# Pitting Mr. Green Bean
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [June 2, 2004, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200 "2004-06-02T03:47:52Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/21 "2004-06-02T21:05:03Z")
> [@Bren\_Cameron](#):
>
> Now, he doesn’t throw tantrums, nor is he as rude as Mr. Ice Cream
And sweaty. Don’t forget sweaty.
I almost forgot the time when my husband and I went to the first Harry Potter movie. The couple in front of us at the concessions (all of my stories seem to come back to junk food. Hmm) were trying to use expired coupons. The man ended up flinging the money in the popcorn girl’s face and screaming at her.
We went into the theater and deliberately sat behind them. Then the conversation went like this:
me: Did you see those horrible jerks in the popcorn line?
him: I saw them. What was their problem?
me: I don’t know. They were trying to cheat the girl behind the counter.
him: What idiots.
me: Complete jerks.
him: God, I hope they aren’t in this theater.
me: Yeah, think of how obnoxious they’d be during the movie.
him: Probably throw some tantrum.
me: Idiots.
him: Jerks.
The man kept turning around and giving us the evil eye. But we chattered “obliviously” on and, with any luck, hurt his widdle feelings.
They left halfway through. 😃
---
### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2004, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/22 "2004-06-02T21:33:49Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#):
>
> I don’t care what his temperment is/was. He has no right to be that big of an asshole.
Sure he does, but that’s beside the point. I’m not talking about rights, I’m talking about the fact that people who are obsessive-compulsive can panic whenever they encounter surprises like not having green beans with their chicken when they have always had green beans with their chicken. He has a right to go bonkers, and you have a right to be a dick over it. And life goes on.
---
### Author:  [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2004, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/23 "2004-06-02T22:19:30Z")
> [@Liberal](#):
>
> Sure he does, but that’s beside the point. I’m not talking about rights, I’m talking about the fact that people who are obsessive-compulsive can panic whenever they encounter surprises like not having green beans with their chicken when they have always had green beans with their chicken. He has a right to go bonkers, and you have a right to be a dick over it. And life goes on.
Oh, bullshit. The incident as described showed no sign of the guy having OCD. He was being an asshole deliberately.
Much like you’ve been doing lately.
---
### Author:  [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2004, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/24 "2004-06-02T22:27:55Z")
> [@](#):
>
> I don’t care what his temperment is/was. He has no right to be that big of an asshole.
>
> Just what the hell is the matter with you, Lib?
It was a reference, I believe, to a very old thread that **Maeglin** posted about “Melancholics” (based on Platonic philosophy? Am I remembering correctly?) and in which **Lib** participated rather heavily. If I gather up the time or inclination, I’ll find it for you. In that sense, then, **Lib** seems to be making a joke. Granted, it wasn’t very funny, nor was it particularly apt, since Mr. Green Bean seems to have wasted the 3 minutes with no help from anyone else, but there you have it.
Ha.
Ha.
```
Ha.
```
I note on preview, however, that he seems to have reverted to standard contrarianism. Surprise surprise.
---
### Author:  [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2004, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/25 "2004-06-02T22:36:01Z")
> [@Liberal](#):
>
> In fairness to Mr. Green Bean, it could be that he has a melancholy temperament. If so, then he obviously cannot have his chicken without his green beans — they must be served together. I wish people would keep in mind that in shouldering burdens for the whole world, Melancholies deserve some appreciation and and a bit of slack in the rope. Why can’t you just wait 3 minutes for the poor man to have his balance restored?
Are you just a naturally altruistic guy, or are you trying to bring attention to a disorder that you have?
In either case, the girl at the counter has much more of a right to be treated with respect, than this guy did to impose his disorder on others. That is _ **IF** _ this guy has some sort of mental problem. Being an asshole is not a god given right, if you just can’t help being one, seek therapy.
---
### Author:  [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2004, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/26 "2004-06-02T22:39:34Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Oh, bullshit. The incident as described showed no sign of the guy having OCD.
Yeah, see, that just kills me. It reminds me of a thread I posted once in which I described restraining a drunk driver from leaving an accident scene (which he caused…with his young daughter in the car.) I leaned in through the front window, and the smell of alcohol emanating from him was overpowering.
It wasn’t long before somebody showed up and demanded how I knew he was drunk. Perhaps a closed bottle of whiskey had shattered in the car when the accident occurred! Perhaps he was having an epileptic seizure or a diabetic episode or a religious experience or a really great spontaneous orgasm when he crashed the car and it wasn’t REEEEEALLY his fault at all! HAD I EVER THOUGHT OF THAT?!
