# Pitting my future sister-in-law **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 21, 2021, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059 "2021-01-21T04:53:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2021, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/241 "2021-03-02T01:36:11Z")
@digs - you have an evil mind; I respect that in a man. Here’s a fun scenario driven off your launching pad: Future wife realizes this mess is a deal-breaker for her marriage which she hopes is her ticket out of her thieving dysfunctional family. FSIL pooped in that punchbowl big time. So future wife comes up with the $1500 somehow. We won’t ask, but that “somehow” won’t have been good. And she deposits it, thereby cementing in the mind of FSIL that her sis can be counted on to cover for her future predations. Meanwhile, @Superdude, following the ghastly malformed thought processes of @Tripolar, decides that he’s even on the money and withdraws all his support for the case against FSIL. The bank, police, DA, etc., all consider the remaining $1000 to not be worth bothering with. FSIL skates, @Superdude marries, and we all pull up chairs & make popcorn for the inevitable next chapter in the ongoing saga of _@Superdude learns a painful lesson about how bad other people can be._ > [@asahi](#): > > I think the bottom line is that you’ve pitched your tent near a nest of snakes This. @asahi has wisely summarized the entire thread right here. You’ll keep getting bitten until you move your tent or kill them all. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2021, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/242 "2021-03-02T03:40:44Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > To my knowledge, this is the first time that something like this has happened. My fiancée can’t think of any other times when her sister has done anything like this. Of course, that doesn’t mean that it’s never occurred before. I realize they’re different sisters…but another sister caused your fiancee to get carjacked right? > [@Superdude](#): > > She hasn’t triggered my “drug” alarm, and after eight years as an EMT, min is at least honed better than average But from the carjacking thread: > Her sister sold her out. Her sister has had issues with addiction, and owed money to people who were not-so-nice. Her sister convinced them that\*\* Girl Wonder\*\* would be on the hook for it. Unfortunately, she didn’t bother to inform us about this idea. [quote=“Superdude, post:15, topic:931059”]They’re a pretty tight-knit family that constantly looks out for each other. [/quote] From the carjacking thread > **wolfman** , she’s not close to her family for various and sundry reasons. Then of course the money’s taken, then the denial…but wait, it’s back. No harm no foul? No, it will cool down…then some new drama. When fiancee vouches for a sister they’re “tight knit” but when something goes wrong, fiancee “is not close, for various and sundry reasons.” My hunch is that you really want to be with your fiancee (and I’m betting your fiancee replaced that money) and are looking for ways to kid yourself about the situation, wish away the evidence. A carjacking is rare…someone stealing $2500 is rare. What are the odds both happened, and in such a short time, through purely bad luck? AIUI Freud said we’re never so vulnerable as when we love. Good luck, whatever you decide. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2021, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/243 "2021-03-02T04:58:08Z")
I endorse these ^ reservations. And the good wishes. ---
**Author:** ![The.Undeposable.Hand](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the.undeposable.hand/32/5594_2.png) [@The.Undeposable.Hand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The.Undeposable.Hand)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2021, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/244 "2021-03-02T19:35:09Z")
Did I read that right? The fiancee is 16 years younger than the OP? I had pegged him for a younger guy in his late 20s or early 30s. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2021, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/245 "2021-03-02T20:40:53Z")
I just turned 48 last month. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2021, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/246 "2021-03-03T04:10:32Z")
So did you view the bank security video to see who paid the $1500? If you discover it was your fiancée, what will you do? ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2021, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/247 "2021-03-03T15:32:15Z")
> [@nelliebly](#): > > If you discover it was your fiancée, what will you do? Start another thread? ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2021, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/248 "2021-03-03T15:46:23Z")
I bet it was another not-yet-named sister. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2021, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/249 "2021-03-03T16:13:52Z")
I went over yesterday to view the footage. It was the sister who took the money, and her mother. I don’t know if Mom forced her hand, or if Mom gave her the money to pay back, or what. And while I’m thinking about it, upthread someone was wondering about the carjacking from before. That was a different sister. Technically a half-sister, and my fiancée has already severed all contact with her because of that. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2021, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/250 "2021-03-03T16:24:04Z")
