# Pitting the candyasses and suitmongers who are destroying traditional playgrounds **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 11, 2005, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720 "2005-10-11T05:37:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/61 "2005-10-11T19:09:51Z")
> [@](#): > > Eerie Canal. The _Eerie_ Canal? That’s scary. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/62 "2005-10-11T19:19:56Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > The _Eerie_ Canal? > > That’s scary. I know it is not the standard spelling, I am sorry I was looking at [http://www.eriecanalmuseum.org/shop/item.asp?id=1036](http://www.eriecanalmuseum.org/shop/item.asp?id=1036) a few days ago. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/63 "2005-10-11T19:28:19Z")
> [@Barbarian](#): > > Uber-safe playgrounds are dangerous. Put all that rubber matting down, with boring equipment, and kids now end up doing crazier shit than I ever did because they don’t get hurt. > > There’s supposed to be a continuum of pain, and as a kid you learn not to get too high on that scale-- but remove the continuum, and kids go straight from ‘safe’ to ‘dead’ without any learning steps. That’s exactly right. Our community has a nifty new safe-as-heck playground, with enclosed tube slides perched a healthy 8-10’ above the ground. Impossible to fall out of them, perfectly safe. So what do the kids do? Climb the outsides of the tubes. We only accidentally found a merry-go-round at a state park nearby - what a delight! Centrifugal force at its best! When I was a tot my uncle would load a bunch of us on the merry-go-round and give it a good push & kids would fly off at every angle. Of course, when I was 4 years old I fell off a swing while learning the “lean back while going forward, bend your knees going back” maneuver (what’s that called anyway?). In an attempt to hit maximum velocity on the forward part, I put my hands on the seat and leaned back all the way. One fractured skull and 8 days in the hospital later, I’d learned my lesson. Did my parents even think about calling a lawyer? No, that would be insane. ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/64 "2005-10-11T19:56:51Z")
I grew up in the post-teeter-totter and merry-go-round era, sadly, but I did get to experience most of the other fun playground equipment, including unbelievably hot metal slides. (way more fun to run UP them when they’re that hot, and try not to fall down and scald your stomach) And my mom was awesome enough to occasionally take me to a park that still had these really BIG teeter-totters AND play on them with me… including telling me to crawl up the beam of the teeter-totter to counteract the weight difference. … man, now I really want to play on a teeter-totter. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/65 "2005-10-11T20:01:10Z")
> [@elfbabe](#): > > I grew up in the post-teeter-totter and merry-go-round era, sadly, but I did get to experience most of the other fun playground equipment, including unbelievably hot metal slides. (way more fun to run UP them when they’re that hot, and try not to fall down and scald your stomach) And my mom was awesome enough to occasionally take me to a park that still had these really BIG teeter-totters AND play on them with me… including telling me to crawl up the beam of the teeter-totter to counteract the weight difference. > > … man, now I really want to play on a teeter-totter. Asimple See-Saw is simple to build. You need a sturdy pivot point. A bike Rack would be great or a strong split rail fence with the upper cross piece removed. Get a large plank and attach too sturdy pieces of wood with a small gap in the center to accomodate your pivet. Instant unsafe See-Saw without handles. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/66 "2005-10-11T20:31:37Z")
> [@elfbabe](#): > > I grew up in the post-teeter-totter and merry-go-round era, sadly, but I did get to experience most of the other fun playground equipment, including unbelievably hot metal slides. (way more fun to run UP them when they’re that hot, and try not to fall down and scald your stomach) And my mom was awesome enough to occasionally take me to a park that still had these really BIG teeter-totters AND play on them with me… including telling me to crawl up the beam of the teeter-totter to counteract the weight difference. > > … man, now I really want to play on a teeter-totter. :eek: You poor child (though I could have sworn you were about my age…but maybe up in Canada it’s all different. 😛 ) I was in elementary school in the late 80’s and early 90’s, and we had all the fun stuff. High monkey bars, rings, swings (all over dirt, not concrete, though), a zip line, jungle gyms, a wooden structure thingy with a ramp, a tire ramp (complete with holes to get your leg caught in as you ran up), a tube slide (did you know sliding in an enclosed PVC pipe gives you an AMAZING static charge to shock people with?), a regular METAL slide, and a ladder in the middle. That thing was swet. But I must confess, the most dangerous of all the playground equipment (Hell, even in MY day I can’t see how they allowed it) was the climbing bars. It was on the “big kids” playground (we had one playground with most of the fun stuff for the K-3rd graders, and a smaller one for the 4-6th graders with just a couple of swing sets, some rings, and a soccer field…and this item) It was basically a box made out of logs, standing on it’s side (so the long part goes into the air.) It was six feet across and anywhere from 8 to 10 feet high, and two metal poles, suspended at the top and held at the bottom with chains, going up it. The purpsoe? Why, to climb up, of course! Like the rope from gym class, only outside and even harder to climb, since stainless steel has a lot less friction. We would race each other to see who could climb up to the top the fastest. And in all that time noe of us ever fell. I went back to that playground a few years ago just to see it, and, of course, it was gone. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/67 "2005-10-11T20:40:21Z")
