# Pitting my horny self **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 12, 2004, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595 "2004-04-12T13:16:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/21 "2004-04-12T23:25:17Z")
Well, you may be a dirty old man, but the following totally redeems you. > [@grienspace](#): > > On Sunday morning for the first time **I** put out all the eggs, only I had to do a better job than my wife. I had eggs placed on top of the ceiling fan, on top of the vertically hinged bathroom mirrors that I left partially closed and on top of a door slightly ajar. Later, after some work on my newly acquired 15 foot motor boat, I took the daughters out for a run on the nearby lake. The weather was gorgeous, sunny and 70[sup]0[/sup]F. Lots of people on the beach. I’m a family guy, I love my wife and kids, and I’m all for family values though God only knows what exactly that means. My dad would have just said “Screw the eggs or hide 'em yourselves”. Plus, he worked on tractors. Not very much fun for a preteen girl. Your appreciation for “breasts spilling out in all directions with an urgency to burst free” redeems you further. It’s nice to know stuff like that is still appreciated, even on some of us older chicks. Right? Right?? FaerieBeth ---
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/22 "2004-04-12T23:31:17Z")
You old farts make me realize I never want to grow up. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/23 "2004-04-12T23:37:51Z")
Don’t sweat it. We’re hardwired, and fighting it just causes a meltdown. As long as you don’t drool… 😃 Just look and appreciate the wonder of Creation. I’m happily monogamous, to The Most Beautiful Woman In The World®, but the day I don’t look, bury me, cuz I’ll have been dead for a week! ---
**Author:** ![LadyMack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4491bb/32.png) [@LadyMack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadyMack)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/24 "2004-04-12T23:38:14Z")
Nuthin’ wrong with looking. ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2004, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/25 "2004-04-12T23:46:18Z")
> [@LadyDragon](#): > > Nuthin’ wrong with looking. …Just as long as you don’t act on it. Teenage girls don’t exactly like to be chased by old guys with boners. _shudders_ ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/26 "2004-04-13T00:27:23Z")
> [@](#): > > Nuthin’ wrong with looking. Just because you’re chained to the porch, it doesn’t mean you can’t bark at traffic. ---
**Author:** ![Ashkicker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@Ashkicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashkicker)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/27 "2004-04-13T01:04:33Z")
Oh what the hell I’ll throw in a story. I waited on this old man and woman the other night. His wife gets up to go to the bathroom and I go over to collect the money. He tells me how I can increase my tip the next time. Just bend over when I take the order. My face went really red. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/28 "2004-04-13T01:18:13Z")
Hey, I’m living proof it’s never over til it’s over. At 40, I had pretty much resigned myself to the same thinking. Out of nowhere, a 24-year old beauty walked into my life who actually _loved_ older guys. It was almost the best three months of my life. ---
**Author:** ![agiantdwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8c91f0/32.png) [@agiantdwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agiantdwarf)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/29 "2004-04-13T01:31:22Z")
I don’t get why people think that it’s immoral for old men to be attracted to young women. Do people think they become less attractive as a guy ages? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/30 "2004-04-13T13:23:20Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Damn you, **grienspace**! > > I was about to post “You sick fuck!” Thank goodness I kept reading. OMG. I’m sure there would be some people who would quit reading at that point in disgust. > [@Casey](#): > > 1505 Hmm…overcast here, chilly, chance of rain, wife’s still in town, and a 4 year old is running around wired on Easter chocolate. > > I fail to see what you’re bitching about. Yeah, I need to count my blessings 😃 > [@Squink](#): > > You have heard that it was said, `YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY; > but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. > -Matthew 5:27-28 > > You’re every bit as evil as Jimmy Carter, grienspace Thanks for reminding me . However I have no problem being compared to Jimmy Carter except for the fact that he’s so damn old 😃 > [@FaerieBeth](#): > > Your appreciation for “breasts spilling out in all directions with an urgency to burst free” redeems you further. It’s nice to know stuff like that is still appreciated, even on some of us older chicks. Right? Right?? You can bet your ass it is. Especially when the attention is appreciated. 