# Planning A Trip To Europe For Vacation-but Also To Meet A Woman **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 28, 2016, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238 "2016-08-28T04:00:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emtar_KronJonDerSohn)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2016, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/21 "2016-08-28T21:48:55Z")
> [@Nema98](#): > > She does not, plus I’m not her uncle.:smack: Well in that case, smash away! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2016, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/22 "2016-08-28T23:11:43Z")
> [@Nema98](#): > > …Also my plan is not to have sex with her… I think it’s not only your plan, but your hope, your dream, and the subject of many a…er…_daydream_. Cree. Pee. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2016, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/23 "2016-08-29T00:50:58Z")
> [@Nema98](#): > > So is this a good idea, or will it seem creepy? Since you asked, it seems creepy. But before I absolutely declare it to be creepy, I have to ask how clannish your family is. Specifically, are your mother and her brother close? Does your family have giant reunions, its own Facebook page or long chains of email with dozens of recipients? If so, and even if you or your cousin don’t participate that much, then it’s creepy. Then there’s the issue of building a trip to Europe around seeing a woman you spent a month with seven years ago and since “have not not had much contact except once in a blue moon on social media.” That could be creepy, or just really sad. Or it could be both. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2016, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/24 "2016-08-29T02:35:53Z")
> [@Nema98](#): > > Thanks to you and everyone else who has replied. I actually desire a long term relationship with her, but geography is a pain the ass. I do have genuine feelings for her. > > Also my plan is not to have sex with her, just make out and innocent stuff. As long as I spend time with her, I guess I am okay with it. This is less unusual than folks seem to think. There’s an actual documented phenomenon called [genetic sexual attraction](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genetic_sexual_attraction) (GSA). Genetic close relatives who don’t meet one another until adulthood often find themselves intensely sexual attracted to one another. This has resulted in some high-profile legal cases concerning parent-child and brother-sister marriages. So your feelings are not at all unusual. I think your best strategy would be to reflect on these feelings and make sure you have a good understanding for their basis. Then, when you meet her, try to find a casual way to work the subject of GSA into the conversation. Once she’s comprehended the biological inevitability of the attraction, she will find you irresistible, and your fantasies will be consummated. Write back and let us know how it went. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2016, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/25 "2016-08-29T04:07:53Z")
I hope she has a BIG boyfriend … with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![yo\_han\_go](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yo_han_go/32/130_2.png) [@yo\_han\_go](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yo_han_go)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2016, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/26 "2016-08-29T08:19:29Z")
… or axe. Or sword. Jeez people, relax. Take a popcorn and sit back. I hope that OP zobifies this topic in a year. We are all aware this will probably not end well, but I want to hear juicy parts. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2016, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/27 "2016-08-29T08:25:37Z")
It’s a terrible plan. I have no idea what you hoped or expected us to tell you. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2016, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/28 "2016-08-29T10:23:19Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I hope she has a BIG boyfriend … with a gun. It’s Switzerland, if he’s a local in good health he’s got a government-issued big gun. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2016, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/29 "2016-08-29T11:08:00Z")
I don’t know why others call this creepy. Relationship with a 1st-cousin 1x removed one has spent little time around is NOT incest. And … > [@Nema98](#): > > … I have kissed her when she was here in states and she surprisingly was receptive. … there seems to be some mutual attraction already. But wouldn’t it make sense to reach out to her first with a Facebook message or something and get a clue about her status and feelings before planning your trip around her? ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2016, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/30 "2016-08-29T12:15:12Z")