I guess it is safe to say that the old Firepoles are all gone from playgrounds now. Those were great and a little scary. I remember we had one on the 3rd grade playground. We had swing gates, great for the accidental high speed smack to a distracted fellow playgrounder. There was a giant climbing frame of chains that went 12’+ high. (4th grade I believe). It was all great. See-saws and swings were the boring safe equipment back then. Of course we had to watch out for Saber-toothed Tigers. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/68 "2005-10-11T20:54:42Z")
Another one here who played “Smear the Queer” at recess. And I’m a _girl_! And no, boys didn’t play separately–it was definitely a coed game. We also played “Pop the Whip.” Everybody joins hands (to make one long snake) and the leader starts running, taking all kinds of twists and turns. The poor kids at the end of the snake had to hang on for dear life and more often than not, were sent flying across the playground. At my daughter’s school, they play jump rope, but not the way we did when I was in school. The teachers turn the rope and they tap the child on the ankle three times before they begin–to give them warning, you see. None of that dangerous jumping into an already turning rope for them! ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/69 "2005-10-11T21:03:43Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > The only sucky thing was that the slides got too hot, or when they weren’t “slippy” enough, and you kind of didn’t slide so much as jerk down. Not much fun. Not “slippy” enough? Why, that’s what the sand box is for! You take a bucket of sand from the sand box, climb to the ladder at the top of the slide, and pour the sand down the slide! Voila! Instant slippiness! Oh, and I _loved_ this part of the article: > [@](#): > > “Kids aren’t using them the way they’re supposed to,” said the agency’s director, Donna Thompson Yes, Og forbid our kids should be _innovative_ in the way they play with stuff! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/70 "2005-10-11T21:07:28Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > That’s what we called it in Australia too. > > No ball involved; just lots of pummelling. If coop was a RAAF brat, and was attending a RAAF school, it’s a fair guess the name was spawned by some kids from Australia. Down here in Adelaide it shared the names “British Bulldog” and “Red Rover”. Both games were the same, and resulted in massive pummelling. Our other favourite game was to get a tennis ball, soak it thoroughly and then whip it at the runners as hard as you could. Kinda like a masochistic version of dodgeball. That left some massive bruises, and some kid even got his nose broken. But none of our parents sued. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/71 "2005-10-11T21:10:46Z")
> [@Chanteuse](#): > > We also played “Pop the Whip.” Everybody joins hands (to make one long snake) and the leader starts running, taking all kinds of twists and turns. The poor kids at the end of the snake had to hang on for dear life and more often than not, were sent flying across the playground. We called it [Crack the Whip](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crack_the_Whip), which apparently dates back to 1890s England. I want to go play that game now. ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/72 "2005-10-11T21:16:53Z")
> [@Nutty Bunny](#): > > Now, I noticed that they’ve recently replaced the good, sturdy steel playground equipment with plastic. Yeah, and I think that plastic shit is more dangerous than the good old steel shit given the charge you build up. Or, as my friend’s four-year-old put it: “No, AuntCoyote, you touch the bars _before_ you touch me. I don’t wanna zap.” ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/73 "2005-10-11T21:26:42Z")
I remember cracking my head on steel monkey bars, pinching my fingers in swingsets innumerable times, getting splinters from the wooden framework, getting burned on the slide in the middle of a 40degC summer, and landing flat on my ass and knocking the wind out of myself from falling off of a merry-go-round after trying to stand up when someone was making it go 'round uber-fast. My mum told me to be more careful. And I was, so I didn’t (hardly) end up doing those things again. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/74 "2005-10-11T21:31:28Z")
And people wonder why kids get into trouble. THey can’t do anything anymore - but kids love to roughhouse. Roughhousing is practically all they do! Geez, we may as well just send them to school from dawn to dusk, and never let them leave class. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/75 "2005-10-11T21:35:51Z")
