# Pitting UltraVires **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 22, 2018, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734 "2018-09-22T16:05:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/61 "2018-09-24T16:03:00Z")
Exactly how loud and long was his wife screaming, anyway? That sounds a little bizarre to be so thoroughly traumatized. I mean, a scream, sure, but it’s not like you just found your best friends hacked apart by Jason Vorhees. This feels to me more like a made up example that wasn’t really thought through. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Lance\_Turbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lance_turbo/32/6156_2.png) [@Lance\_Turbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lance_Turbo)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/62 "2018-09-24T16:44:09Z")
> [@Paranoid\_Randroid](#): > > This feels to me more like a made up example that wasn’t really thought through. YMMV. That’s what it feels like to me as well. He decided to invent a scenario in which it would be completely reasonable for a man to clamp his hand over a woman’s mouth… and that is the scenario he came up with. This trained legal mind. There are perfectly reasonable situations to clamp your hand over a woman’s mouth. Like if you don’t want the police to come to house. Really. That’s one of his arguments. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/63 "2018-09-24T18:50:06Z")
> [@Paranoid\_Randroid](#): > > Exactly how loud and long was his wife screaming, anyway? That sounds a little bizarre to be so thoroughly traumatized. I mean, a scream, sure, but it’s not like you just found your best friends hacked apart by Jason Vorhees. This feels to me more like a made up example that wasn’t really thought through. YMMV. Y’know, you may be on to something. I don’t remember all the details, but this West Virginia dude claims his wife found a dead iguana in the back yard, right? Assuming that’s not some really gross metaphor, well… I’ve lived in Appalachia near on two decades now, and I think I know our wildlife pretty well (true story: on Friday, I had to interrupt the speaker at an outdoor field trip to preemptively calm my class before they noticed the black bear ambling by us about twenty yards away). And if he’d said his wife found a dead possum, or a dead groundhog, or a dead raccoon, or even a dead rattlesnake, that’d make sense. But a dead iguana? In West Virginia? That reads like someone who’s got all their knowledge of Appalachia from watching **Justified**. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/64 "2018-09-24T20:04:13Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > And if he’d said his wife found a dead possum, or a dead groundhog, or a dead raccoon, or even a dead rattlesnake, that’d make sense. > > But a dead iguana? > > In West Virginia? > > That reads like someone who’s got all their knowledge of Appalachia from watching **Justified**. 😕 “That’d make sense”? Who the hell **screams** with neighbor-disturbing volume and persistence just because of finding **any** small local wildlife cadaver in the yard? I personally found a dead possum in my yard when I was somewhere in my mid-teens. I was alone in the yard. The extent of my vocal reaction, IIRC, was one short sharp squeak/squawk and an “Euuwwrrg!” of disgust. Then I fetched a shovel and buried the poor thing. Standing there screaming loudly and persistently simply because of the presence of a dead animal—one of the many local animals that I knew lived in abundance all around me and all eventually died and necessarily had to be dead **somewhere** or other—would have struck me as a sign of outright derangement. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/65 "2018-09-24T20:07:35Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > But a dead iguana? > > In West Virginia? Was it run over by an electric lawnmower? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/66 "2018-09-24T20:11:20Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > But a dead iguana? > > In West Virginia? At this time of day? At this latitude? Located entirely in your garden? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/67 "2018-09-24T20:14:01Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > 😕 “That’d make sense”? Who the hell **screams** with neighbor-disturbing volume and persistence just because of finding **any** small local wildlife cadaver in the yard? I dunno, Kimstu. First, here’s the whole original post: > [@Can Democrats actually stop the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-democrats-actually-stop-the-nomination-of-brett-kavanaugh/820733/2445): > > Regarding covering the mouth when screaming: Several years ago I was sitting in the living room and my then wife was in the yard and started screaming. I ran outside and found that she had discovered a dead iguana in the bushes. She was still screaming. > > I covered her mouth with my hand as I did not want the entire neighborhood and the police over at the house. > > Perhaps this was a similar situation. There was a misunderstanding and Kav was saying “Okay, Christ, we won’t have sex. No need to alert the world!” If it were in West Virginia, I’d want some serious backstory. How the hell does a dead iguana end up in the bushes? And iguanas aren’t always small: they can be 5’ long or longer. And I’m not sure that many people would scream (and keep screaming long enough for their spouse to get up from the living room, run outside, and identify the source of the screaming) at the sight of any wildlife corpse, familiar or exotic. My best guess is that this happened somewhere away from WV, maybe in Florida or somewhere; and that Ultravires is taking some liberties with the story to make it cast attempted rapists in a better light, as one does. ---
