# Pitting UltraVires **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 22, 2018, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734 "2018-09-22T16:05:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2018, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/81 "2018-09-29T00:13:17Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > 😕 “That’d make sense”? Who the hell **screams** with neighbor-disturbing volume and persistence just because of finding **any** small local wildlife cadaver in the yard? I do believe that’s something you’re meant to gloss over, accept as read simply to make the story work, because it can’t take the weight of inquiry. Pushing on it brings the whole edifice down. It’s like Santa Claus, or the idea that the Republican Party is the party of sober, rational adults who keep the over-emotional idealists in check. Questioning it is in bad taste, you see. It’s a sign of poor breeding, and probably a defective stock, to put a point on it. ---
**Author:** ![Lance\_Turbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lance_turbo/32/6156_2.png) [@Lance\_Turbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lance_Turbo)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/82 "2018-10-05T15:31:44Z")
West Virginia’s dumbest lawyer is presenting his closing argument. > [@Can Democrats actually stop the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-democrats-actually-stop-the-nomination-of-brett-kavanaugh/820733/6224): > > 1. Not only that, but she should have some serious corroboration from the person that gave her the ride home. She said that she does not remember, but from her testimony, she should remember. Why? > > She testified that the house near the country club was not within walking distance of her home. She also testified that she hid in the bathroom until believing it was safe to leave and bolted/ran/got the hell out of the front door. > > So there she is in 1982 (and no, she did not say that she used a cellphone) and needing a ride. She either: > > a) Walked 7 miles in the dark. > b) Walked back into the house she just escaped from to use the phone to call a ride. > c) Walked to a neighbor’s house to use the phone to call a ride. > > Any of these would implant an indelible memory in her mind, and the person on the receiving end of that call would have been sufficiently worried to make further inquiry. Why would it implant an indelible memory? Because you said so. This is crazy. You don’t get to decide how other people should remember stuff. > [@Can Democrats actually stop the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-democrats-actually-stop-the-nomination-of-brett-kavanaugh/820733/6224): > > 1. Further, was she barefoot? If not, then the entire assault happened with her shoes on. Not impossible, but something that to me seems out of place. This is bizarre. Like seriously it seems out of place to him that someone didn’t take their shoes off before being assaulted. I don’t even know where to start. > [@Can Democrats actually stop the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-democrats-actually-stop-the-nomination-of-brett-kavanaugh/820733/6224): > > 1. If she does not recall the house, why the upstairs bathroom? In my experience, an upstairs bathroom in a two story house is reserved for the homeowners. They also have a downstairs bathroom for guest use. The use of an upstairs bathroom seems unusual that she would not have familiarity with a house. Again, not a deal breaker, but it raised a question in my mind. This part kind of gets to the root of his malfunction. He seems almost entirely incapable of putting himself in someone’s shoes if it involves something outside his experience. Using the bathroom on the second floor of a house is completely unremarkable. Especially at a party with drinking. > [@Can Democrats actually stop the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-democrats-actually-stop-the-nomination-of-brett-kavanaugh/820733/6224): > > 1. What were Judge and Kavanaugh doing upstairs? Just hanging out and waiting for the next girl to use the restroom? There were only two girls there. It might be a while before someone comes up there. Nobody at the party said, “Where in the hell are Mark and Brett?” They both were sufficiently hidden and quiet that she did not know they were there? She said she didn’t see them. Wouldn’t she have taken an immediate left or be facing forward to see these guys? Why would she be facing the bedroom to be pushed in the back? There was a bathroom there. He can’t imagine what someone might be in an area of the house where there is a bathroom. He is weirdly hung up on the idea that the second floor of a house is somehow off limits at a teen drinking party. > [@Can Democrats actually stop the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-democrats-actually-stop-the-nomination-of-brett-kavanaugh/820733/6224): > > She also equivocated on several things: > > 1. Her fear of flying. > > 2. The second front door: Was it claustrophobia or for hosting Google interns? The claustrophobia does not make sense. She had no trouble getting out of the house once she reached the single front door. If she asked for a fire escape in the bedroom, that would make more sense. She went from 1982-2007 with only a single front door and never expressed a need for a second one? > > 3. Not telling her parents: Was it trauma or because she did not want to tell them she was at a beer party? She didn’t equivocate on any of those things. The weird idea that sprang up among Kavanaugh defenders in the last couple of days that fear of flying means incapable of flying is nuts. Pretty much every commercial flight with more than a dozen passengers on it includes at least one with a fear of flying. A fire escape from a ground floor bedroom? What the fuck? Finally, sometimes people have more than one reason for doing things. This is bonkers. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/83 "2018-10-05T15:51:11Z")
