# Pitting my horny self **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 12, 2004, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595 "2004-04-12T13:16:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/1 "2004-04-12T13:16:49Z")
The wife has left for trip to Dallas for about a week to visit her sister. I still had my two daughters with me though. On Sunday morning for the first time **I** put out all the eggs, only I had to do a better job than my wife. I had eggs placed on top of the ceiling fan, on top of the vertically hinged bathroom mirrors that I left partially closed and on top of a door slightly ajar. Later, after some work on my newly acquired 15 foot motor boat, I took the daughters out for a run on the nearby lake. The weather was gorgeous, sunny and 70[sup]0[/sup]F. Lots of people on the beach. I’m a family guy, I love my wife and kids, and I’m all for family values though God only knows what exactly that means. Well, after I pulled up the boat and trailor out of the water, and back up to the parking lot near the road down to the beach, strapping down the boat, three loud laughing girlswalked by. They were all very well developed, scantily clad with breasts spilling out in all directions with an urgency to burst free. As they walked away, their sharp V bikini bottoms displayed just the right jiggle. I carefully made sure to look out of the corner of my eye so as not to alarm my daughters. As we drove away and by the girls again, I made sure I got another good look. Damn, these girls are stuck in my mind, but I don’t think I ever looked at their faces. They remind me that I’m old and that there are pleasures in life that I will never again enjoy. And thats not to say that I would actually desire to touch and have sex with these girls, because I’m well aware of the prevalent attitude that young women have for horny old men, but I sure miss being young and having someone to writhe about with in energetic youthful vigour. Furthermore, this is no reflection on my sex life with my wife which is nobody else’s business. Alas, I’m sure I’ll get over these three girls. ---
**Author:** ![LolaBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@LolaBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaBaby)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/2 "2004-04-12T13:23:12Z")
You know, I _thought_ that was you! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/3 "2004-04-12T13:41:06Z")
Bubbadog recalls a recent experience similar to this and then says to self, “Who you kidding? You couldn’t have them girls _anytime_ in you life.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/4 "2004-04-12T13:42:15Z")
Thanks a lot **Lola**. I will now have a permanently fixed visual impression of you that will continue to titillate and torture me whenever I come across your name. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/5 "2004-04-12T13:48:22Z")
Your horny on a Monday. That is so wrong. I always thought peak horniness was Friday Night, around closing time. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/6 "2004-04-12T13:52:55Z")
Perhaps **Shirley** , but my wife’s been gone since last Wednesday. ---
**Author:** ![Avenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de0a6/32.png) [@Avenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avenger)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/7 "2004-04-12T15:17:48Z")
If I pitted myself everytime I appreciated the charms of a pretty younger woman, I’d never actually have time to leave the house and see any! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/8 "2004-04-12T15:38:17Z")
Damn you, **grienspace**! First I read the thread title: “Pitting my horny self” Than this: > [@grienspace](#): > > The wife has left for trip to Dallas for about a week to visit her sister. I still had my two daughters with me though. I was about to post “You sick fuck!” Thank goodness I kept reading. As it ends up, you’re just a normal, garden variety, dirty old man. BFD. Welcome to the club. Membership badges are on the right, hand cream and moist towelettes are on the left. Memberships fees are due on the 30th of every month. Trench coats optional. ---
**Author:** ![Avenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de0a6/32.png) [@Avenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avenger)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/9 "2004-04-12T15:48:40Z")
> [@](#): > > I was about to post “You sick fuck!” Thank goodness I kept reading Must admit, I was a bit worried at that point too… ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/10 "2004-04-12T16:03:29Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Welcome to the club. Membership badges are on the right, hand cream and moist towelettes are on the left. Memberships fees are due on the 30th of every month. Trench coats optional. **tdn** - This is the funniest thing I’ve read on the SDMB in a long time! 😃 Sam ---
**Author:** ![jeevmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@jeevmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeevmon)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/11 "2004-04-12T16:17:06Z")
These kinds of dilemmas always remind me of something Roger Ebert said in his review of “American Beauty”: > [@](#): > > Is it wrong for a man in his 40s to lust after a teenage girl? Any honest man understands what a complicated question this is. Wrong morally, certainly, and legally. But as every woman knows, men are born with wiring that goes directly from their eyes to their genitals, bypassing the higher centers of thought. They can disapprove of their thoughts, but they cannot stop themselves from having them. [link](http://www.suntimes.com/ebert/ebert_reviews/1999/09/092401.html) Truer words were never spoken. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/12 "2004-04-12T16:29:39Z")
> [@Avenger](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > I was about to post “You sick fuck!” Thank goodness I kept reading > > Must admit, I was a bit worried at that point too… Talk about quick to judge? :eek:. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/13 "2004-04-12T16:36:24Z")
Hmm…overcast here, chilly, chance of rain, wife’s still in town, and a 4 year old is running around wired on Easter chocolate. I fail to see what you’re bitching about. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chotii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@Chotii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chotii)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/14 "2004-04-12T17:30:52Z")
> [@Avenger](#): > > If I pitted myself everytime I appreciated the charms of a pretty younger woman, I’d never actually have time to leave the house and see any! I donut think that word means what you think it means. ---
**Author:** ![matt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@matt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/15 "2004-04-12T17:51:55Z")
Give yourself a break! Really you’re pitting the aging process, and it certainly deserves it. Some day we might nail that bastard. Attractive young ladies in bikinis are like sunsets - you’re supposed to enjoy the sight, because the world would be diminished if you didn’t. Revel in your horny self! ---
**Author:** ![Avenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de0a6/32.png) [@Avenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avenger)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/16 "2004-04-12T18:32:29Z")
> [@Chotii](#): > > I donut think that word means what you think it means. Err, which word did you have in mind? I’m pretty sure that they all do mean what I think they mean! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/17 "2004-04-12T18:39:54Z")
> [@GaWd](#): > > **tdn** - > > This is the funniest thing I’ve read on the SDMB in a long time! 😃 > > Sam Thanks! And I can’t tell you how nice it is to play to an appreciative audience. For a change. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/18 "2004-04-12T18:48:01Z")
> [@jeevmon](#): > > These kinds of dilemmas always remind me of something Roger Ebert said in his review of “American Beauty”: > … > Truer words were never spoken. Is Ebert right or wrong? Is the OP a disgusting bastard? Is it morally wrong for a middle aged man to lust after a teenage girl? Sounds like a job for GD. Though I won’t be the one to start it. Just a thought. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/19 "2004-04-12T19:23:09Z")
You have heard that it was said, `YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. -Matthew 5:27-28 You’re every bit as evil as Jimmy Carter, **grienspace** 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/20 "2004-04-12T19:49:25Z")
> [@Squink](#): > > You have heard that it was said, `YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY; > but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. > -Matthew 5:27-28 I guess that would make me some amazing stud-muffin. In my heart. Where it really doesn’t count. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595.md?page=2)