Yeah, numbnuts. I thought of it…and rejected it, because the balance of evidence pointed to the conclusion that he was driving piss drunk, blacked out, and smashed into three fucking cars parked at a red light that he could have seen from a mile away. And either way, he didn’t need to wander away from the scene, especially since his daughter clambered out of the car and came screaming to me, and he would have left without her.
His behavior, like that of Mr. Green Bean, was absolutely inexcusable. I know **Incubus** was in a tight spot, but I think he really should have told the guy off.
---
### Author:  [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/27 "2004-06-02T23:21:27Z")
Glad to know this thread isn’t about me or my beloved husband, but I have to admit, the thread title gave me a bit of a shock! Thanks for adding the clarification.
Just for the record, the REAL **Mr. Green Bean** is a very nice person who would never behave in such an inexcusable manner. 🙂
---
### Author:  [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/28 "2004-06-03T01:36:30Z")
> [@Liberal](#):
>
> Sure he does, but that’s beside the point. I’m not talking about rights, I’m talking about the fact that people who are obsessive-compulsive can panic whenever they encounter surprises like not having green beans with their chicken when they have always had green beans with their chicken. He has a right to go bonkers, and you have a right to be a dick over it. And life goes on.
Maybe he was OCD. Maybe he’s borderline diabetic and his blood sugar was getting low. Maybe Jessica Alba will show up at my front door stark naked claiming she has a disease that can only be cured by my having sex with her.
Maybe he was just an asshole.
When did you start making excuses for assholes, **Lib**? Sure doesn’t sound like something you’d do. In fact, it sounds like something a far leftist would do.
---
### Author:  [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/29 "2004-06-03T03:15:11Z")
> [@lezlers](#):
>
> If half of what you posted is true **Uvula** , you’re my hero.
>
> (I make the remark about truth because I’d like to _hope_ people that rude and obnoxious don’t really exist and that you’re embellishing although the cynical part of me knows every word is probably true…)
Unfortunately, I didn’t embellish.
Normally, I don’t have the balls to do something like that, but we were so friendly with the owners that they had invited us to their Chinese New Year’s parties a few years in a row, and Mrs. U and I were tutoring that particular waitress in English because she was having trouble in school. To see someone treat them so crappily really made my blood boil.
---
### Author:  [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/30 "2004-06-03T04:02:01Z")
Okay, so maybe this Mr. Green Beans did have OCD. I’ve known people with varying levels of OCD and even when it was pretty bad, they managed to be decent. They might have been curt, but you could tell they were struggling to be nice. Having a disability or disorder doesn’t mean you’ve been handed a ‘Get out of politeness free’ card.
---
### Author:  [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/31 "2004-06-03T04:51:25Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#):
>
> And sweaty. Don’t forget sweaty.
>
> I almost forgot the time when my husband and I went to the first Harry Potter movie. The couple in front of us at the concessions (all of my stories seem to come back to junk food. Hmm) were trying to use expired coupons. The man ended up flinging the money in the popcorn girl’s face and screaming at her.
>
> We went into the theater and deliberately sat behind them. Then the conversation went like this:
>
> me: Did you see those horrible jerks in the popcorn line?
> him: I saw them. What was their problem?
> me: I don’t know. They were trying to cheat the girl behind the counter.
> him: What idiots.
> me: Complete jerks.
> him: God, I hope they aren’t in this theater.
> me: Yeah, think of how obnoxious they’d be during the movie.
> him: Probably throw some tantrum.
> me: Idiots.
> him: Jerks.
>
> The man kept turning around and giving us the evil eye. But we chattered “obliviously” on and, with any luck, hurt his widdle feelings.
>
> They left halfway through. 😃
You are freaking _brilliant_. I’m so doing that the next time I see some jerks in a movie theatre (considering that’s pretty much a give-in, I look forward to doing it soon!)
---
### Author:  [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/32 "2004-06-03T04:58:27Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#):
>
> We went into the theater and deliberately sat behind them. Then the conversation went like this:
Funny…usually the people who TALK in the movie theater are considered the jerks…
---
### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/33 "2004-06-03T10:48:39Z")
> [@gobear](#):
>
> Oh, bullshit. The incident as described showed no sign of the guy having OCD. He was being an asshole deliberately.