> [@Lance\_Turbo](#): > > This is bizarre. Like seriously it seems out of place to him that someone didn’t take their shoes off before being assaulted. I don’t even know where to start. Maybe he thinks assaults only happen in mosques. Or maybe Japan. One of them foreign places. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/84 "2018-10-05T15:59:24Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Y’know, you may be on to something. I don’t remember all the details, but this West Virginia dude claims his wife found a dead iguana in the back yard, right? Assuming that’s not some really gross metaphor, well
 > > I’ve lived in Appalachia near on two decades now, and I think I know our wildlife pretty well (true story: on Friday, I had to interrupt the speaker at an outdoor field trip to preemptively calm my class before they noticed the black bear ambling by us about twenty yards away). And if he’d said his wife found a dead possum, or a dead groundhog, or a dead raccoon, or even a dead rattlesnake, that’d make sense. > > But a dead iguana? > > In West Virginia? > > That reads like someone who’s got all their knowledge of Appalachia from watching **Justified**. I have no intention of defending **UltraVires** ’ various idiocies, but my own late mother once found an iguana in her back yard (in a suburb of Johnstown, PA). No screaming involved; she just called the police, who were a bit skeptical of what she was reporting, but eventually came and took it away. It’s not all that surprising; people keep iguanas as pets; sometimes they get away. ---
**Author:** ![Lance\_Turbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lance_turbo/32/6156_2.png) [@Lance\_Turbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lance_Turbo)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/85 "2018-10-05T16:01:03Z")
**Evil Economist** sums it up better than I did. > [@Can Democrats actually stop the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-democrats-actually-stop-the-nomination-of-brett-kavanaugh/820733/6268): > > Yeah, I doubt that. The details you point out are just you demonstrating your ignorance about: > > [ul] > [li]How memory works[/li][li]That people in America in the 80s typically wore their shoes inside[/li][li]That lots of houses in in middle-class and lower neighborhoods in the 80’s didn’t have first floor bathrooms[/li][li]That lots of people don’t tell their parents about sexual assault[/li][li]That people in 1982 didn’t have cellphones[/li][li]How fear of flying works[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2018, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/86 "2018-10-05T16:41:15Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > 
 if he’d said his wife found a dead possum, or a dead groundhog, or a dead raccoon, or even a dead rattlesnake, that’d make sense. > > But a dead iguana? > > In West Virginia? > > That reads like someone who’s got all their knowledge of Appalachia from watching **Justified**. You are assuming he can tell an iguana from a groundhog, raccoon or rattlesnake, that’s quite optimistic there. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2018, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/87 "2018-10-06T14:06:46Z")
They’s all good eatin’. ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2018, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/88 "2018-10-26T17:03:57Z")
We know he’s a white nationalist, right? Cuz he’s _definitely_ a white nationalist. > [@Trump and the right's immigration stances are pushing the left towards open borders.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-and-the-rights-immigration-stances-are-pushing-the-left-towards-open-borders/823407/118): > > Many people in this thread are saying that we should take them all and have open borders. > > The left has lost its mind on this issue. 14,000 people. That’s about the number of men used in Pickett’s Charge. It is an absolute invasion. To say that they can all just walk in this country is one of the main reasons that Trump got elected to stop. > > A country has a right to its own identity, its own borders, and its own internal security. This country has become the most prosperous in the world and the left is telling the vast majority of people in this country that there is something wrong with wanting to keep it that way. It is simply why there are countries in the first place. > > This screed of racism, racism, racism, is a well worn ploy of the left and is used to stifle debate on this issue as well as most others. The majority of people would not support 14,000 poor, uneducated, and illiterate white Canadians coming into this country to tax the social welfare system either. Racism is an absolute red herring. > > To the extent that we want to maintain our cultural identity and not have “press one for English” or have dual language signs in public places, there is not a damn thing wrong with that, and when the left keeps telling us that, we keep voting Republican. Someone needs to lay off the Tucker Carlson. Oof. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2018, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/89 "2018-10-26T18:33:59Z")
