# Pitting my brother/sister **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 22, 2021, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157 "2021-01-22T01:39:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MustangSal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mustangsal/32/6327_2.png) [@MustangSal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MustangSal)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/1 "2021-01-22T01:39:39Z")
I guess this is a rant. 20 years ago, Brother borrowed 100k from elderly mother to start a business. Business failed. I just recently learned from mom he hasn’t ever attempted to pay her back. 15 years ago, mom and sister invested in a rental property, with brother-in-law. BIL was a contractor. Long story short, BIL went to jail for fraud. Sister divorced him, lost their house in all the legal troubles and moved into the rental property. Mom is now out of money. Cries about having to maybe moving into section 8 senior housing. I have the financial means to help her a bit, my brother and sister both continue to live a comfortable middle class life style. And refuse to acknowledge any financial debt to mom. So now I’m the dick that calls them out. And mom doesn’t want me to call them out even though she’s been complaining about being taking advantage of financially. What would you do? ---
**Author:** ![flurb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@flurb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flurb)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/2 "2021-01-22T01:42:05Z")
Frankly, I’d probably tell mom to stop complaining to me about her own choices. ---
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/3 "2021-01-22T01:43:33Z")
> [@MustangSal](#): > > What would you do? I would not take anything you say too seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/4 "2021-01-22T01:44:08Z")
Take care of your mom. You can’t make selfish people be generous by guilting them, and your mom just wants peace. Don’t let her have any financial dealings with them again if you can prevent it. I’m sorry your brother and sister are shitty people. ---
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/5 "2021-01-22T01:44:34Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > I’m sorry your brother and sister are shitty people. Don’t be. They probably don’t even exist. Nothing about this poster rings true. ---
**Author:** ![MustangSal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mustangsal/32/6327_2.png) [@MustangSal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MustangSal)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/6 "2021-01-22T01:48:55Z")
That’s probably my first instinct. I am a jerk. But she is my mom. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/7 "2021-01-22T02:02:35Z")
Maybe start a go fund me. That’s gotta help a little. ---
**Author:** ![MustangSal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mustangsal/32/6327_2.png) [@MustangSal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MustangSal)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/8 "2021-01-22T02:06:30Z")
Probably not. She is our mom. We should take care of her. Not strangers on the internet. But I stress “WE” as in my brother and sister and I. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/9 "2021-01-22T02:17:50Z")
Rob them? ---
**Author:** ![MustangSal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mustangsal/32/6327_2.png) [@MustangSal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MustangSal)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/10 "2021-01-22T02:24:16Z")
I wouldn’t do good in jail. I’d also add none of these financial arrangements were put on paper. My mom was 1/3 owner of the rental home, but my sister living there for 15 yesrs wasn’t part of the deal ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/11 "2021-01-22T02:26:13Z")
I’ve long since learned you never lend money to a family member. You give it to them. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/12 "2021-01-22T02:30:02Z")
Not much anyone can do, then. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/13 "2021-01-22T03:12:20Z")
Have you considered rape as a weapon against your brother/sister? ---
**Author:** ![MustangSal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mustangsal/32/6327_2.png) [@MustangSal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MustangSal)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/14 "2021-01-22T03:12:45Z")
I have not ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/15 "2021-01-22T03:13:24Z")
Well, nevermind what I would do. ---
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/16 "2021-01-22T03:42:44Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > Have you considered rape as a weapon against your brother/sister? Way to sink lower than the troll that sucked you in. ---
**Author:** ![MustangSal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mustangsal/32/6327_2.png) [@MustangSal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MustangSal)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/17 "2021-01-22T03:53:41Z")
Well as a long time lurker, only recent poster, it is my understanding that the Pit is kinda the anything goes part of SDMB. And I’m an adult with thick skin. So while raping my sister and or brother would of course be abhorrent, I don’t lose sleep over what he said. I’m not sure what I did to you that makes you lose sleep over me. ---
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/18 "2021-01-22T04:28:12Z")
Fuck off, troll. ---
**Author:** ![MustangSal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mustangsal/32/6327_2.png) [@MustangSal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MustangSal)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/19 "2021-01-22T04:31:50Z")
Ok troll. ---
**Author:** ![MustangSal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mustangsal/32/6327_2.png) [@MustangSal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MustangSal)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2021, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157/20 "2021-01-22T04:32:45Z")
Have a nice evening troll. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-brother-sister/931157.md?page=2)