] Or, as Rat succinctly put it: > [@](#): > > ‘No, not ONE little song,’ replied the Rat firmly, though his heart bled as he noticed the trembling lip of the poor disappointed Toad. ‘It’s no good, Toady; you know well that your songs are all conceit and boasting and vanity; and your speeches are all self-praise and— and— well, and gross exaggeration and— and——’ > > ‘And gas,’ put in the Badger, in his common way. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/192 "2015-07-18T11:43:24Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > Question for etymologically-minded Dopers: > > Is there a difference between a _sneakbrag_ and a _stage-whisper brag_? You know a stage whisper: you talk adopting a whisper-ish tone while you are projecting to the seats in back 😉 > > Perhaps life is a performance for the Pittee? I haven’t heard the stage-whisper brag but a sneakbrag is more like you pretend you aren’t bragging at all and entice people to ask questions. “Can anyone recommend a coffee shop in Minsk with free wi-fi?” “Ugh ugh ugh writing this speech is killing me.” “I think I just embarrassed myself while having dinner with Neil Gaiman.” I see this a lot on FB/Twitter. What I see on the Dope is more like open bragging while being vague about details so nobody can fact-check. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/193 "2015-07-18T12:04:12Z")
> [@tnetennba](#): > > I haven’t heard the stage-whisper brag but a sneakbrag is more like you pretend you aren’t bragging at all and entice people to ask questions. “Can anyone recommend a coffee shop in Minsk with free wi-fi?” > “Ugh ugh ugh writing this speech is killing me.” > “I think I just embarrassed myself while having dinner with Neil Gaiman.” > > I see this a lot on FB/Twitter. > > What I see on the Dope is more like open bragging while being vague about details so nobody can fact-check. You say this with mere anecdotal evidence. Your FB/Twitter is your cite. Fie upon it! When I solve this pesky software issue, the research I will publish will transform the way Humanity views… …wait; I’ve said too much. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/194 "2015-07-18T12:53:19Z")
I can’t wait until my mistress wakes up (famous actress, quite a stunner, not sure how she ended up with me) so I can shared this page of posts; I know she’ll find it hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/195 "2015-07-18T13:10:36Z")
> [@tnetennba](#): > > I can’t wait until my mistress wakes up (famous actress, quite a stunner, not sure how she ended up with me) so I can shared this page of posts; I know she’ll find it hilarious. I’ll mention it to her. ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/196 "2015-07-18T20:01:46Z")
> [@tnetennba](#): > > I can’t wait until my mistress wakes up (famous actress, quite a stunner, not sure how she ended up with me) so I can shared this page of posts; I know she’ll find it hilarious. Let’s be fair here. Although **AB** loves to brag about stuff, he’s never (to my knowledge) engaged in this particular kind of bragging. He has, however, expressed bafflement about other people’s relationships: > [@If a woman has a past relationship with a black man she's tainted forever. Why?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-a-woman-has-a-past-relationship-with-a-black-man-shes-tainted-forever-why/662743/10): > > Can anyone point to a “first rate” (for lack of a better term) white woman who has publicly dated or married a black man? This may sound incredibly racist, but I sincerely don’t intend it to be. I just can’t think of a white woman who is attractive, self-confident and individually successful who has a black mate. The ones that come to mind are older, unattractive to some degree, have evident personal issues or bring nothing much to the relationship. > [@Dopers that share household expenses: how do you pay for your clothes?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopers-that-share-household-expenses-how-do-you-pay-for-your-clothes/647092/12): > > I guess I’ve never understood how a couple could commit their lives together but want to keep finances separate - barring certain special cases where one person has a known problem with money-handling, or finances need to be kept separate for legal reasons, etc. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/197 "2015-07-18T20:06:17Z")
> [@erysichthon](#): > > Let’s be fair here. Although **AB** loves to brag about stuff, he’s never (to my knowledge) engaged in this particular kind of bragging. > > He has, however, expressed bafflement about other people’s relationships: Oh yes, the infamous “first rate white woman” thread. That and the Nutella thread were the first times I noticed him. He was put into the “first rate idiot asshole” bucket at that point and has never made any attempt to claw his way out. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/198 "2015-07-18T21:54:30Z")
OK, there’s being a pompous self-obsessed buffoon, and then there’s being genuinely vile. Link to the thread? ---
**Author:** ![RobDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f07891/32.png) [@RobDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobDog)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/199 "2015-07-18T22:00:50Z")
> [@erysichthon](#): > > Let’s be fair here. Although **AB** loves to brag about stuff, he’s never (to my knowledge) engaged in this particular kind of bragging… Really? [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=18439585&postcount=5](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=18439585&postcount=5) > [@What's the deal with women only gyms?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/whats-the-deal-with-women-only-gyms/722575/5): > > … I dated a very attractive woman (swimsuit/lingerie model) for a couple of years, and it drove her crazy how perfectly “nice” men in the club would openly stare (often right at her crotch) as she did leg exercises and such… ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554/200 "2015-07-18T22:03:49Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > OK, there’s being a pompous self-obsessed buffoon, and then there’s being genuinely vile. Link to the thread? [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16444813#post16444813](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16444813#post16444813) My favorite part is where he said that he was answering the question posed by the OP of “If a woman has a past relationship with a black man she’s tainted forever. Why?” See, it’s not racism. It’s that such women are skanky. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-amateur-barbarian/724554.md?page=11)