I’m assuming the thieving sister will never live this down. I’ve been with my gf now for many years. Early in our relationship, one of my sister’s sons (my nephew) was going through a phase where he was mostly dating older women. He was 22 and was dating a 40 year old bartender. We were totally cool with him dating whoever he wanted, but at a party he got pretty drunk and hit on my gf. Hard. Told her how he could do things his uncle couldn’t. My gf put him in his place and he eventually was horribly embarrassed. To this day we refer to him as “creepy nephew”. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2021, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/251 "2021-03-03T16:32:55Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > I went over yesterday to view the footage. It was the sister who took the money, and her mother. Well, thank God it wasn’t your fiancée. But if the money was returned under duress or even bankrolled by mom, it’s safe to say the sister hasn’t learned a lesson here. What if you moved away with the fiancée? Maybe as a new start right before/after marriage? Would she choose you and a sane life over the neurosis of her family? ---
**Author:** ![Chingon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chingon/32/17645_2.png) [@Chingon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chingon)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2021, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/252 "2021-03-03T16:37:41Z")
What if the mom is the mastermind behind this whole thing?! Stay tuned to find out! ---
**Author:** ![asahi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asahi/32/8693_2.png) [@asahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asahi)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2021, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/253 "2021-03-03T16:39:12Z")
Do you have more money than your fiancee? Like a lot more? I don’t mean rich, I just mean, are you much better with money and have more of it saved up than your fiancee? ---
**Author:** ![The.Undeposable.Hand](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the.undeposable.hand/32/5594_2.png) [@The.Undeposable.Hand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The.Undeposable.Hand)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2021, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/254 "2021-03-03T16:43:05Z")
Did you ever discover how she got your PIN from your fiancee? ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2021, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/255 "2021-03-03T17:52:30Z")
She got my PIN off my fiancée’s phone at some point. She had it stored on her phone in case she needed it, and it looks like that’s where she acquired it. @asahi, she actually makes more than I do right now. She’s also better about managing it. ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2021, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/256 "2021-03-03T18:33:52Z")
I’m really surprised you can just walk into a bank branch and get them to cue up camera footage. Not just surprised that they’re willing but also able. ---
**Author:** ![The.Undeposable.Hand](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the.undeposable.hand/32/5594_2.png) [@The.Undeposable.Hand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The.Undeposable.Hand)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2021, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/257 "2021-03-03T19:36:59Z")
How did she know the passcode to unlock her sister’s phone, and exactly where in the device to locate the PIN, which was presumably somehow labeled “sUpErdUdE’s pin!” Not buying it. Do you? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2021, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/258 "2021-03-03T19:57:18Z")
I think it’s entirely plausible given the information in this thread. From post #255, it looks like what happened is: **Superdude** gave his PIN number to his fiancée (which… don’t ever tell you bank that you did that. My bank was crystal clear that my husband is not allowed access to my PIN, even on accounts that we share! This detail would, I think, make you at least partly culpable). Fiancée stored it in her phone. Possibly in the little notes folder, which is sometimes accessible on a computer if you have their gmail password, say, or if it’s otherwise integrated. I don’t know how tech-savvy S-in-L is. But if it’s your sister and you’re a user, you’re probably really good at exploiting her weaknesses. Was fiancée’s phone password protected? If not, piece of cake. If so, that’s usually its own four-digit PIN, which is probably trivially easy to figure out if you’re a user paying attention when your sister unlocks her phone. ---
**Author:** ![The.Undeposable.Hand](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the.undeposable.hand/32/5594_2.png) [@The.Undeposable.Hand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The.Undeposable.Hand)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2021, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/259 "2021-03-03T20:03:34Z")
That fiancee would have to be amazingly clueless for a Millennial if her phone isn’t password protected and she leaves a clearly labeled ATM PIN number where anyone can see it. Does she keep her own PIN number there too? Thinking she will never lose her purse? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2021, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059/260 "2021-03-03T20:23:12Z")
Every time you type in your pin, are you shading it so that nobody sees? If the sister-in-law is keeping an alert eye out for this, she could probably figure out the pin just by watching her sister log in five or six times. Don’t underestimate the effort people who won’t work will put in to take advantage of others. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-future-sister-in-law/931059.md?page=14)