# Pitting Cecil Adams - the putz! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 1, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318 "2003-12-01T19:25:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/1 "2003-12-01T19:25:53Z")
OK, gimme a break here. ``` Is Cecil Adams a real fucking person or not? I mean, we go through the same bullshit thread after thread, but get real people. Either the guy is real or he's not! ``` Every thread: “Conclusive proof that Ed Zotti is Cecil Adams!” and then Dex comes along and mentions what a kick Cecil gets from these threads. Fuck that! The man doesn’t _deserve_ to be a fucking enigma! He’s isn’t a Secret Master of the friggin’ Illuminati! He writes a column! He’s just an intelligent smartass with good research skills, if he’s even real. I am a really intelligent smartass, too; and 'm sure my researching skills are better than his. There are, get this, FORTY THOUSAND PEOPLE here. It is ridiculous for us not to know, and pretend to worship this schmuck. Cecil Adams, if you are real, you are the world’s biggest PUTZ! In fact, here is a volcano of putz’es, just for you: ```auto :p :p :p :p :smack: :smack: :o :o :o :o :o :smack: :smack: :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :smack: :wally :smack: :smack: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :smack: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :( :mad: :mad: :mad: :( :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( ``` ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/2 "2003-12-01T19:32:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ilsa\_Lund \* > \*\* I am a really intelligent smartass, too; and 'm sure my researching skills are better than his. > > There are, get this, > FORTY THOUSAND PEOPLE here. \*\* How big is your fan club? ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/3 "2003-12-01T19:37:33Z")
Most fan clubs are AWARE OF WHETHER OR NOT THE HERO THEY WORSHIP IS A REAL. FUCKING. PERSON! 's a joke anyway, man. ---
**Author:** ![agiantdwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8c91f0/32.png) [@agiantdwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agiantdwarf)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/4 "2003-12-01T19:38:54Z")
The volcano needs some work. ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/5 "2003-12-01T19:40:49Z")
In before the lock! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/6 "2003-12-01T19:42:05Z")
I know if he’s a real person or not. You can too, for $19.95, i take Paypal, money orders, cash (American or Canadian, cuz i like money with beavers on it), but NO CHECKS! ---
**Author:** ![NotMrKnowItAll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/6bbea6/32.png) [@NotMrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotMrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/7 "2003-12-01T19:42:25Z")
I rather like the putz volcano, think I can use it as a sig? (just kidding, mods). ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/8 "2003-12-01T19:43:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I am a really intelligent smartass, too; and 'm sure my researching skills are better than his. Cite? Or **ANY** evidence of **EITHER** assertion? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/9 "2003-12-01T19:43:51Z")
```auto :p :p :p :p :smack: :smack: :o :o :o :o :o :smack: :smack: :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :wally :smack: :wally :smack: :smack: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :smack: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :( :mad: :mad: :mad: :( :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( ``` ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/10 "2003-12-01T19:44:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ilsa\_Lund \* > \*\*Most fan clubs are AWARE OF WHETHER OR NOT THE HERO THEY WORSHIP IS A REAL. FUCKING. PERSON! \*\* Ever been to Church? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/11 "2003-12-01T19:44:33Z")
You must have quite some time on your hands. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/12 "2003-12-01T19:44:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \* > \*\*I know if he’s a real person or not. You can too, for $19.95, i take Paypal, money orders, cash (American or Canadian, cuz i like money with beavers on it), but NO CHECKS! \*\* I’ll tell ya’ for $19.9_4_. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/13 "2003-12-01T19:46:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tomndebb \* > \*\*Cite? > Or **ANY** evidence of **EITHER** assertion? 😉 \*\* I can give you a cite for both…🙂 If I had all day and night to devote to my board persona, I’m sure it would come across better. Suffice it to say, I am in natural sciences research. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/14 "2003-12-01T19:47:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\*You must have quite some time on your hands. \*\* What are you talking about? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/15 "2003-12-01T19:49:38Z")
**You dare to Pit the All-knowing one?!?** HERETIC!!! ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/16 "2003-12-01T19:50:07Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by SkipMagic \* > \*\*I’ll tell ya’ for $19.9_4\*. 😛 \*\* No one undercuts me! Plus **SkipMagic** ’s not a reliable source. **CITE** ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/17 "2003-12-01T19:51:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \* > \*\ ***You dare to Pit the All-knowing one?!?** > > HERETIC!!! \*\* Screw him. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/18 "2003-12-01T19:52:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ilsa\_Lund \* > \*\*What are you talking about? \*\* To come up with the putz volcano. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/19 "2003-12-01T19:52:58Z")
Wow, that volcano is awesome! Well done. Oh, and you suck. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318/20 "2003-12-01T19:55:09Z")
> [@](#): > > To come up with the putz volcano. Ahh, took about ten minutes. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-cecil-adams-the-putz/216318.md?page=2)