# Pitting Brutus
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [January 19, 2004, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180 "2004-01-19T05:50:03Z")
**Posts on this page:** 19
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2004, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/21 "2004-01-20T07:26:01Z")
> [@FriarTed](#):
>
> I gotta pit Brutus for one thing…
>
> he was your Buddy, man! And you treat Julius like THAT?!?!?! Conspiring with dipshits like Cassius do “save the Republic”? And now many times did you all have to stab him anyway?
>
> F\*cking anti-Imperialists!
Poor Brutus (MJ, not DJ), always getting shafted by history. Try to restore the Republic, and get panned by everyone from Dante’ to Popeye! Anyhoo, _you_ try get appointed governor of Gaul by your ‘friend’ and see how long it is before you stab him in the groin!
---
### Author:  [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2004, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/22 "2004-01-20T08:32:18Z")
> [@](#):
>
> MARLIN: I’ve got to find my son, Brutus! He was last seen in the Pit! Have you seen the Pit?
>
> DORY: Hi there! Who are you looking for?
>
> MARLIN: Brutus… my son! He was in the Pit!
>
> DORY: OK, I saw a Pit! It’s over this way, let’s find little Lupus!
>
> MARLIN: Brutus!
>
> DORY: All right, already! You don’t have to yell…
>
> _DORY begins to hum quietly to herself._
>
> MARLIN: Um…
>
> DORY: Hi!
>
> MARLIN: You saw my son?
>
> DORY: Little Doofus? This way!
>
> MARLIN: _ **BRUTUS!** _
>
> SCHOOL OF FISH: Is this guy bothering you Lady?
>
> DORY: Oh no, he’s a good guy… he’s just looking for his son, Dingus –
>
> MARLIN: Brutus!
>
> DORY: --yes, Loofah… anyway, he was last see in the Pit. Have you seen him?
>
> CRUSH: You’re _there_, dude! _Righteous!_
>
> _Cue Thomas Newman music._
Sorry, it was late and I’ve seen _Finding Nemo_(which I actually like a great deal) once too often in the last few days, thanks to my three-year-old daughter. I’m not actually trying to Pit ol’ **Brutus** , but I couldn’t resist. Carry on with the Pitting.
---
### Author:  [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2004, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/23 "2004-01-20T13:55:37Z")
Well, the OP was pretty lame, but it was pitting Brutus, so it gets points for that.
I’m just disappointed that there wasn’t a decent bandwagon to jump on.
---
### Author:  [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)
#### Post date: [January 20, 2004, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/24 "2004-01-20T17:49:08Z")
> [@gex gex](#):
>
> Well, the OP was pretty lame, but it was pitting Brutus, so it gets points for that.
>
> I’m just disappointed that there wasn’t a decent bandwagon to jump on.
I don’t think there’s a bandwagon of Brutus being an asshat, any more than there is one about water being wet or oral sex being good.
And that makes a bit more sense, Miller. I suppose grumpiness is understandable under such situations.
---
### Author:  [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2004, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/25 "2004-01-21T04:13:15Z")
I dated a girl briefly. There were red flags before this incident. But she got mad at me and hit me. Now I am a 240lb guy, and looking at my handle, which was inspired by my numerous skating accidents, one can accurately assume I am used to taking punishment. I play wrestled a girlfriend when I was younger and accidently gave her a black eye. I feared I lost her, but she was a top notch soccer player, used to worse, and brushed it off.
Back to the girl that hit me. She was about 120lbs, and it only stung a bit. If she really wanted to hurt me she could have gone for the family jewels or the knee-cap. After she hit me, I knew I never wanted to see her again. That is a totally innapropriate way to settle differences.
---
### Author:  [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2004, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/26 "2004-01-21T04:23:18Z")
Og there are some tossers about!
The pit doesn’t give anyone a licence to behave like a shithead as many like to claim.
---
### Author:  [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2004, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/27 "2004-01-21T04:34:54Z")
My above post was meant for another thread. The weird thing, It got posted in both threads simultaneosly. Go figure.
Poetgirl, I know how to handle Brutus. Take a can of spinich and chug it. Then you will briefly have superhuman strength. When you slug him, he will turn into a chopped side of ham.
---
### Author:  [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/28 "2004-01-21T04:40:08Z")
> [@Road Rash](#):
>
> …After she hit me, I knew I never wanted to see her again. That is a totally innapropriate way to settle differences.
> [@Road Rash](#):
>
> …Poetgirl, I know how to handle Brutus. Take a can of spinich and chug it. Then you will briefly have superhuman strength. When you slug him, he will turn into a chopped side of ham.
Hrmmm, one of these things is not like the other…
---
### Author:  [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2004, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/29 "2004-01-21T14:34:38Z")
> [@Road Rash](#):
>
> My above post was meant for another thread. The weird thing, It got posted in both threads simultaneosly. Go figure.
>
> Poetgirl, I know how to handle Brutus. Take a can of spinich and chug it. Then you will briefly have superhuman strength. When you slug him, he will turn into a chopped side of ham.
The scary thing is, this apology is longer than 90% of **Brutus** ’s posts.
---
### Author:  [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2004, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/30 "2004-01-21T20:20:44Z")
I hope they turn the signatures off as a default soon. Having them on as default truly sucks.
It breaks the flow of people insulting each other.
Wonder what “enhanced mode” does? Sounds like some of those spam emails. . .
---
### Author:  [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2004, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/31 "2004-01-21T22:08:45Z")
> [@elf6c](#):
>
> It breaks the flow of people insulting each other.
Dumbass.[sub] ~~[/sub]
---
### Author:  [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2004, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/32 "2004-01-22T00:07:08Z")
> [@Giraffe](#):
>
> Dumbass.[sub] ~~[/sub]
Scumsuckingmotherfucker.
---
### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/33 "2004-01-22T04:40:39Z")
dorkusmalorkus
---
### Author:  [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2004, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/34 "2004-01-22T04:50:16Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#):
>
> dorkusmalorkus
poopooeaterstinkybreath.
---
### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2004, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/35 "2004-01-22T04:53:25Z")
> [@Ilsa\_Lund](#):
>
> poopooeaterstinkybreath.
Kurdt!
* * *
---
### Author:  [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2004, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/36 "2004-01-22T04:54:42Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#):
>
> Kurdt!
>
> [COLOR=Cyan]-----------
This post has been Graped by THE GRAPIST![/COLOR]
---
### Author:  [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2004, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/37 "2004-01-22T07:19:21Z")
> [@Poetgrrl](#):
>
> I could care less if everyone thinks I’m a stupid moron for taking some silly commercial way too seriously, but there’s no reason to go throwing in arbitrary insults. .
I didn’t see it as an arbitrary insult.
The fact that you made no distinction between the milk commercial and anti-drug ads makes _me_ seriously doubt your poetry writing ability.
But I could be wrong. You may write _bitchin’_ poetry…
---
### Author:  [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2004, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/38 "2004-01-22T13:42:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Ilsa\_Lund_
> This post has been Graped by THE GRAPIST!
😕
…no it hasn’t.
---
### Author:  [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2004, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-brutus/225180/39 "2004-01-22T14:29:02Z")
> [@pizzabrat](#):
>
> 😕
>
> …no it hasn’t.
Yes it has. Maybe your browser isn’t set for text colors. Maybe it’s just a pale color. It shows up on mine.
dummyhead.
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