# Planet of the Apes remake: any chance it won't suck? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 25, 2011, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279 "2011-07-25T16:59:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/41 "2011-08-04T15:57:29Z")
Trending at 82% at RottenTomatoes right now. The reviews kind of make me want to see it. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/42 "2011-08-04T16:24:06Z")
If you’re planning on thinking hard about this movie, of course it will suck. If you want to see apes ripping the shit out of people on a giant screen, it’ll probably be good. Personally, that’s all I’m looking for. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/43 "2011-08-04T17:33:13Z")
> [@panamajack](#): > > It doesn’t seem to look like it, but does this film have any connection to the Tim Burton Planet of the Apes remake? No connection. They’re pretending it never happened. As should we all. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/44 "2011-08-04T17:55:16Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > Trending at 82% at RottenTomatoes right now. The reviews kind of make me want to see it. And 100% with Top Critics so far. It’ll probably trend down a little, but it’s looking pretty good so dar. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/45 "2011-08-04T18:02:42Z")
I have to admit, I was befuddled by all the instant negative reaction in this thread. While the movie might suck, it certainly didn’t seem like an insta-suck like this thread seemed to imply, at least in my book. At it seems to be getting some decent critical reviews. My wife is very psyched to see it because she is an animal welfare activist who likes to the idea odf animals that have been experimented on fighting back. (and no she does not oppose medical research) ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/46 "2011-08-04T18:04:37Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > On that note, perhaps they should’ve started the movie with a series of increasingly strange incidents involving hiker, hunter, and camper disappearances followed by “terrorist” acts that, upon close examination, appear not have been committed by any human being. Spend about the first third of the movie establishing a creepy and unsettling atmosphere before revealing that apes are the cause. Then you show that some 20 years before in a Bay Area lab there were top-secret genetic experiments on chimps and other apes that greatly increased their intelligence and that these apes escaped and eventually disappeared into the dense forests of Northern California. Now, they’re emerging out of the woods to take on humanity. I like that idea, but I’d set it [here](http://www.cnprc.ucdavis.edu/) - a few thousand monkeys ready to break out. You could even tie the escape to an ALF attack. Maybe even work in the adenovirus monkey-to-human jump which was “discovered” at that place. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/47 "2011-08-04T18:06:22Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > No connection. They’re pretending it [Tim Burton’s re-imagining] never happened. > > As should we all. No real dispute here but the thought just occurred to me that the existence of at least two people (Burton and HBC’s two children) are attributable that movie. /God knows why I thought of that. [QUOTE=enalzi] And 100% with Top Critics [and 82% overall] so far. It’ll probably trend down a little, but it’s looking pretty good so dar. [/QUOTE] Even if it does trend down, that’s still quite surprising. Maybe people are going in with low expectations. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/48 "2011-08-04T18:43:38Z")
> [@bup](#): > > If you want to see apes ripping the shit out of people on a giant screen, it’ll probably be good. Personally, that’s all I’m looking for. 🆒 no it will still suck, because you are going to see some lame ass shots of what should be people getting ripped to shreds but instead they will all be clean quick kills or shots that cut away before you see anything gross. give me a flick where an ape rips off some guys arm then beats his wife to death with it while he bleeds out watching and I am IN! ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/49 "2011-08-04T18:47:11Z")
You make a good point. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2011, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/50 "2011-08-04T20:20:27Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > No connection. They’re pretending it never happened. > > As should we all. Which would make this another case of stumbling into a faint smidgen of concordance with the book, in which the apeification of each world proceeded on its own path and schedule (and as **CalMeacham** mentions, Boulle’s book was largely a satire about bourgeois notions of progress). ---
**Author:** ![Bosstrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/51 "2011-08-05T02:21:17Z")
> [@spark240](#): > > “Hollywood” in this context usually means a certain major-studio approach to big-budget films, not necessarily the Hollywood area. Not all American films are made by the major studios and not even all of those are “Hollywood.” try telling the people from Hollywood that…😃 Yes, this movie will suck, badly. If it’s anything like the last couple decades of film production, it will most likely suck your balls dry. As the famous [Brad Bird](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317705/) once stated himself, it’s like every movie has to have more FX, another loud bang, another quick camera change…they simply can’t stay calm and tell the damn story! That’s mostly cause they only have about a 15 minute long story to even tell, so they got to fill the rest in with pure action, it would probably just be better if they cut to a still of Tom Cruise on the cover of MI:3 and be done with it, geez :smack:. Now ‘The Adjustment Bureau’, that is a modern film that has a good, intriguing story to it, many rounds of applause to Matt Damon on the acting too! ---
