# pitting self for being a sucker..(rambling) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 9, 2003, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453 "2003-10-09T09:57:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/1 "2003-10-09T09:57:10Z")
A sucker no more though. I’ll call her Vixen. Vixen has a smile and a look that would melt steel. She really is a sweetheart, When you read what is written below you’ll get the wrong idea. Because I truly believe **she just doesn’t know what effect her words and actions have on me.** But none the less, I am done with her. Vixen knows I’m into her in the worst way, and I’ll do anything for her. She’s been playing me since Aug 15 thats when I told her that I wanted to see her. She told me " Just wait I need some time" Fine, I thought. So I back off… Get this, then she hooks up with a guy I’ll call “Orlando”. Orlando didn’t last long, I guess he was a jerk. So I give it some time and ask again to which she says " I just need to get my life together first" Fine OK I back off. We only speak occasionally in this time period, so I tell her " If you just want to stay friends just say so". She says “No I don’t want to just be friends I just need time” OK cool. Meanwhile we only speak very rarely and very briefly at that. Untill very recently she lived in an Apt with a porch overlooking the main street in this small town so If she threw a party it was plain for all to see. I couldn’t help but to drive by her place every day because her place was situated on the _only_ main street. One night she had a party with a whole lot of guys there, I can see this, I’ll stress that I wasn’t spying. and point out that EVERYONE in this small town, given time would see. When I see this I try to call her friends(who she was with) cell ph. They dont answer.This was 9-19. I say FUCK IT IM DONE . And dont call or wave or say hi. They call me on 9-25 I dont answer. She gets ahold of me the next day informing me that her friend and her wanted me to go to the movies with them, IOW have me pay their way then dodge me the next day as per usual. So on 9-30 I call to tell her I have to say so long, goodbye and take care. Her reaction was “yeah ok see ya” Six days later on 10-6 (last mo) she calls to ask that I speak to a guy that she loaned 500 bucks to… I cannot resist her so I do. Lastnite She invites me up to her new apt… only to ask to borrow 200 for rent. I say “OK, on Fri when I get my check.” Lastnite when I left she says “lets do something, hang out tomorrow” So today I call & she blows me off and says " I’ll call later" She doesn’t so I call her…busy signal then no answer. This has happened time and again. SHE WILL BE CALLING today or Fri looking to get that money from me. The hardest thing for me to do will be to not answer her call or to answer and tell her that I can’t loan her the money\*…I cannot seem to resist her smile and that smoldering look she gives me.Or the hugs, my god those long squeezing hugs _ **she initiates…** _ Wish me luck… \*If she didn’t need that favor or the money she _never_ would have called me ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/2 "2003-10-09T10:15:02Z")
Tony, let me put this bluntly my friend. If ever I heard a case of the little head ruling the big head - this is it! 😃 Come on buddy. You’re smarter than that. You know what to do. The problem is that you just wanna do naughty things with her - and who can blame you? But the price to pay is a season pass to bizarro world. Mate… that’s too expensive a price to pay. I don’t have to say anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/3 "2003-10-09T10:39:18Z")
As a bit of encouragement: there are few sights more grimly amusing, not to mention deeply satisfying, than the expression on a pretty face that’s used to getting its way by dint of being a pretty face…when it suddenly runs smack dab, for the first time in ages, into the simple blunt power of a “no.” ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/4 "2003-10-09T10:43:48Z")
You discovered her true nature without losing your money, car, apartment, teeth or sanity, and you’re pitting yourself for being a sucker? Jeez, this means I owe myself at least a dozen good pittings. ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/5 "2003-10-09T14:08:07Z")
She’s not ready for a realtionship and not being honest with you. Get rid of her fast. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/6 "2003-10-09T14:11:44Z")
You’ll never get any and she thinks you’re a weenie. I wanted you to hear it from a friend. ---
**Author:** ![Herge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Herge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Herge)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/7 "2003-10-09T14:15:17Z")
Theres no nice way of saying this: shes using you, get rid. Just my opinion. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/8 "2003-10-09T14:18:52Z")
Fuck her, there’s always another bus, go catch it. Sounds like a manipulative bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/9 "2003-10-09T14:39:34Z")
The only thing to do is to agree wholeheartedly to loan her the money… then don’t ever actually show up with it. You’ll be leaving in a few minutes… you left your checkbook at home… you’ll come by first thing in the morning… have a bit of fun with it. When you don’t pony up the dough you promised, she’ll leave you alone. Problem solved. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/10 "2003-10-09T15:07:02Z")