> [@septimus](#): > > I don’t know why others call this creepy. Relationship with a 1st-cousin 1x removed one has spent little time around is NOT incest. And … > … there seems to be some mutual attraction already. > > But wouldn’t it make sense to reach out to her first with a Facebook message or something and get a clue about her status and feelings before planning your trip around her? Seven year old kisses, and we only have the OP’s word on how receptive she was. Since he’s been building this up in his mind for seven years, his memories may be distorted. If she were truly interested, she’d keep up with him on social media way more than “once in a blue moon”. Planning a gropey make out session a year in advance with someone he barely knows is extremely creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Fleetwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fleetwood/32/271_2.png) [@Fleetwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fleetwood)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2016, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/31 "2016-08-29T13:56:36Z")
If it works out, bring her back to the US. You can settle in Massachusetts, where it is legal to marry a first cousin. ---
**Author:** ![Lok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e8c25b/32.png) [@Lok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lok)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2016, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/32 "2016-08-29T14:58:37Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > Planning a gropey make out session a year in advance with someone he barely knows is extremely creepy. Yeah, this I agree with. > [@Fleetwood](#): > > If it works out, bring her back to the US. You can settle in Massachusetts, where it is legal to marry a first cousin. There are many states where it is legal to marry a first cousin. But you don’t need to live in them once you are married. And I doubt the laws would apply in any case, since her relationship to him is more distant than just first cousin. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2016, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/33 "2016-08-29T15:35:51Z")
Macking out on your cousin’s daughter is pervy in my book regardless that you’ve already done it once. But let’s back this up a bit. You’re 29, and you are already planning on making a move on a girl you’re not going to see for a year over lunch at a café!!???!!! WTF? How immature are you? Combine that with your cousin’s daughter and it’s full tilt wacko! Seriously dude, go to Europe, avoid seeing your cousin, and find some stranger in Italy or Germany to hit on. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2016, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/34 "2016-08-29T17:07:44Z")
Before you go, you may want to learn what “fuck off” sounds like in German, French, Italian, Romansh and Farsi. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2016, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/35 "2016-08-29T18:32:19Z")
Like \*\*Septimus \*\*said, why don’t you contact her over Facebook or email to find out how she feels about you? If she’s not interested, you’ll at least know, and can plan your vacation without worrying about the what-if’s. The bonus is, if she is interested in any way it would give you something to look forward to. I have a feeling that you won’t, though, because that would be the end of the daydream you’ve spent the past 7 years building up in your mind. It really sounds like you’re in love with the idea of flying off to Geneva for a meet-cute followed by two weeks of madcap sexyfuntimes, rather than in love with this particular woman. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2016, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/36 "2016-08-29T19:58:38Z")
I can’t speak for the actual girl in this (potential) situation, but if I were a girl involved in a similar situation, I’d be freaked out if anyone tried to kiss me without me wanting it, and way, way more so if it were a _relative._ Yikes. ---
**Author:** ![Nema98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d2c977/32.png) [@Nema98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nema98)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/37 "2016-08-30T17:08:34Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > I can’t speak for the actual girl in this (potential) situation, but if I were a girl involved in a similar situation, I’d be freaked out if anyone tried to kiss me without me wanting it, and way, way more so if it were a _relative._ Yikes. Well I would either ask or first kiss he forehead, before just out of the blue planting a kiss on the lips. I’m not socially retarded, c’mon! ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/38 "2016-08-30T17:17:32Z")
> [@Nema98](#): > > I’m not socially retarded, c’mon! Based on this thread, the jury is still out. Ignoring the relative thing, it’s very creepy to objectify a person to the degree that you’re doing here. You’ve fixated on an idea of a woman, and are willing to travel thousands of miles to hook up but don’t know enough to inquire if she’s in a relationship. Wicked creepy, and not likely to flatter her. ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/39 "2016-08-30T19:14:28Z")
> [@Nema98](#): > > I’m not socially retarded, c’mon! Are you sure? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2016, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238/40 "2016-08-30T19:19:23Z")
Setting aside whether your plan is creepy (it is, but setting that aside): If you have a whole year between now and then, why not begin cultivating the relationship now? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/planning-a-trip-to-europe-for-vacation-but-also-to-meet-a-woman/764238.md?page=3)