This “cultural identity” of which you speak? Is it Willie Nelson or Justin Bieber? Rachel Maddow or Sean Hannity? Pizza or chimichangas? _Kim chee_ or Tabasco? Hippies or evangelicals? Mormon or Catholics? Coors or beer? ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2018, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/90 "2018-10-26T18:41:34Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by UltraVires > > 
 > To the extent that we want to maintain our cultural identity and not have “press one for English” or have dual language signs in public places, there is not a damn thing wrong with that, and when the left keeps telling us that, we keep voting Republican. Yes, the right has long been upset about “Press One for English.” What’s next, websites in more than one language? The horror! ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/91 "2018-10-27T15:08:17Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > This “cultural identity” of which you speak? Is it Willie Nelson or Justin Bieber? [Don’t mess with Willie.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfiqENNv47Q) ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/92 "2018-10-27T15:48:37Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Yes, the right has long been upset about “Press One for English.” > > What’s next, websites in more than one language? The horror! In Wingnut Hell, the recordings all say “para español, oprima numero uno o quĂ©dese en la lĂ­nea. _Press 2 for English_.” :eek: :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/93 "2018-10-27T18:31:17Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Yeah, I was already aware that **UltraVires** is a bit of a dickhead . . . . That, or an iguana. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2018, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/94 "2018-10-27T20:31:22Z")
> [@Trump and the right's immigration stances are pushing the left towards open borders.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/trump-and-the-rights-immigration-stances-are-pushing-the-left-towards-open-borders/823407/118): > > To the extent that we want to maintain our cultural identity and not have “press one for English” or have dual language signs in public places, there is not a damn thing wrong with that, and when the left keeps telling us that, we keep voting Republican. In much of Canada we have the phenomenon well described by Dave Barry, to wit: “English and French live side by side and have learned, through centuries of peaceful coexistence on the same land, to hate each other.” Thus in much of the country we are plagued by a button to press if you want the dialog in French (or, heaven forfend, to have to press the button in order to get English) and one can see where all this hate and tension leads. When you lose your cultural identity it leads first to legal abortion, then to gay marriage, and finally to the depravity of legalized mary-hwanna. This can only happen in a society where you have to press a button in order to speak in the proper and decent language that God intended instead of some foreign jabbering that no one understands, or at least, where you have to listen to some jabbering telling the foreigner to press the button to hear more jabbering instead of decent proper English. Decent society cannot withstand that kind of moral corruption, and it falls apart at the seams, or tears at the seams, or some such tailoresque metaphor. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2018, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/95 "2018-10-28T03:45:29Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > In much of Canada we have the phenomenon well described by Dave Barry, to wit: “English and French live side by side and have learned, through centuries of peaceful coexistence on the same land, to hate each other.” Thus in much of the country we are plagued by a button to press if you want the dialog in French (or, heaven forfend, to have to press the button in order to get English) and one can see where all this hate and tension leads. When you lose your cultural identity it leads first to legal abortion, then to gay marriage, and finally to the depravity of legalized mary-hwanna. This can only happen in a society where you have to press a button in order to speak in the proper and decent language that God intended instead of some foreign jabbering that no one understands, or at least, where you have to listen to some jabbering telling the foreigner to press the button to hear more jabbering instead of decent proper English. Decent society cannot withstand that kind of moral corruption, and it falls apart at the seams, or tears at the seams, or some such tailoresque metaphor. Oh, the humanity! â˜č 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2018, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/96 "2018-10-28T15:39:01Z")
You reap what you sew. That’s Scripture! ---
