Please, Cast Your Votes! in the SDMB Weekend Flash Fiction Contest Anthology!!

We had set up shop on the Rue de Fumee a couple of days ago. A small city of ramps and lights and cameras had descended on the pretty street and transformed it. A clever location scout had discovered that one corner of it would be perfect for us. At the right angle and with the right lens you could shoot a scene and have the perfect backdrop. The Eiffel tower itself.

The scene we were currently shooting had my character being chased through Paris on his BMX. My character, the daring young spy Jack Triplow, would ride down this street hotly pursued by enemy agents. On finding a dead end Jack would then cycle up the side of a monument, do a back flip over the agents and cycle back the way he came. Of course I wouldn’t be the one on the bike. We had experts to do those stunts; I was there to film a few close-ups.

I had chosen this film over a smaller indie picture. It had been a difficult decision. This type of big budget caper didn’t offer much credibility. In fact it was almost the opposite of how I wanted my career to go. I wanted to play troubled young men in quiet tense films. I didn’t want to be a teen spy. But then I imagined opening weekend; I imagined press junkets and visits to talk shows. The thought of my face plastered on the side of a bus chased all my quiet dreams clean out of my head.

My presence in some squeaky clean teen films a few years back had earned me a large following. They were pretty loyal and on this shoot there had been a number of them on the set every day. They would hover at the barriers waiting for me to appear. And when I did, Lord the shrieks and screams had scared half the cats in Paris. My only real sanctuary on that small street was a small café that was within our set boundaries. The owners didn’t mind being cut off from the rest of the population. The cast and crew were ordering enough coffee and cake to keep them in business for some time.

I was sitting in the café poring over an interview I had done some time before. I wasn’t happy with it. I thought it would appear in a Q&A format. Instead my answers were strewn about the interviewer’s article out of context. There was something about it that didn’t sit right. Sandra appeared at the doorway “There you are,” she said “are you ready? Tony has some time now if you want to learn that trick.” In my many magazine interviews I’d always been able to say that I did some of my own stunts in movies. Now my other films were more ‘teen comedy’ than ‘action’ so those stunts didn’t really amount to much. But I did want to be able to keep saying this so I’d approached the director to see if I could do something small. “I don’t have to be the guy back flipping in front of the Eiffel tower.” I said. “But maybe, I dunno a wheelie or something?”

I stood up and put the magazine into her hands. “Read that will you?” I asked “tell me if you think they made me look like an idiot.” We walked across the street and around the corner into a small alley. It was narrow and dark, a mugger’s paradise. Tony, one of our stunt riders stood there clutching a bike. “Hey Tony” I said “what have you got for me?”

The sun was hot in the sky and I still hadn’t mastered step one yet. “Ok let’s go” I could hear Tony shout from around the corner. I took a breath and pushed down on the pedals. I cycled around the corner, leaned back in my seat and pulled the handlebars towards me. This time the front wheel came off the ground, but almost as soon as it did I lost my balance. I leaned forward so that both wheels were back on the ground and planted one foot firmly on the ground to steady myself. I could hear my fans clapping my efforts from the other end of the street. “What do you think you did wrong?” asked Tony walking towards me. “I don’t know” I said “I just lost my balance I guess.” “You have to try to shift your centre of gravity once you lift the handlebars” said Tony.

“Fucking Tony” I thought. He was the type of guy who thought that if something came easily to him then it should come easily to everyone else. I sat back on the saddle and looked down the street. One of my girls threw her fist in the air and shouted “Yeah!” I waved, which sent her and the others into more noisery. An hour ago the thought had struck me to move elsewhere. Practising and failing in front of them and the increasingly tittery crew was not what I had in mind. But now I was determined to stay put. I knew I’d have to get it eventually, once they saw that then they’d forget my failures. “Just keep trying.” That’s how I’d spin it. “When things are tough, just tough it out.” I liked that, I’d have to remember that one. Tony coughed. I could tell that I’d worn through his patience.

I returned to my position in Mugger’s Lane and took a moment. I sat on the saddle and focused. I was going to cycle around the corner, I was going to lift the handlebars and shift my weight. I was going to execute the perfect wheelie and I was going to cycle down the street on my back wheel. A few minutes later my heart was beating so hard I thought it was going to jump out of my mouth. I was standing on the street, both handlebars held tightly, the bike perpendicular to the ground. “Honest to God,” I said “I thought I was going all the way over onto my back.” Tony looked away. I needed a break.