**Author:** ![N9IWP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/n9iwp/32/3154_2.png) [@N9IWP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N9IWP)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/52 "2011-08-05T11:43:10Z")
Curently at 84% fresh at RT Matacritic has it at 71 (Generably favorable reviews) I have no real desire to see this, was just curious Brian ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/53 "2011-08-05T15:33:37Z")
A thought just occurred to me. I’ve complained at length (elsewhere besides this thread) about the intellectual bankruptcy that makes Hollywood producers love the one-note Ape movies (and tried to perpetuate it even beyond its many appearances). But this is just a cinematic example of the “Apes on Covers Sell Comic Books” meme that seemed to dominate DC comics, even before the first _Planet of the Apes_ film in 1968: > **[List of fictional primates in comics](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apes_in_comics)** > > This is a list of fictional non-human primates in comics. It is a subsidiary to the list of fictional primates. > Bruno Premiani > [@](#): > > There are several rumors surrounding the wide use of gorillas in comic books at the time: > > 1.Publishers believed that placing a gorilla on a comic book cover, regardless of the context or relevance, would automatically correspond with an increase in sales for that title; Irwin Donenfeld was the first to notice this trend.[1] The claim eventually became self-fulfilling as certain comic book collectors with an eye for “oddball” comics, would single out these issues, and purchase them for their collections. > 2.Due to the first rumor, it is also reported that DC Comics was worried about abusing the winning formula, so had an unwritten rule that there could be no more than one gorilla cover per month across all of its titles (except, of course, during the occasional “gorilla month”).[2]} > **[Amazon.com: Comics Gone Ape!: 9781893905627: Eury, Michael, Adams, Art, Kubert,...](https://www.amazon.com/Comics-Gone-Ape-Michael-Eury/dp/1893905624)** > > Amazon.com: Comics Gone Ape!: 9781893905627: Eury, Michael, Adams, Art, Kubert, Joe, Infantino, Carmine: Books > [@](#): > > DC Comics editor Julius Schwartz, who was largely responsible for the early-1960s revival of the superhero genre, steadfastly believed that a gorilla on the cover guaranteed greater sales. He must not have been the only one who thought so, for as Eury proves, there have been enough monkeyshines on and within comic-book covers over the decades to fill a book. [http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.php?id=4273](http://www.revolutionsf.com/article.php?id=4273) [http://comiccoverage.typepad.com/comic\_coverage/2008/05/monkey-business-the-great-apes-monkeys-gorillas-of-dc-comics.html](http://comiccoverage.typepad.com/comic_coverage/2008/05/monkey-business-the-great-apes-monkeys-gorillas-of-dc-comics.html) [http://www.lethargiclad.com/gorilla/](http://www.lethargiclad.com/gorilla/) I’ve heard stories about this for years. Heck, I grew up seeing all those apes on comic book covers. And there’s no other way to account for things like _Angel and the Ape_\* Of course, if people really do respond to apes on comic book covers and on movie posters, you can’t blame the movie makers. It’s the fault of that vast tide of ape-lovin’ humanity of which I am not one). But I can still fault them for pandering to it. \*which never was funny. At least not until Phil Foglio did his retro four-issue series. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/54 "2011-08-05T16:24:39Z")
84% from the top critics. So I guess the answer to the OP is “Yes”. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/55 "2011-08-05T16:34:22Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > But the attacks all happen during the Christmas season, and only residents of San Francisco are targeted and devoured. I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/56 "2011-08-05T19:13:35Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > I don’t get it. Everyone knows Yule gibbons eats only nuts and fruits. See also posts #35 and #40 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/57 "2011-08-05T19:23:38Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > Everyone knows Yule gibbons eats only nuts and fruits. I hate you people. Worse, I hate that I’m old enough to get the joke and now I need some Grape Nuts to go with the blueberry yogurt in the fridge. And even he knew you don’t eat the head of a cattail. You eat the rhizome. For you younguns: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_XJMIu18I8Y](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XJMIu18I8Y) ETA: Maybe we have some corn flakes, but Wife has mostly bought Aldi “Cheerios” lately. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2011, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/58 "2011-08-06T04:19:48Z")
New thread [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=619217) for those who have finally seen it. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2011, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/59 "2011-08-07T01:09:48Z")
Could an army of apes withstand a country full of firearms enthusiasts who would like nothing more than to hunt apes in an urban setting? ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2011, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279/60 "2011-08-07T05:51:19Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > Could an army of apes withstand a country full of firearms enthusiasts who would like nothing more than to hunt apes in an urban setting? I too thought that even the entire worldwide population of apes, made intelligent, and armed with machine guns, still would be quickly and easily put down. But the movie sidesteps that issue entirely by going in a different direction. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planet-of-the-apes-remake-any-chance-it-wont-suck/590279.md?page=4)