**Author:** ![Lance\_Turbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lance_turbo/32/6156_2.png) [@Lance\_Turbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lance_Turbo)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2018, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/97 "2018-11-05T01:31:32Z")
West Virginia’s dumbest lawyer on Charlottesville
 > [@Can a Trump supporter explain to me how fake news works?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-trump-supporter-explain-to-me-how-fake-news-works/823919/32): > > After Charlottesville, which was a demonstration between primarily people who wanted confederate monuments removed and those who wanted to keep the confederate monuments. Of course with any demonstration, a few radical idiots showed up, modern day Nazis, KKK members and a guy who killed a woman with his car. The protests became violent. After many posters, including me, pointed out that this was the Unite the Right rally organized by white supremacists for white supremacists he responds reasonably. > [@Can a Trump supporter explain to me how fake news works?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-trump-supporter-explain-to-me-how-fake-news-works/823919/41): > > Huh. I’m seems as if I was wrong about the organization of the event and will eat my crow. And then immediately doubles down in the next sentence. > [@Can a Trump supporter explain to me how fake news works?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-trump-supporter-explain-to-me-how-fake-news-works/823919/41): > > However, it doesn’t change what Trump said or the meaning of it. He very likely misspoke and was talking about the confederate monument supporters, or he is Adolf Hitler, Jr. (Remember, there were several demonstrations in Charlottesville that summer not attended or supported by these hate groups). “Even though my facts were wrong, my opinion is still right,” is not eating crow you jackass. Also the other major protests that summer in Charlottesville were also organized by white supremeacists. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2018, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/98 "2018-11-06T14:32:47Z")
Guys, we are all laughing at him now
 but what happens if you end up in some kind of “The Producers” type situation in which you absolutely, positively have to wreck your life and end up in jail? Yeah, you’re going to need a lawyer who will argue that a finger isn’t an object. He’s also the guy you can count on to ask a witness, “So you call them fingers
 _but have you ever seen them fing?!?_ I withdraw the question!!” Sure, you might not ever NEED to be convicted of a crime. But if you do, you’ll come crawling back to him! ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2018, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/99 "2018-11-07T00:16:49Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > Guys, we are all laughing at him now
 but what happens if you end up in some kind of “The Producers” type situation in which you absolutely, positively have to wreck your life and end up in jail? > > Yeah, you’re going to need a lawyer who will argue that a finger isn’t an object. He’s also the guy you can count on to ask a witness, “So you call them fingers
 _but have you ever seen them fing?!?_ I withdraw the question!!” > > Sure, you might not ever NEED to be convicted of a crime. But if you do, you’ll come crawling back to him! I can’t stand the subject of this thread. I find him to be an idiot, a terrible debater, and disingenuous in the extreme. However, I thought he was treated pretty unfairly in that thread. I thought there was an actual interesting question in there (which I posted over there – feel free to call me on it), but the SDMB couldn’t get past his history. I guess he’s being treated unfairly there because he’s such an asshole elsewhere, but that thread was still a shitshow for no real reason other than that. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2018, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734/100 "2018-11-07T01:37:13Z")
In one of the immigration threads of a few weeks ago, the dumbest lawyer in West Virginia scoffed at the idea of interviewing immigrants. He called it a worthless exercise, because they would just lie. [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21290160&postcount=150](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=21290160&postcount=150) I still think about this at night and shake my head in amazement. This man claims to have a career in the criminal justice system. A system that is heavily based on interviewing suspects and witnesses and determining their credibility based on their answers. When he’s in a courtroom, does he think it’s ridiculous to ask questions of the witnesses because they’re just going to lie anyway? Does he think that police questioning is a worthless exercise? Does he not know that police have independent information when they question people? Doesn’t this idiot realize that when they question people applying for asylum that they actually have independent information on the specifics of the terrorism in their home country, and that this information can be used to verify or disprove their stories? No way this guy is a real lawyer. He’s way too dumb. I think that sexual abuser got the lawyer he deserves. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pitting-ultravires/821734.md?page=6)