# Pizza Hut's New Menu **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 16, 2015, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014 "2015-01-16T19:56:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/41 "2015-01-20T17:27:59Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > Yeah, this is what really confused us. They make the entire rest of the pizza, cook it, _slice it_… and then just throw a big handful of raw spinach on top? That’s it? > > Is this really anyone’s expectation of what spinach on a pizza pie is supposed to be? [Yes.](http://blog.beaumontenterprise.com/cat5/2014/08/05/crown-pizzas-taste-as-eclectic-as-the-atmosphere/#25580101=0) First item in that review: > [@](#): > > The Vodka Pie ($14.95), featuring a sauce made with Texas’ Tito’s Vodka, is topped with crushed red pepper, fresh garlic, ricotta cheese, shredded mozzarella, Italian fennel sausage, shredded parm and fresh spinach. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/42 "2015-01-20T17:39:50Z")
The pics I see there seem to show better incorporation of the spinach than what we got at PH (despite being for a place that does “creative” pizzas). Not sure what the quote is to illustrate. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/43 "2015-01-20T17:42:09Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > The pics I see there seem to show better incorporation of the spinach than what we got at PH (despite being for a place that does “creative” pizzas). I’ve had that pizza. Ended up with almost as many spinach leaves on the serving tray as in my mouth. > [@Peremensoe](#): > > Not sure what the quote is to illustrate. Some people don’t like searching through linked pages to find out why the page was linked in the first place. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/44 "2015-01-20T17:56:41Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > People should, of course, have their food how they enjoy it. That said, if a person is doing something like squirting hot sauce on every individual bite of food, is any flavor other than the hot sauce detectable? I have an adult stepson who buys, and consumes, all the most potent hot sauces and pepper extracts he can find. He douses his food with it at every meal. His food, his choice, but I’m willing to bet he could be served canned dog food and wouldn’t be able to tell it from Chateaubriand by the time he gets done “seasoning” it. You can definitely have extremely spicy cuisine that is complex and nuanced. I spent a couple of years in Sichuan Province, China, which is without question one of the greatest culinary cultures you’ll find on the planet. From the humble street cart to haute cuisine, Sichuan food is justifiably famous for the skilled use of a range of flavors and ingredients. And the tradition goes way back, with a long history of master chefs and culinary innovators, every bit as storied as anything you’d find in France. Sichuan food is also, with a handful of exceptions, extremely spicy. It’s hard to really explain how spicy Sichuan food is. Sometimes a dish will be basically a few morsels of meat buried in a pile of dried red peppers, or swimming in a sea of spicy oil. One of my favorite dishes is a plate of grilled hot peppers in a light sauce. Any given meal will probably have dried red peppers, fresh hot peppers, spicy oil, pickled peppers, and Sichuan peppercorn, which creates a unique numbing sensation. Even fancy restaurants provide a huge stack of napkins for the inevitable teary eyes and cleared sinuses. Sichuanese people believe that spicy food is well suited to their climate, which varies between damp and drizzly and oppressively hot and humid. It’s also a good fit for the local drinking culture, with copious weak beer and strong liquor. After returning from Sichuan, it took me a long time to find meals satisfying again. It felt like dishes were missing an entire dimension of taste. My spicy-calibration stayed over-high for maybe a year before returning to a high-normal. But yeah, just dousing everything in the same sauce, whatever it is, probably isn’t a foodie best-practice. Sichuan cuisine creates variety through using a huge range of different peppers and preparations, playing with texture, and drawing on different fermented ingredients. Just throwing hot sauce on Western Cuisine, which is conservative with texture and relies on more subtle flavors, isn’t the same effect. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/45 "2015-01-20T18:30:19Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Just throwing hot sauce on Western Cuisine, which is conservative with texture and relies on more subtle flavors, isn’t the same effect. The cuisine he grew up eating in Ukraine is about as far from spicy as it is possible to get. Maybe this is some sort of over-reaction to that on his part. ---
**Author:** ![FuriousGeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecae2f/32.png) [@FuriousGeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FuriousGeorge)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/46 "2015-01-20T18:54:46Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > True or False: They used to also offer lemon-pepper wings on their menu, no? > > Also, the traditional bone-in un-breaded wings are the only way to go, IMO. I am not sure about the lemon pepper but sounds vaguely familiar. I would defintiely agree with oyu on the bone in traditional wings… but went bone out (chicken nuggets essentialy) this time to satisfy everyone eating. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/47 "2015-01-20T19:11:58Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > People should, of course, have their food how they enjoy it. That said, if a person is doing something like squirting hot sauce on every individual bite of food, is any flavor other than the hot sauce detectable? Yes, but there is a limit. Sriracha is a fairly mild sauce for my tastes. But I wouldn’t want pure Sriracha sauce as base to my pizza, because it would just end up tasting like Sriracha and nothing else, because there would be so much of it. (And Sriracha in great quantities is just too sweet for my tastes; I’d imagine honey Sriracha would be even more overpowering in the sweet department. I like it for a little chili-garlic accent in a meal, but it’s not what I go for when I want to bring the heat.) But something like a dab of habanero or some other high-octane hot sauce in a meal–that brings the heat and a little flavor without overwhelming the base flavors of the dish. But it varies so much from individual to individual, based on what they’re used to. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/48 "2015-01-20T19:21:38Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > I’ve had that pizza. Ended up with almost as many spinach leaves on the serving tray as in my mouth. OK. That does sound like a compositional fail on the part of both pizza shops then. > [@Peremensoe](#): > > Not sure what the quote is to illustrate. > [@Skywatcher](#): > > Some people don’t like searching through linked pages to find out why the page was linked in the first place. 🙂 The quote just mentions “fresh spinach,” though. I don’t have a problem with fresh spinach. I really like fresh spinach on pizza, in fact–lightly cooked. What I don’t like is loose, _raw_ spinach. To my mind, a pie is a cooked dish, its elements incorporated. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/49 "2015-01-20T19:33:32Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > The quote just mentions “fresh spinach,” though. I don’t have a problem with fresh spinach. I really like fresh spinach on pizza, in fact–lightly cooked. What I don’t like is loose, _raw_ spinach. To my mind, a pie is a cooked dish, its elements incorporated. Okay. For no other reason than this thread, I ordered PH pizza again this past weekend. I ordered fresh spinach on my pizza. When it arrived, there was little doubt that a generous handful of fresh spinach was put on top after the pizza came out of the oven. By the time it had arrived, the spinach was only slightly wilted and was a perfect fresh accompaniment to the hot pie. I only wish that fresh arugula was an available option in addition to the fresh spinach. To each his own, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/50 "2015-01-20T20:04:45Z")
> [@Cubsfan](#): > > It sounds like a ripoff of what Hungry Howies has done forever. > > The flavored crust starts off tasting good but after eating it a few times it becomes too much. I miss Hungry Howies so much. It was our go to pizza joint until they closed. Had a couple of people over for football so we got a couple of pies. I was the only one who wanted one with the honey siracha so maybe next time. We just went for the new configurations instead of making our own. We got the Old Fashion Meabrawl. It was good. I loved the Hut Favorite crust. That was my first pie with meatballs and they were good but I like my meat spread around so I broke up the balls on my slices. We also got the Buffalo State of Mind. It was also good. I would have liked the sauce to be a little spicier but it was still good. The toasted cheddar crust seemed lost. I couldn’t taste the cheddar at all. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/51 "2015-01-20T21:44:24Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > You’ve inspired me, **ZipperJJ!** I didn’t even know about the new stuff, so I went there and wound up ordering two larges, both with different drizzles and flavors of crust. > > Just arrived now. Did you get knocked out cold or something? No way it’s taking you 24 hours to eat that pizza! Review! 🙂 Regarding the spinach - I can say at least they have very good quality spinach. None of it was sour or off, and there was no sand. So while the raw-ness of it is a little awkward, all in all it could have been worse. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2015, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/52 "2015-01-21T15:07:39Z")
I tried this last night (and I’m posting this before reading the other comments) but…gross. Gross beyond all reason. I did a “Do it yourself” type option and chose (I can’t get the site to open on my work computer, so if I’m not using the right jargon, you know what I mean): [ul] [li]Hand tossed crust. It was sweet. Like challah or brioche type sweet. Y’know how you add a pinch of sugar to start yeast rising? They added tablespoons, based on the flavor.[/li][li]Crushed Tomato Sauce. I wanted the more acidic tang of tomatoes. What I got was (far too little) tomato-flavored kool-aid. There was barely any sauce but what there was was disgusting. It didn’t have the texture or taste of crushed tomatoes (super-thin and watery) and as with the crust, was just grossly sweet.[/li][li]Whatever the default cheeses were. No flavor–it tasted like the normal non-flavored cheeze-like-product that you generally get from fast-food pizza as opposed to real mozzerella, but that’s what I would have expected. [/li][li]Several meats, all of which were ok, although they were freakin’ crazy-stingy on the salami. There was like one piece of salami per slice.[/li][li]Several veggies (tomatoes, spinach, those Peruvian peppers, onions). The tomatoes were tasteless and not really cooked, the spinach was put on after the pizza was cooked so it was literally raw and cool (which, to be fair, is what the picture showed, but…really? raw? cool?), the onions were…ok…and the Peruvian peppers tasted like they’d been marinating in pineapple juice–way too sweet. Like just about everything else.