# Platonic friends spoon, he gets a boner she gets upset.. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 5, 2012, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011 "2012-11-05T22:36:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/81 "2012-11-06T20:01:18Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > Well, there’s unwanted penii and unwanted penii- even most countries where nudity is normally OK have rules saying you can’t stand outside a school in a trenchcoat doing the jiggly flash dance at all the girls. But I digress. > > There’s a few platonic male friends I would share a bed with, but other than a bit of minor embarrassment, it’d be silly to get annoyed at them if they wound up with a bit of morning wood, especially if spooning was involved, even if it was just alcohol and cold that made it sound sensible. The plural of _penis_ is _penes_, not “penii”. You’ll have to be penalized. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/82 "2012-11-06T20:05:49Z")
Advice for girls: don’t push your ass into a man’s crotch unless you’re prepared to feel a hardon poking back at you. On second thought, this advice also applies to boys. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/83 "2012-11-06T22:05:00Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Advice for girls: don’t push your ass into a man’s crotch unless you’re prepared to feel a hardon poking back at you. On second thought, this advice also applies to boys. This is very good advice. We are all so worried about teaching boys and girls about penises in vaginas and getting pregnant and stuff that we forget about elemental stuff like this. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/84 "2012-11-06T22:34:45Z")
If my crothal area comes in contact with female flesh there will be movement. I don’t care if we are friends or not. In fact during my single time I hooked up with more than a few of my friends for some platonic sexy time. What are friends for? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/85 "2012-11-06T22:51:26Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > She’s upset about the accidental hardon but not that his hand was on her boob\*? > > \*If there’s some other place for the big spoon’s top hand to rest, I haven’t found it. The side of the hip. Not that it alleviates involuntary wood or anything. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/86 "2012-11-06T22:53:38Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > The plural of _penis_ is _penes_, not “penii”. > > You’ll have to be penalized. ☹ Will I be sent to a penal colony? ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2012, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/87 "2012-11-06T22:54:04Z")
This is like the thread on men not knowing that women don’t pee out of their vaginas. If she doesn’t know that 20 somethings get erections every night, drunk or sober, solo or spooning, she should be embarrased for her ignorance, not his wood. It’s her issue, so it’s on her to get out of the bed. Unless, of course, there’s more to the story. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2012, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/88 "2012-11-07T00:22:04Z")
Let us consult the Tao of Vincent Vega > [@](#): > > Would you give a guy a foot massage? > > \ > > But you’re saying a foot massage don’t mean nothing, and I’m saying it does. Now look, I’ve given a million ladies a million foot massages, and they all meant something. We act like they don’t, but they do, and that’s what’s so fucking cool about them. There’s a sensuous thing going on where you don’t talk about it, but you know it, she knows it, fucking Marsellus knew it, and Antwone should have fucking better known better. Spooning is no different than a foot massage. It IS sensual, else why do it? Was it cold? Could hypothermia have set in? I think not. We do not spoon with ‘friends’. Young Missy thought she had control of the boy. The appearance of Mr Happy broke her illusion. My opinion anyway. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2012, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/89 "2012-11-07T00:28:49Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > ☹ > > Will I be sent to a penal colony? No – a penile colony, for violating the penile codes. ---
**Author:** ![BTEzra04](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9f8e36/32.png) [@BTEzra04](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BTEzra04)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2012, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/90 "2012-11-07T01:02:24Z")
Wow. Spooning is definitely a romantic thing, in almost all contexts I’ve ever heard of it. Didn’t Bill Cosby do a piece on it in one of his books about how wonderful it is with his wife? The only time I can remember it _not_ being a romantic thing between a couple is when I was in marching band with those kinds of kids that are way too touchy-feely. Freaked me out back then, still makes me make a face now. Spooning is one of the best things ever about cuddling with your partner, in my opinion. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2012, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/91 "2012-11-07T03:04:56Z")
the guy was just being a spork. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2012, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/92 "2012-11-07T04:26:09Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Right. I’ve shared beds and futons with platonic male friends before, but I’m not snuggling with you unless I want your penis in me. Lighten up, Francis. I don’t see the big deal. I’ve spooned for bodily warmth before. In my experience young guys don’t have a lot of control over hard-ons. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2012, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/93 "2012-11-07T04:30:25Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Would you mention it to her boyfriend if it doesn’t mean anything? I never said I didn’t think anything of it. I said she didn’t. She did talk about me to her boyfriend, but I don’t know if she talked to him about that specifically. She certainly never broke up with the guy–well, at least, not until after she left college, and we lost touch. I honestly didn’t know what to think. My roommate said she liked me, but I didn’t think so, based on how she talked, I didn’t even know her boyfriend, so, no, I wouldn’t have brought it up. As for someone else who mentioned not doing it with a guy–I generally don’t hug guys, either. I mean, nothing but the guy hug, anyways. It doesn’t mean I don’t hug my female friends. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/94 "2012-11-07T12:17:46Z")
How about platonic showering? It would be nice to have someone scrub your back, right? I’m all behind the movement to encourage platonic showering. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2012, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/95 "2012-11-07T13:50:13Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > How about platonic showering? It would be nice to have someone scrub your back, right? Or your front, for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2012, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/96 "2012-11-07T14:10:46Z")
> [@squeegee](#): > > Well, it is almost erection day. Maybe she should go to the pole. This place needs a LIKE button soooo bad! ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2012, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/97 "2012-11-08T05:11:28Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > This place needs a LIKE button soooo bad! Thanks. That’s an old joke with the wife: C’mere hon, today’s Erection Day! Time to go to the Pole! Wrraaar! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2012, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/98 "2012-11-08T05:21:12Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > Lighten up, Francis. > > I don’t see the big deal. I’ve spooned for bodily warmth before. In my experience young guys don’t have a lot of control over hard-ons. First, if any of you guys call me Francis, I’ll kill you. Next, it’s not the Biggest Deal That There Was, but I’m going with our pal Vinny here and reckon if you wouldn’t do something with your sister in law (or sister in law, or dad, or whatever he said), it ain’t platonic. I don’t cuddle up with people I’m not at least considering making the beast with two backs with. But that’s just me. In any event, I wouldn’t have had a shit fit about the boner. As I said earlier, I’d just move away from it then go to sleep, but also I don’t spoon with platonic friends anyway, so this would never come up. Just noticed an unintentional bad pun, but I’m going to leave it there. The backspace key stifles natural conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2012, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/99 "2012-11-08T06:53:46Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > First, if any of you guys call me Francis, I’ll kill you. Shirley, you can’t be serious… (d&r) ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2012, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011/100 "2012-11-08T07:55:30Z")
I don’t spoon with platonic friends and I wouldn’t want my boyfriend to either. The possibility of something popping up could arise. If I’m going to spoon, I want to do it with my lover in which case a boner would be most welcomed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/platonic-friends-spoon-he-gets-a-boner-she-gets-upset/640011.md?page=6)