🙂 > [@Ashkicker](#): > > He tells me how I can increase my tip the next time. Just bend over when I take the order. My face went really red. What an ignorant asshole! How the hell does one respond to a situation like that? > [@Chefguy](#): > > Hey, I’m living proof it’s never over til it’s over. At 40, I had pretty much resigned myself to the same thinking. Out of nowhere, a 24-year old beauty walked into my life who actually loved older guys. It was almost the best three months of my life. Just three months? Did she tire you out? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/31 "2004-04-13T13:30:10Z")
I was in my backyard the other day and my neighbor Roger drove his car into his driveway. When Roger and his girlfriend got out of the car, I said to myself “Dang, Roger’s girlfriend has got to be HALF his age!” That’s when I realized… it was his _daughter_. she’s seventeen pretty short skirt low-cut tight top busty curvy barefooted and it was a chilly day I appreciated the sight for a little while and went right inside and told my wife the truth… “Honey… Roger’s daughter is trying to corrupt me!” Confused, my darling wife said “What ARE you talking about?” I pointed out of our kitchen window at the buxom lass. When my wife saw her, she gave me a little hug and a pat and said “You’re safe in here.” ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/32 "2004-04-13T13:45:02Z")
> [@Avenger](#): > > > [@Chotii](#): > > > > I donut think that word means what you think it means. > > Err, which word did you have in mind? I think **Chotii** was making a joke about “pitting yourself” when you appreciate a young woman’s charms. And now I’m hungry for donuts with no means to get them, goddammit. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/33 "2004-04-13T13:57:11Z")
> [@Ashkicker](#): > > Oh what the hell I’ll throw in a story. Me too. Now keep in mind that when I see a cute young thang, the first thought that pops into my mind is “I have a girlfriend that I love very much.” The second thought is “But if I didn’t…” So I’m involved in a theatre project with [this girl](http://www.sheldonbrown.org/g-s/thespis/posed/pages/thespis-15.58.htm). In some part of my middle-aged sicko prevert fantasies I can somehow imagine this sweet young babe being not entirely disgusted with me. Much as some people would make it illegal, the thought has crossed my mind once or twice or fifty times. So the other night this slightly-older-than-middle-aged woman approached my and started gushing over my talents. She was glued to me. She introduced herself as the girl’s mother. “Hey”, I thought, “maybe she wants to set me up with her daughter.” You know, “tdn is such a nice young man, why don’t you two get married?” And as we all know, young women very often take their mothers’ advice when it comes to dating. So, flattered as I was, the thought came to me that perhaps the mother was not trying to fix me up with her daughter, but with herself. Let’s face it, the age difference there is probably much less. The next thought that popped into my mind was “I have a girlfriend that I love very much.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/34 "2004-04-13T13:59:22Z")
> [@GrizzRich](#): > > and it was a chilly day Chicken’s done! ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/35 "2004-04-13T14:12:49Z")
The dodge I usually use to justify looking is to say to myself, “she’s going to be a beauty in a couple of years”. That way, I’m not lusting after a teeny-bopper, just appreciating the woman she is going to be. It makes me feel a little less sicko… ---
**Author:** ![Ashkicker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@Ashkicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashkicker)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/36 "2004-04-13T21:48:30Z")
> [@grienspace](#): > > What an ignorant asshole! How the hell does one respond to a situation like that? Just like I said my face went red. I was stunned I couldn’t respond. I did however have a situation I was working the bar one night and I had 4 much older men, bowling buddies come in for dinner and a drink. One of the men is dragging in late, he sees me and grabs a hold of my arm and turns me around looks into my eyes and asks me “Where have you been all my life”? I looked at him and said “I don’t know probably high school”. His friends were giving him grief the rest of dinner. Dude and his friends both left me a good tip. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595/37 "2004-04-14T01:44:36Z")
Lets not forget older women lusting after attractive YOUNG guys. Its all normal and good as long as you don’t act like a sleaze. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-my-horny-self/239595.md?page=1)