[/li][li]The garlic-butter stuff for the crust–also sweet. Garlic butter should not be sweet.[/li][/ul] I didn’t get one of those drizzles because none sounded good. I ate about half of one piece and tried a second from the other side to see if someone had just spilled a half-gallon of sugar syrup on it, and the second side was just as bad. I picked through some of the individual ingredients (pulled off a slice of salami–which wasn’t bad, tried a meatball, etc–and the meats weren’t too sweet so they didn’t spill something on the pizza itself. And eating one or two of the Peruvian chilies, they really did taste like they’d been soaked in pineapple juice. The rest of the veggies didn’t. This was just terrible. And after paying like $20.00 for 6 bites of pizza, I won’t be trying it again. I ended up making a grilled cheese sandwich. If you want a decent delivery pizza, pizza hut’s Brooklyn style pizza is far better and a lot cheaper. ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2015, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/53 "2015-01-21T19:25:39Z")
> [@yellowjacketcoder](#): > > Have you had normal Sriracha, either the Huy Fong stuff with the rooster on the bottle, an off brand (I personally like Sky Valley), or the homemade stuff at Vietnamese restaurants? I sorta wonder if we’re on different wavelengths here. I had never even \*heard \*of \*\*Sriracha \*\*before it came to Pizza Hut, to be honest. The first thing I noticed about it was the unique spelling, which always interests me, as a guy whose brain is attracted to the way we spell words. I got it down pat right away because it was easy to remember. It’s \*literally \*the only word in my entire vocabulary that begins with “Sr” Why that fascinates me, I have no idea. But it certainly got me on the spelling-it-correctly bandwagon right away. Well, I tasted it, because I was curious. I put enough on my tongue for it to be a thing. And it stung like hell. Because that’s my experience with spicy foods. I eat spicy nacho doritos like they’re made of candy, can barely notice the spice in those anymore, but there was a recently discontinued flavor of doritos that I just couldn’t eat. I forget what they were called, they were way too hot for me. (quick google search) The Habanero flavor. That one. Couldn’t eat it. I’m originally from New Hampshire, and I was never big on mexican food, so my tongue doesn’t have the immunity to spicy flavors that others have from a lifetime of eating it, especially down south near mexico way. > [@](#): > > I’m the guy that goes to pho restaurants and puts a squirt of sriracha on each spoonful. I go to Taco Mac (regional wing chain near Atlanta) and order the death wings. I once tried to make my own sriracha because the normal stuff wasn’t hot enough (I used too much vinegar, I need to try again). I have a bottle of Dave’s Insanity in my fridge. Yes, I do like hot stuff. Aha! Caught you! I knew it! _All those years of playing mafia have finally paid off. 😛_ > [@](#): > > But I also have Indian friends that put me to shame. I know guys that put a teaspoon of Dave’s on their wings where I put a drop or two. I see those Mexican leathertongues that munch on Habeneros for a snack. And I think I’m somewhat average on the “how much I like heat” spectrum. Well I’m decidedly below average on that scale, then. > [@](#): > > So, my question for askthepizzaguy is: what’s your take on normal sriracha? My response at the top of this post probably covered it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2015, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/54 "2015-01-21T19:32:38Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > True or False: They used to also offer lemon-pepper wings on their menu, no? True. Note about that: I mentioned to the owners of my franchise how the lemon pepper wings didn’t taste like lemon, but as a rather vague citrus-related syrup, and you couldn’t actually taste the pepper in them. I enjoy lemon pepper. What we were selling tasted very little like lemon or pepper. I still enjoyed it, but it bore no resemblance to actual lemon or pepper. I swear I’m not responsible for getting it pulled a year later. That idea came from PH corporate. I guess someone else thought they didn’t taste like lemon or pepper. (Or, far more likely, they weren’t selling as well across the entire brand.) > [@](#): > > Also, the traditional bone-in un-breaded wings are the only way to go, IMO. By far the most popular seller, and as someone who only eats the boneless kind, I have to say, I’ve had better boneless chicken. I \*want \*to love the boneless wings, but, the flavor isn’t what I’m looking for, and especially, the texture. The texture is all wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2015, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/55 "2015-01-21T19:46:05Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Crushed Tomato Sauce. I wanted the more acidic tang of tomatoes. What I got was (far too little) tomato-flavored kool-aid. There was barely any sauce but what there was was disgusting. It didn’t have the texture or taste of crushed tomatoes (super-thin and watery) Agreed- when I heard they were getting crushed tomato sauce, I expected something chunky. What you’re getting is tomato paste and probably sugar, there’s no noticeable spices or other flavors, and it is probably too watery. I hear “crushed tomato” and I think actual tomato chunks in a thicker sauce. It’s not selling well, and I think it’s because they botched it. It should be better