**Author:** ![steatopygia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steatopygia/32/3132_2.png) [@steatopygia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steatopygia)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/68 "2018-09-24T20:34:02Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > Was it run over by an electric lawnmower? My first thought. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/69 "2018-09-24T21:23:39Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > At this time of day? At this latitude? Located entirely in your garden? May I see it? ---
**Author:** ![Reindeer\_Flotilla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reindeer_flotilla/32/3024_2.png) [@Reindeer\_Flotilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reindeer_Flotilla)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/70 "2018-09-24T21:52:30Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > May I see it? No. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/71 "2018-09-24T21:53:53Z")
It’s just like yours. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/72 "2018-09-24T22:25:27Z")
> [@steatopygia](#): > > My first thought. Are iguanas particularly know to fall victim to electric mowers? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![steatopygia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steatopygia/32/3132_2.png) [@steatopygia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steatopygia)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/73 "2018-09-24T22:29:03Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Are iguanas particularly know to fall victim to electric mowers? :dubious: It is a reference to a made up story posted by a now banned member. Post implausible anecdote = lawn mower story. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/74 "2018-09-25T01:09:03Z")
> [@steatopygia](#): > > It is a reference to a made up story posted by a now banned member. Post implausible anecdote = lawn mower story. What does it mean, “Post implausible anecdote”? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/75 "2018-09-25T01:24:39Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > What does it mean, “Post implausible anecdote”? Excellent impersonation of **D’Anconia**. ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/76 "2018-09-25T01:42:04Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > It’s just like yours. What’s the use of having it then? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2018, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/77 "2018-09-25T01:47:37Z")
No use. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2018, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/78 "2018-09-27T22:35:09Z")
> [@Can Democrats actually stop the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-democrats-actually-stop-the-nomination-of-brett-kavanaugh/820733/4248): > > I skipped ahead since the last time I posted. I will review the thread later. I have only cried twice since my father’s funeral: > > 1. When I got married again, > 2. When Kavanaugh talked about his daughter praying for the “woman.” > > He did not do this. Well _gosh_ when you put it so eloquently… ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2018, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/79 "2018-09-27T23:31:07Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > Well _gosh_ when you put it so eloquently… What got me is that he’s a lawyer, and he thinks seeing a guy cry means that they aren’t guilty? I mean, come on! Sure, crying can be legitimate, but it’s also emotional manipulative tactic number 1. It should never be enough to tell you if someone is guilty or innocent. Hell, I’m sure some defendants coach their clients to cry! ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/80 "2018-09-28T05:39:04Z")
> [@Can Democrats actually stop the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-democrats-actually-stop-the-nomination-of-brett-kavanaugh/820733/4248): > > > [@Can Democrats actually stop the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-democrats-actually-stop-the-nomination-of-brett-kavanaugh/820733/4248): > > > > I skipped ahead since the last time I posted. I will review the thread later. I have only cried twice since my father’s funeral: > > > > 1. When I got married again, > > 2. When Kavanaugh talked about his daughter praying for the “woman.” > > > > He did not do this. > > Well _gosh_ when you put it so eloquently… Oh for fuck’s sake. The man is ill. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734.md?page=5)