> [@Sierra Indigo](#): > > Our other favourite game was to get a tennis ball, soak it thoroughly and then whip it at the runners as hard as you could. Kinda like a masochistic version of dodgeball. That left some massive bruises, and some kid even got his nose broken. But none of our parents sued. We used to play a game called Wall Ball. It involved as many people as you could get together, a tennis ball and a wall of sufficient height. One person throws the ball at the wall and everyone tries to catch it on the bounce. Not only is the ensuing scrum an adventure, the only other rules were these: If you touch the ball without catching it, you have to run for the wall and touch it. Should someone get the ball and hit the wall with it before you touch, you have to assume the position on the wall and they get a free shot at your backside (we generally designated the head as off-limits, with penalties). ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/76 "2005-10-11T21:40:22Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > We used to play a game called Wall Ball. It involved as many people as you could get together, a tennis ball and a wall of sufficient height. One person throws the ball at the wall and everyone tries to catch it on the bounce. Not only is the ensuing scrum an adventure, the only other rules were these: If you touch the ball without catching it, you have to run for the wall and touch it. Should someone get the ball and hit the wall with it before you touch, you have to assume the position on the wall and they get a free shot at your backside (we generally designated the head as off-limits, with penalties). See, and games like this taught us to be fast, ruthless and not the last one up against the wall. Or to get searing, painful revenge on the butthead who left a whopping great bloody bruise on our arses. I see where this is heading. They’re trying to train the next generation of corporate drones early. Kids today are going to be all about “fairness” and “equitability” and “shifting paradigms”. Soon they’re going to put cubes in schools. Refer to playtime as “Networking the plastic jungle”. Spooky. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/77 "2005-10-11T21:40:24Z")
> [@lno](#): > > We called it [Crack the Whip](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crack_the_Whip), which apparently dates back to 1890s England. I want to go play that game now. We called it Crack the Whip! Also, like Trunk, we called the ball game “Kill the Man with the Ball”. We also played dodgeball - in gym class, no less! And nobody died! Nobody even got seriously injured! The worst injury I remember from middle school was a kid who broke his arm while playing football at recess, and IIRC, that was just because he landed on it badly, not because he was tackled, though it was over 10 years ago. Yeah, dodgeball hurts, but not that much. Crack the Whip or whatever you call it won’t hurt you. All this makes me wonder what kind of playground equipment will be available when I have kids. Maybe I should start buying some of the fun stuff while it still exists and store it away for later\* \*By “store” I mean I’ll set said equipment up in our living room and climb on it like an oversized spider monkey. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/78 "2005-10-11T21:42:03Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > We used to play a game called Wall Ball. It involved as many people as you could get together, a tennis ball and a wall of sufficient height. One person throws the ball at the wall and everyone tries to catch it on the bounce. Not only is the ensuing scrum an adventure, the only other rules were these: If you touch the ball without catching it, you have to run for the wall and touch it. Should someone get the ball and hit the wall with it before you touch, you have to assume the position on the wall and they get a free shot at your backside (we generally designated the head as off-limits, with penalties). We played a similar game, only we called it “Branding.” ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/79 "2005-10-11T21:48:24Z")
I never really got hurt on a playground, and I think I came along just as they were starting to phase out the good stuff (I’m 29). That being said, if I’d broken an arm…I’d have been taken to a hospital. I can’t imagine lawyers being involved unless I’d died or something. ---
**Author:** ![KSO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@KSO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KSO)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720/80 "2005-10-11T21:51:01Z")
Right after 9/11, all the networks showed footage of an al Qaeda training camp, which included the terrorists training on the exact same monkey bars we had at my elementary school–the plain rectangular metal ones where you could either haul yourself up on top and crawl to the other side or do a sort of alternating hanging climb from end to end, or just hang there while other kids pried your fingers off the bar, or hang upside down and hope you didn’t slip. I did slip once and ended up with most of my face scraped off from the sand. Our playground was separated into two areas, one for the smaller kids and one for the bigger kids, separated by a short chain link fence. One game was to run at the fence, and swing yourself over the top without losing a finger. I miss those days. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-the-candyasses-and-suitmongers-who-are-destroying-traditional-playgrounds/325720.md?page=5)