than the usual pizza sauce, and I can’t think of any way that it is. I like our \*default \*sauce. I like it better than all the opposing brands. It tastes like real pizza sauce. The new crushed tomato, I thought it was just me, but hearing others review it, affirms what I suspected- it’s not crushed or tomatoey enough to be called crushed tomato. > [@](#): > > Whatever the default cheeses were. No flavor–it tasted like the normal non-flavored cheeze-like-product that you generally get from fast-food pizza as opposed to real mozzerella, but that’s what I would have expected. The cheese is real mozzarella, and I have no complaints about the quality of the product, but what I think makes the difference in the flavor is that the cheese is delivered frozen. Some mom and pop shops get mozzarella that was never frozen, and you can taste the difference. If they didn’t deliver it frozen, I think there would be an improvement in the flavor and especially the texture. I ate at a mom and pop place the other day and the cheese was really stretchy- the kind of stretchy you think of when you think of pizza cheese. I watched them make it, and the difference was the cheese was never frozen, or so the cook told me. > [@](#): > > Brooklyn style pizza is far better and a lot cheaper. Wish we had \*those \*in our area. That’s gotta be a regional thing. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2015, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/56 "2015-01-21T19:54:18Z")
> [@Askthepizzaguy](#): > > It’s \*literally \*the only word in my entire vocabulary that begins with “Sr” > > Why that fascinates me, I have no idea. But it certainly got me on the spelling-it-correctly bandwagon right away. “sr” is not a valid consonant cluster in english. You’ll only find it across syllable breaks as in words like misread or disrupt. Since S is not a valid syllable by itself, “sr” is not possible as the beginning of an english word. Sriracha is not an english word\*, however, which is why it can start with “sr”. \*Well, it may be an english word _now_, but it didn’t start out as one and hasn’t been anglicized yet, if it ever will. ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2015, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/57 "2015-01-21T19:57:50Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > “sr” is not a valid consonant cluster in english. You’ll only find it across syllable breaks as in words like misread or disrupt. Since S is not a valid syllable by itself, “sr” is not possible as the beginning of an english word. Sriracha is not an english word\*, however, which is why it can start with “sr”. I really do appreciate a word geek. Stuff like this isn’t boring to me for some strange reason. How have you been Inner Stickler? You still do mafia from time to time? ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2015, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/58 "2015-01-21T20:02:13Z")
I tried PH 3 times. The first time I tried it, I thought to myself, "Oh my! There certainly is a very high percentage of grease in this pizza. The second time I tried it, I was on the road and there was nowhere else to eat. So, I tried it again out of desperation and thenI thought to myself, “Oh puke! Never again! Never! Ever! Never! Never again!”. The third time I tried it, I had only been laid two or three times in my life and I was out with this girl who made it clear to me that she was going to have sex with me, but … this B#$(&\*& wanted to eat some PH and nothing else would do for her. I tried to suggest some other food. But it was “No Dice”. I even tried to suggest some really good food served in very nice restaurants where they had cloth napkins and cloth tablecloths, but it was still no dice. She didn’t care. She didn’t know about cloth napkiins or cloth tablecloths. It was still no dice for her. She wanted PH or she wanted to go home. Well you can imagine what happened after that … because … I’m just a man. Only a man. And, back then, I wasn’t even old enough to be a real man. I just couldn’t pass up the chance to get laid. I’m guessin’ that you can be guessin’ just what happened next and you would be kee-rect. But, after it was over, I just felt like a total kee-rectum-hole and I thought to myself, “Holy F\*%()@$#^! This sh\*(#% ain’t nothing but grease.” ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2015, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/59 "2015-01-21T20:07:41Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > She wanted PH or she wanted to go home. Well you can imagine what happened after that … because … I’m just a man. Only a man. And, back then, I wasn’t even old enough to be a real man. I just couldn’t pass up the chance to get laid. I’m guessin’ that you can be guessin’ just what happened next and you would be kee-rect. But, after it was over, I just felt like a total kee-rectum-hole and I thought to myself, “Holy F\*%()@$#^! This sh\*(#% ain’t nothing but grease.” Pizza is like sex; Even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2015, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014/60 "2015-01-21T20:11:43Z")
> [@Push\_You\_Down](#): > > I used to HATE pizzahut… HATED it. > > Then they changed their crust from that grease pit that it was. > Now, I think it’s pretty good pizza. Really? Really and Truly? If that is really true, maybe it’s worth giving it another try? Besides, I bet that girl is very mature by now and she’s probably no longer more interested in pizza than she is in sex. So, I can probably walk into a pizzeria and not have to worry about bumping into her again. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pizza-huts-new-menu/710014.md?page=4)