[Milhouse] When she sees you’ll anything she says, she’s **bound** to respect you! [/Milhouse] ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/11 "2003-10-09T15:29:23Z")
DON’T lend her the money! Use that cash to buy yourself some self esteem. Maybe when she grows up you might get a shot at her but for now she’s just not worth a nickel of your effort. Bubba ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/12 "2003-10-09T16:30:00Z")
Drop her like a live grenade. She is nothing more than a heartless prick teaser (at best). I’m pretty damned sure you deserve better. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/13 "2003-10-09T16:59:40Z")
Ditto what everyone said. You need a bodyguard. A friend to sit with you until you are over this “addiction.” This friend will keep you from calling her or answering your phone when she calls. This friend will take away your car keys so you can’t go see her. This friend will take you to a movie or out to dinner or golfing or paint ball. You know what to do. You just need someone to help you past the first few days. Post here if you want…we’ll be your virtual bodyguards. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/14 "2003-10-09T17:27:51Z")
Thanks for the encouragement. This will be the third time I’ll have said “see ya”. I’ll be abundantly clear this time though. I have never told her not to call me again. I want to say it to her face just to see her reaction. I dont think _any_ guy has ever told her that. Shit, I hope I have as much resolve when faced with the “Black magic woman” I hope to get at her today but I think she’s dodging me (that is, until Fri). I’ll update. Oh side note, she has collateral for that loan. However I just want to cut ties with her. I know she would never talk to me untill she paid me back and picked up her collateral. Also doing this wouldn’t be severing ties. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/15 "2003-10-09T17:35:19Z")
You need distance from her…And her friends. Lose their numbers (program over them in your presets) and, if you can, have their inbound telephone numbers Blocked. Find a different way home…I don’t care if its 5 more miles out of your way: It will be worth it. Don’t go anywhere she is/will be, as she is poison to you. Don’t lend her any more money, but if you gave her any, Write It Off…you’ll never see a dime of it. ---
**Author:** ![Amberlei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e56c9b/32.png) [@Amberlei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amberlei)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/16 "2003-10-09T22:09:25Z")
Collateral or not, do not loan her the money. You don’t need a friend that treats you with so little respect. Sounds like you’ve been a nice guy, helping her out when she needs it, but it seems to be a very one-sided relationship. You give, she takes, with no reciprocation other than an occasional hug. Stand firm, be strong, you can do it. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2003, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/17 "2003-10-09T23:30:36Z")
Same as above. Give it up, you’ll never get any, she’s using you and she thinks you’re a schmuck, which you’ve proven you are - at least in relation to her. Think about this. IF you did have a relationship with her, what kind of **personal hell** would you be put through? ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/18 "2003-10-10T02:59:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zenster \* > \*\*Drop her like a live grenade. > \*\* Zenster my friend I know now you have no military experience. One does not Drop a live grenade. Bad things happen to people who drop live grenades. Well, upon reflection; “drop her like a grenade (off a cliff).” might work. Osip ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/19 "2003-10-10T03:10:58Z")
**Osip** , I honestly was tempted to add “and run like Hell” after my initial line of advice, but thought it to be unnecessary. In view of how screwed up so many people are these days, I could be wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2003, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453/20 "2003-10-10T03:21:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cheesesteak \* > \*\*The only thing to do is to agree wholeheartedly to loan her the money… then don’t ever actually show up with it. You’ll be leaving in a few minutes… you left your checkbook at home… you’ll come by first thing in the morning… have a bit of fun with it. > > When you don’t pony up the dough you promised, she’ll leave you alone. Problem solved. \*\* I think this is the best idea anyone’s come up with. She’s playing with you, why not play with her? I know I’d personally feel better after jerking her around a while if I was in your position. I’ve rarely, if ever, heard of a woman being such a blatant user. Tell her you’ll meet her somewhere and give her the money. Then stand her up. Repeatedly. And dude, just be honest with yourself: She knows _exactly_ “what effect her words and actions have” on you. Why do you think she asked to borrow money from you in particular? 'Cause she knows you’re a chump for her. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-self-for-being-a-sucker-rambling/206453.md?page=2)