>
> Much like you’ve been doing lately.
Oh, that’s rich. Three, no wait, four, no wait, five of you gang up on me and call me a bully. In the first place, Incubus obviously was exaggerating (as in “I was starving” — no non-homeless American is ever starving), but the clue that the man was Melancholy was that having to wait three minutes was a disaster to him. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see it, but it takes a dickhead to ignore it. Incidentally, I’m the one who started the Melancholy thread in MPSIMS, not Maeglin. And the fact that you think it’s a joke just proves how fucking clueless you really are.
---
### Author:  [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/34 "2004-06-03T11:28:34Z")
> [@Liberal](#):
>
> Oh, that’s rich. Three, no wait, four, no wait, five of you gang up on me and call me a bully.
You know sometimes, when you’re the only person on your side of the argument, it’s not because you’re the only voice of reason in a world gone mad, it’s because everyone else recognizes that your side is wrong.
There is no excuse for being rude to people. If you can’t manage to conduct a simple transaction without going off the deep end, you should have someone assisting you and not go out alone.
---
### Author:  [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/35 "2004-06-03T12:19:32Z")
> [@Liberal](#):
>
> Oh, that’s rich. Three, no wait, four, no wait, five of you gang up on me and call me a bully.
Please show me where anyone has called you a bully in this thread.
---
### Author:  [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/36 "2004-06-03T13:05:53Z")
> [@Garfield226](#):
>
> Funny…usually the people who TALK in the movie theater are considered the jerks…
We stopped before the trailers even started. We just all got there early.
😛
---
### Author:  [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/37 "2004-06-03T13:51:05Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#):
>
> When did you start making excuses for assholes, **Lib**? Sure doesn’t sound like something you’d do. In fact, it sounds like something a far leftist would do.
You obviously must be having a bad day. Don’t anyone jump on **Ashtar** , please. He’s obviously having a bad day and we should all cut him some slack.
---
### Author:  [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/38 "2004-06-03T14:24:16Z")
> [@Liberal](#):
>
> Oh, that’s rich. Three, no wait, four, no wait, five of you gang up on me and call me a bully. In the first place, Incubus obviously was exaggerating (as in “I was starving” — no non-homeless American is ever starving), but the clue that the man was Melancholy was that having to wait three minutes was a disaster to him. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see it, but it takes a dickhead to ignore it. Incidentally, I’m the one who started the Melancholy thread in MPSIMS, not Maeglin. And the fact that you think it’s a joke just proves how fucking clueless you really are.
You made it sound as though the guy was just frustrated with the time it took for the green beans to be prepared-if that were the case then I’d agree with you; however this guy seems to have taken out that frustration on the person behind the counter. At that moment I disagree and the guy becomes an asshole and the slack for his ‘rope’ is cut IMO.
I suppose you think you can judge how a person is by their behavior in one certain circumstance. Yes, perhaps the person is actually melancholy, OR perhaps he was just an asshole that night. From the limited amount of information we are given I’d say it’s pretty hard to tell what exactly is the man’s problem. One thing I think we can all tell for certain is the fact that he was acting like an asshole.
Fact: Mr. Green Bean was an asshole
Hypothesis: Maybe it’s because he’s melancholy.
This hypothesis doesn’t change the fact that the guy was a dill-hole.
Whether or not he engages in assholery on a daily basis is not relevant really, nor is the guy’s mental state. At best we could _understand_ why the guy was such an asshole-BUT that doesn’t take away from the fact that the guy WAS an asshole engaging in assholery.
---
### Author:  [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/39 "2004-06-03T15:34:04Z")
> [@Olentzero](#):
>
> You obviously must be having a bad day. Don’t anyone jump on **Ashtar** , please. He’s obviously having a bad day and we should all cut him some slack.
Thanks for the support. :rolleyes: Come on now, tell me what you _really_ think of me.
I think it’s ridiculous when people try to explain away the assholish behavior of people they don’t know. He may have OCD. He may be ADHD. He may belong to a religion where if he doesn’t eat a plate of chicken and green beans at exactly 8pm every day, he goes to Hell.
Why can’t we just say that he was an asshole and leave it at that? Why do we have to invent excuses for him?
---
### Author:  [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-mr-green-bean/248200/40 "2004-06-03T16:12:04Z")
Here’s one for you, asshole. Why try to make an explicit connection between political beliefs and behavior you find objectionable?
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