# Please buy a new toilet seat.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-buy-a-new-toilet-seat/28537>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [August 8, 2000, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-buy-a-new-toilet-seat/28537 "2000-08-08T05:56:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Fanny\_May](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3be4f8/32.png) [@Fanny\_May](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fanny_May)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-buy-a-new-toilet-seat/28537/1 "2000-08-08T05:56:00Z")

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I don’t know why so many places, like respectable shops and private homes, even, have broken and flaky-painted toilet seats.

They are $9.98 at Ace or True Value or Home Depot.

And even I can install it without tools in a minute.

So, go fix that seat now! And next time, don’t wait so long.

I’m hijacking my own thread to say you can put your name in funny like I did.

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Fanny May \*  
> \*\*It still works,
> 
> I’ve just seen on MPSIMS the names \*\*bEaR\_nEnNo \*\* and \*\*BeAr\_NeNnO \*\* in the thread list for the same poster.
> 
> I seem to recall doing that myself once, by mistake, by just forgetting and having capslock on. It came out fANNY mAY \*\*

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**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-buy-a-new-toilet-seat/28537/2 "2000-08-08T09:36:33Z")

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Due to my massive amounts of violently-released turds, the People’s Organization of Toilet-Talking Yuppies (POTTY) has prohibited me from the use of toilet seats. They cite numerous acts of cruelty to the devices.

I know, bad joke, but I just wanted to make an acronym out of “potty”.

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**Author:** ![Tisme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f0a364/32.png) [@Tisme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tisme)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-buy-a-new-toilet-seat/28537/3 "2000-08-08T09:45:45Z")

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Visit a public toilet and you’re lucky to get a seat, so one that is cracked, flakey or broken can sometimes seem like a luxury. Hard on the butt, but better than nothing.

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**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-buy-a-new-toilet-seat/28537/4 "2000-08-08T16:14:09Z")

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fanny, there are many types of seats, one should measure theirs first so it matches.

Do they make a heated toilet seat yet?

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**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\
**Post date:** [August 8, 2000, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-buy-a-new-toilet-seat/28537/5 "2000-08-08T16:37:38Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \*  
> **Due to my massive amounts of violently-released turds…**

Sounds like the parole board needs some oversight…

I’m in totall agreement with the OP. You can replace a bad toilet seat so cheaply. At a big box store I can get an oak and brass seeat for well under $10. The worst form of broken toilet seat is when the cheap pressed fiber ones develop an invisible hairline crack. You sit down, the seat flexes, the crack grabs that sensitive skin. MFFFFFKKRRR!!!