I sat on the steps of a nearby house and tried to look as though I was steeling myself for another go. Instead I was scrabbling through every excuse I could think of. I had to get out of doing this trick. The problem was I had made such a hoo hah about this thing. I wanted to be the one doing some of my own stunts. I’d asked for it, gotten it, and wasted people’s time in the process. I couldn’t just back out. Maybe if I had an injury. I reached down to rub my ankle and caught a look on Sandra’s face. It was only there briefly but I caught it, a smirk. There was no way of getting out of this.

“Do you want me to show you again?” asked Tony. “No” I said “I can’t tell what I’m supposed to do from just watching you. Maybe you could be clearer in explaining it.” Tony’s eyes flashed and for a brief second I thought he might actually hit me. He was quiet for a moment. “How about we try this from a different angle” he said “We’ll put you in position and hold you steady while you cycle on one wheel. Maybe if you get used to how that feels instinct will kick in when you try it yourself.”

A few minutes later I was balanced on my back wheel, smack bang in the middle of the Rue de Fumee. The bike was held in the wheelie position by two burly crew members. Tony stood behind me keeping me in place as I pushed the pedals. The four of us trundled down the street, when I gave the word the guys let go as I took the full weight of the handlebars and held myself in place. “That’s it man” called Tony “now you’ve got it.” There I was, cycling down our little street on one wheel. I furrowed my brow and concentrated on keeping this going. I was going to get all the way to the bottom of the street, right towards my gang of fans.

As I got closer a bit of boldness crept into me. I was going to cycle up to the curb and bounce the bike, on its back wheel onto it. Then I’d jump off with a flourish to the applause of the fans. Nobody would remember my earlier failures after that. Now what I needed was a bit more speed. I pedalled furiously towards the curb and as I approached I crouched down and tried to jump my body and the bike all in one go. The back wheel lifted off the ground, but only a couple of inches. It clipped the curb. In my panic I threw my feet to the ground, but the back of the bike swung around and took me with it. When I hit the ground I hit it bottom first, and I bounced. The handful of fans all gasped and strained to see if I was ok. One of them crouched down and thrust her hand through the barrier to paw at me. I batted her hand away as Sandra and Tony ran up to me.

“Are you alright?” asked Sandra. “It’s killing me.” I said. “What is?” asked Sandra. I motioned to how I had landed, still sprawled on my ass with both legs tangled with the bike. “Oh” said Sandra trying to suppress a smile. “You know what Tony,” I said, choosing to ignore Sandra “I think I’m going to call it a day.” He bent down and began to rescue his bike. “Fine” he said. He gave me a hand up and I kept it to shake it. “Thanks for your time,” I said “I guess bikes just aren’t my thing.”

We walked into the café and some glances came my way. I held my head high and walked to a table in the middle of the room. I sat down and almost jumped out of the chair from the pain. But I disguised it as best I could. Nevertheless I heard someone laugh. Sandra brought us some cakes and everyone returned to their conversations. “A teenaged spy.” I said shovelling a forkful of cake into my mouth. “That’s just a good idea. Who wouldn’t want to see that?” “A teenaged extreme sports star is our only hope when a global pandemic threatens us all.” Said Sandra repeating the tag line. “It will be a summer blockbuster.” “That’s right,” I said “It’s a license to print money.”

A little later we stood on the street and watched the big one get filmed. Some guy I had never met, the ‘me on the bike’ sprinted towards the monument at the end of the street. He cycled up the curved side of it and executed a perfect back flip, the Eiffel tower resplendent in the background. He landed perfectly and everyone applauded. “That didn’t look that hard.” I said.

Hrududu

First, a big ‘Thank You’ to all the writers who took the time to submit a story this weekend. Even on a casual glance, there is some wonderful work here. Big round of applause.

I’d also like to take a moment to exhort all those reading this - your input is extremely important to these authors. Yes, it will be difficult making a choice, but - it is not necessary to choose only one. Also, you are asked to choose your favourite - when in doubt, go with the one that struck a chord with you, that left a thought in your mind later that day, or the next day. I’d encourage folks to consider how well the authors worked with the compulsory material, but in the end - which one’s your favourite?

And now, I have some fresh reading material to revel in…

Amazing work, writers! I’m especially excited to see such a great turnout; I’m glad that we’re continuing with the multivote option, because I would have had a hard time picking just one favorite. And thanks, as always, to **Le Min **for organizing everything.

Dear reader, the poll will close in just under 52 hours, and at present, we have 18 votes.

Now, some of you may well be taking your time, and re-reading the stories to get a better comparison. That’s cool. Or, maybe, with so many good stories, you find it difficult to narrow your selection. That, too, is fine.

