# Plastic Man, Reed Richards, Elongated Man, Elastic Lad: who would... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 8, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730 "2003-08-08T01:48:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/1 "2003-08-08T01:48:09Z")
…most satisfy their lover sexually? My money’s on Reed; after all, how do you think he got the name “Mister Fantastic”? ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/2 "2003-08-08T01:51:10Z")
Plastic Man, because Eel is insane. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/3 "2003-08-08T02:07:53Z")
The Elongated Man has that built-in nasal vibrator; the possibilities are obvious. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/4 "2003-08-08T02:41:07Z")
In Formerly Known As the Justice League #1, Elongated Man’s wife Sue drops a hint that Ralph (EM) uses his powers quite well in the bedroom. ---
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Dracul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/50afbb/32.png) [@Vlad\_Dracul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Dracul)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/5 "2003-08-08T03:08:51Z")
Elongated Man would probably win. He and his wife obviously have good chemistry, and he seems like a fun-loving sort of guy. Plastic Man technically has nothing resembling human biochemistry, so he probably lacks a genuine sex drive and would just be going through the motions in order to satisfy his own image of himself as a human male. Reed is probably thinking about scientific projects while having sex, so his performance would be rather detached and uninspired. Elastic Lad… well, c’mon, he’s JIMMY OLSEN… I’m surprised he’s even making the attempt. And even if he is, his partner will be very upset when Jimmy murmurs “Oh, Superman… Superman!” ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/6 "2003-08-08T03:19:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Vlad Dracul \* > \*\* And even if he is, his partner will be very upset when Jimmy murmurs "Oh, Superman… \*\* Sounds more like Laurie Anderson. ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/7 "2003-08-08T03:33:13Z")
As with all such questions, the correct answer is Batman. ---
**Author:** ![Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/8 "2003-08-08T03:42:11Z")
As usual, [Flatman](http://www.angelfire.com/ny2/GreatLakeAvengers/fm.html) gets no respect. Not that I’m arguing he should get respect. I’m just saying, is all. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/9 "2003-08-08T03:59:06Z")
You’re forgetting [Meteor Man](http://www.tntie.com/ashleys4jc/hb.galaxytrio.html#1.1) of the Galaxy Trio. > [@](#): > > Meteor Man - Meteor Man is from the planet Meteorus. He has the ability to make any part of his body grow larger in size Nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/10 "2003-08-08T04:14:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fiver \* > \*\*As with all such questions, the correct answer is Batman. \*\* Only if he’s, well, y’know… ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/11 "2003-08-08T04:15:22Z")
Once again… the BLACK man with the LD gets left out of the ‘lovin’ action… or have you so soon forgotten [Super Stretch?](http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/supmicro.htm) I have it on good authority he and an unidentified friend were the basis of Richard Pryor’s infamous “… and it’s deep, too!” joke. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/12 "2003-08-08T04:32:48Z")
Have there ever been any female “stretchers” on either the good or evil side(s)? ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/13 "2003-08-08T04:51:29Z")
Um… the French chick who warred against Doom Patrol with the Brain and Messier Mallah. I forget her name. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/14 "2003-08-08T06:14:48Z")
**Stretching Powers** Admit it. For as long as you can remember, you’ve longed for the woman in your life to say, “Oh! That’s so colossally, unimaginably huge that nothing short of the Brooklyn Tunnel is capable of taking it! Safesex would require at least eight to ten deflated Navy blimps all sewn together! You could lay that thing across the East River and charge commuters a toll to drive across it!” Haven’t you? Well, welcome to the superpower that everyone dreams of getting! With such a power, you may find yourself left with very little free time in which to fight crime and avenge the wronged – but who cares, right? –_How To Be a Superhero,_ Mark Leigh and Mike Lepine ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/15 "2003-08-08T06:53:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Askia \* > \*\*Um… the French chick who warred against Doom Patrol with the Brain and Messier Mallah. I forget her name. \*\* [Elasti-Girl](http://www.angelfire.com/ar/hellUSA/Elastigirl.html) > [@](#): > > Powers: Elasti-Girl can increase or decrease her size from microscopic to gigantic. As her size increases, she gains superhuman strength. She can also choose to increase the size of a single body part, such as an arm, without changing the size of the rest of her body. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/16 "2003-08-08T07:19:44Z")
No, Elasti-Girl was _with_ the Doom Patrol. **Askia** was talking about Madame Rogue. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/17 "2003-08-08T11:35:28Z")
> [@](#): > > Have there ever been any female “stretchers” on either the good or evil side(s)? For one issue in the early 1960s, Lois Lane was “Elastic Lass”. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/18 "2003-08-08T11:36:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Elastic Lad… well, c’mon, he’s JIMMY OLSEN… I’m surprised he’s even making the attempt. And even if he is, his partner will be very upset when Jimmy murmurs “Oh, Superman… Superman!” Waitaminute. Jimmy Olsen, as in the Daily-Planet photographer, hoping to be a reporter, became a superhero?! Man, I’m glad I never collected DC. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/19 "2003-08-08T11:40:34Z")
> [@](#): > > Plastic Man technically has nothing resembling human biochemistry, so he probably lacks a genuine sex drive and would just be going through the motions in order to satisfy his own image of himself as a human male. As drawn by Jack Cole, who created him (and the entire idea/genre of stretchy heroes), Plastic Man was an ordinary guy who got his powers through an accident, and seemed to have perfectly normal feelings and emotions. In fact, Cole suggested sensuality on many occasions. Cole went on to become one of Playboy’s first and best cartoonists, so I’m puttin’ my money on Plas. (See the recent weird bio of Cole **Jack Cole: Forms Stretched to their Limits** ) ---
**Author:** ![Alcibiades](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cab0a1/32.png) [@Alcibiades](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alcibiades)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730/20 "2003-08-08T12:09:37Z")
There is also Rubber Duck of Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew. Who knows what he was up to with his team-mate Yankee Poodle? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/plastic-man-reed-richards-elongated-man-elastic-lad-who-would/193730.md?page=2)