# Pitting PKBites **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 4, 2021, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075 "2021-09-04T00:42:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/41 "2021-09-04T15:24:19Z")
What disturbs me about this post isn’t the advocacy of corporal punishment - it’s the advocacy of random corporal punishment unlinked to a specific offense, or a manufactured offense used as an excuse for a beating. That a textbook red flag indicator of abuse. When my father would read stories about serious child abuse, he would sometimes say “I sincerely hope no child of mine would be weak-willed enough to let _anyone_ do that to them” - being fully aware of the many ironies in that statement. My did was pretty cool. I did get spanked sometimes though, not beaten……just spanked. The lesson and the only lesson I learned from punishment was “Don’t get caught”. I took that lesson to heart and became a person that was very good at getting away with stuff because I didn’t get caught. I learned my morals and values and stuff via positive reinforcement- what I learned through punishment was how to do bad things without getting caught. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/42 "2021-09-04T15:35:13Z")
> [@asahi](#): > > spankings and other ‘physical’ forms of punishment have been around since forever. Given what I know about hunter-gatherer societies, I _seriously_ doubt that. The Bushmen don’t practice corporal punishment and view it as a strong taboo, in fact. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/43 "2021-09-04T15:39:02Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Given what I know about hunter-gatherer societies, I _seriously_ doubt that. The Bushmen don’t practice corporal punishment and view it as a strong taboo, in fact TIL. Interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/44 "2021-09-04T15:43:53Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > Some of you are getting a little too crazy over a whimsical post. Child abuse is funny? My father may have laughed as he hit me repeatedly with a razor strop, leaving welts on my ass, back and legs, but I don’t seem to recall laughing along with him. Yelling, screaming and occasionally blacking out…but no laughing. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/45 "2021-09-04T15:45:47Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > > [@MrDibble](#): > > > > Given what I know about hunter-gatherer societies, I _seriously_ doubt that. The Bushmen don’t practice corporal punishment and view it as a strong taboo, in fact > > TIL. Interesting. Ditto ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/46 "2021-09-04T15:46:30Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > > [@MrDibble](#): > > > > Given what I know about hunter-gatherer societies, I _seriously_ doubt that. The Bushmen don’t practice corporal punishment and view it as a strong taboo, in fact > > TIL. Interesting. You can read a bit about how child discipline in the !Kung works in [this paper](https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1011&context=anthropologyfacpub), and I’ll say it all jibes with my own limited experience. Key paragraph: > The ready accessibility of other people in the camp means that the > mother is protected from being badgered by her child until she loses control of her own temper.This circumstance is unfortunately very common in > our own society, with its nuclear family house­holds and residence arrangments which confer what is probably an unhealthy degree of privacy on > parents and children. In the !Kung case, parents are not likely to reach the > point of abusing their chil­dren, but in the unlikely event that someone did > abuse a child, other people would immediately step in. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/47 "2021-09-04T16:06:09Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > And my best guess is that pkbites was exaggerating, not admitting to illegal child abuse. Always believe authoritarians when they brag on how they maintain their authority. ---
**Author:** ![echoreply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/echoreply/32/3641_2.png) [@echoreply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/echoreply)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/48 "2021-09-04T16:06:58Z")
The stated pro-beating theory would have you believe that in the moment their reasoning is, “my child was behaving inappropriately, and after carefully considering several possible responses, I decided that a beating was the best method to correct the inappropriate behavior.” When actually it is more “my child was behaving inappropriately, and then I lost my temper, lost control of myself, and hit my child. Now I am justifying that action so I don’t come across as the bad guy.” The pro child beating side is making rationalizations to justify their behavior when they lose control. Back to the [what are things that non-parents cannot understand](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-are-things-that-non-parents-cannot-understand/942756) thread, you can get angry and frustrated with your own kids in ways you had never before imagined or experienced with another person. Keeping your cool when confronted with those emotions is very difficult, especially when you don’t know any other strategies. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/49 "2021-09-04T16:12:56Z")
> [@asahi](#): > > that’s liberal wussy ass psychobabble. People who say things like this were liely abused. “Stockholm syndrome”. Identifying with the abusers. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/50 "2021-09-04T16:13:34Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > TIL. Interesting. > [@puzzlegal](#): > > Ditto Another extract, unrelated to children, that I think might be of interest to both of you and anyone else who’s participated in those ATMB get-rid-of-the-Pit threads (on either side, @DemonTree) : > Given their propensity for living in such close quarters, it seems that the !Kung readiness to air grievances earlier rather than later is highly adaptive. When a person feels affronted, he > or she can talk about it, usually at a time and in a way when practically everyone in camp will also hear the complaint. In this way a person’s pique is publicized and in some measure vented. Other people become involved, and the weight of frustration does not lie with the individual alone. Now, does that kind of social system seem familiar? “Older than dirt”, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/51 "2021-09-04T16:14:59Z")