I just want to re-emphasize - this is a rare opportunity for these writers. Most submissions to magazines or story contests come back either rejected or accepted, with little or no useful commentary. Even writing workshops or courses, the feedback is skewed because the author is in the room with the person making the comment.

Here, you may cast your vote in the secure knowledge that none of us will know who voted; only, that something in story x struck readers more than story y… And that information is vital to any writer’s development.

So please - take a moment and voice your opinion after reading through this anthology. There are 20 authors here who would really appreciate it (whether you vote for their story or someone else’s)!

21 participants and only 20 voters…I wish we could get more people to read, though the current outcome won’t change (and I would have voted for Quarantine had I only had one vote!).

In any case, can a mod append “LAST DAY TO VOTE!” to the thread title?

Maybe get the poll extended another day? I just saw this.

Seconded. Maybe do some reading on a slow Sunday afternoon…

The poll has been extended till Tues. the 25th. Let me know if you need another extension after that.

twickster, Cafe Society moderator

Thank you, that is much appreciated by all the writers.

Yes, thank you!

I wish I hadn’t disappeared from the world for a while there… I would have loved to write in this. I just had some stuff going on. Read through them this morning; they’re all really good. It was hard to narrow it down!

Looking forward to the next one… and the next poetry sweatshop!

The poll has just now closed. I would first like to thank all of our particpants -

Koryphos,
xenophon41,
DMark,
Le Ministre de l’au-delà,
Spoons,
Elfkin477,
Cuckoorex,
A Man A Plan A Canal,
The Hamster King,
bazarov5000,
Chickie,
Stealth Potato,
ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies,
chrisk,
Maserschmidt,
Elendil’s Heir,
Incensed,
PsyXe,
redPen ** and
** Hrududu

  • take a well deserved bow, everyone. I was very impressed with the quality of everyone’s writing.

And a very special thanks to The Hamster King, who is the winner of the PoeHenryParkerSaki award for the outstanding story ‘Quarantine’. For those who didn’t realize it, The Hamster King was also the SDMB Poet Laureate in the January 2010 Poetry Sweatshop. Very well done, indeed!

And another thank you to the Mods for their ongoing help and support!

And thanks to you for running this contest – what a lot of work it is, and much appreciated.

Thank you for all your kind votes!

And thank you Le Ministre for organizing this. It was fun to write the story and it was even more fun to read what everyone else wrote. Part of what was so great was seeing all the different directions that people headed from the same starting point.

Well done The Hamster King and everyone. It was fun to do and I hope there will be more in the future.

I hope so too. It was fun, and it was great to see where everybody went from the small beginnings we were given.

There were many great stories here and I was impressed with all of them. I will admit that it has been some years since I wrote a short story, so I am very pleased that I was able to keep up with them.

Congratulations to the Hamster King, and a big “thank you” to Le Ministre for running the competition. I’ll look forward to the next one!

I would happily organize another at some point in the future, if the Mods are alright with the idea. I enjoy these creative writing challenges immensely!

I’d like to ask people’s opinions about a couple of things. Do you think we would get more voting if the word count on the stories were shorter? I am wondering if readers found the anthology too long to read all the way through and therefore did not express an opinion. Any thoughts?

As with the Poetry Sweatshops, I’m always wondering what I can do to improve the ratio of ‘visits’ to ‘votes’. (Not to mention getting more voters than participants.) I would happily solicit advice and opinions from participants and readers.

And congratulations once again to The Hamster King!

Maybe if the stories were hosted somewhere off-site, so that the thread didn’t start with a giant wall of text?

I wondered about that. Its a lot to read through, so maybe thats why the number of voters was small. A lower word count would definitely be a different challenge.

I think the word count was fine. It was an upper limit, so if something turned out to be shorter, there was no harm done. And because it was as long as it was, it probably allowed for plot developments and detail that might not be possible otherwise. Shorter would be challenging though. Wonder what I could do with the given elements if I had to be really short…

Interesting! Two sentences, 104 words (not counting the title), containing all required elements. Not happy with the title though.

Anyway, to return to your question, Le Ministre, I think that all the stories in one thread creates some intimidation. It seems to me that the thread becomes, space-wise if not post-wise, somewhat daunting. “How am I ever going to find the time to get through these?” a reader might ask, as he or she scrolls forever to get to the last one.

It would require the help of the mods, but perhaps a solution might be to post each story in its own sticky thread, under its own title. That way, readers could see how many stories there are, and could read through at their leisure, knowing which ones they haven’t read yet because of the link colour. Also, they could return and reread favourites without scrolling to find them. May be worth considering, anyway.