Talking about feelings is for wusses. A real man bottles his emotions up inside until he finds a suitable target that can’t fight back, and lets his anger out on them. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/52 "2021-09-04T16:19:42Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > Much beyond that, though - yes, it does damage kids forever. Or at least, it damages their relationship with their caregivers, which is pretty much the same thing. It strongly depends on the punishment, how it’s administered, and the context. I don’t have much problem with a swat on the butt to interrupt behavior. I have little problem with a policy of 10 spanks if you run in the street, if it’s an immediate drama-free cause-and-effect situation. I personally wouldn’t do these things, but I don’t think they’re automatic trauma. Where you get in trouble is: - Inconsistent enforcement - Constant atmosphere of impending violence - Parent is working out their anger instead of modifying behavior - Accompanied by abuse, belittlement, or sexual contact (bare buttocks is getting close to sexual contact) - Accompanied by other psychodrama (just wait until your father gets home in 3 hours). I was subjected to Roy Lessin type spanking ceremonies. This is a protocol intended to ritualize the violence so that it doesn’t seem impulsive or aggressive or vengeful, thereby minimizing the parent’s feelings of guilt. I can tell you that to a child, it all feels the same way. It teaches a lesson that it’s OK to hurt weaker people who love and need you, as long as you say the right magic words while you’re doing it. The long-term psychological effects aren’t great. Oh yeah, fuck pkbites and anybody who glories in beating their children, you pathetic microdick bully. Great job confirming the truth of what everybody says about cops. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/53 "2021-09-04T16:23:58Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > Some of you are getting a little too crazy over a whimsical post. I added the ending in jest of anyone who would get upset at those sayings. So how often _did_ you beat your children, if not weekly? I mean, let’s put the hilarious, whimsical, dare I say _puckish_ bon mots of your papa aside. Were you actually a serial abuser, or were you just pretending to be to get a rise out of people? ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/54 "2021-09-04T16:26:23Z")
I’m sorry to say that your upbringing sounds very similar to mine. I still have visceral reactions to men being upset or angry anywhere near me. I’m glad to say that I’ve never broken a plate glass window by slamming my kid into it, but neither have most parents. It’s a low bar. I know I’m not a perfect parent, but I’ve made sure that my kids know that I love them. They’re growing up just fine. > [@asahi](#): > > Sorry, I’m not a pussy. For fuck’s sake, can we drop it with this phrase? Women aren’t weak. Labelling someone a woman shouldn’t be an insult. You may not be a pussy, but you sure achieve “asshole” on the regular. > [@Toxylon](#): > > This thread confirms that PKBites is an asshole, though how much confirmation was needed is debatable. > [@pkbites](#): > > Some of you are getting a little too crazy over a whimsical post. I added the ending in jest of anyone who would get upset at those sayings. So you were trolling. Got it. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/55 "2021-09-04T16:27:40Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > For fuck’s sake, can we drop it with this phrase? Women aren’t weak. Labelling someone a woman shouldn’t be an insult. You may not be a pussy, but you sure achieve “asshole” on the regular. Yeah, if I’m looking for an insult for someone who tries to act all hard but who shrivels up under the first indication of danger, or even if it’s a mite chilly, I’m thinking of a different insult. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/56 "2021-09-04T16:33:24Z")
Seriously Asahi, you really know how to step in it sometimes. If there’s ever a good time to insult pussies, it sure as hell isn’t now. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/57 "2021-09-04T16:33:39Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Even if he’s not referring to severe injury, even in the hypothetical world where it weren’t corporal punishment he was talking about at all, he’s still advocating for random application of discipline. Which is the surest way known to seriously mess up someone’s psyche. But if he does it once a week, it’s not exactly “random,” is it? I mean, like, as long as it’s always the same day. Then it provides structure. The above is an attempt at comedy, btw, not a suggestion for effective parenting. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/58 "2021-09-04T16:36:17Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Child abuse is funny? Violence isn’t funny, but cartoon violence certainly can be. Is there such a thing as “cartoon child abuse”? Eh… maybe? I’m reminded of the verse from _Alice in Wonderland_: _Speak roughly to your little boy And beat him when he sneezes. He only does it to annoy Because he knows it teases._ I’m fortunate enough not to have been a victim nor an observer of actual child abuse, so I’m perhaps less likely to be triggered and more open to seeing remarks like @pkbites’s as an attempt at humor (which is not to say I think the attempt was successful or should have been made). Child abuse, like rape, is not _impossible_ to joke about, but you’re walking into a minefield if you try. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/59 "2021-09-04T16:38:12Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Child abuse, like rape, is not _impossible_ to joke about, but you’re walking into a minefield if you try. PKBites is setting out his own mines. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2021, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075/60 "2021-09-04T16:47:23Z")
I think someone up thread made a joke about the mother(s) of **pkbites** ’s kids being detainees. I took it as a “rape” joke. Not funny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-pkbites/950075.md?page=4)