# Please de-friend me if... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 23, 2012, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678 "2012-10-23T23:25:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/21 "2012-10-24T04:57:44Z")
I agree that it is stupid to de-friend someone just because you disagree with their political views. It shows that you are too small-minded to understand why anyone might disagree with you. Myself, I have very conservative friends and very liberal friends. I really don’t know anyone that holds my particular blend of views - but even though I disagree with my friends on one thing or another, I can at least understand where they’re coming from and tolerate their views even if I don’t like them. Honestly, I really wish that everyone on Facebook would just STFU about politics. I think the majority of people go to facebook to see photos of people’s vacations/kids/pets/etc., chit chat, play those stupid games - TO RELAX, not to get stressed out over angry political debates. Sure, people who agree with you are going to say that you’re awesome every time you post another image to the newsfeed that compares the opposite political party with Hitler, but most likely you’re not changing anyone’s mind with your political rantings - most likely the people who don’t already agree are just getting annoyed by it. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/22 "2012-10-24T07:55:15Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > So today I posted, “Please de-friend me if you think de-friending someone on facebook over their political opinions is a good idea. I can’t believe people would actually be so stupid. Seriously. Don’t even say goodbye. Just do it.” > > Out of line? It’s a funny parody of their post. If they defriend you over it, they’ve got no sense of humour and it’s no great loss, IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/23 "2012-10-24T09:07:32Z")
People make political decisions for all sorts of reasons. Some are more-or-less arbitrary, and others are deal-breakers. If someone supports Romney because of the economy, I can’t 100% disagree with him. But if someone supports Romney specifically because of his opposition to same-sex marriage, then they consider me a second-class citizen, and I really don’t need them to be a part of my life. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/24 "2012-10-24T10:35:11Z")
I _have_ defriended people over politics, but not for their views. It’s been a defensive move to shut off the shit blizzard of posts they do. And it’s been on both sides of the aisle. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/25 "2012-10-24T11:18:06Z")
I have several family members who post a lot of political bullshit on facebook. I din’t like politics on facebook, it just bothers me in a social setting. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/26 "2012-10-24T11:42:23Z")
Imagine, if you will, that Mitt Romney (or the hypothetical presidential candidate of your choice) was on record as being in favor of congress overturning the various Civil Rights Acts and of a constitutional amendment overturning _Brown v. Board of Education_. Would you feel similarly put out by black friends telling you that they didn’t want to associate with anyone in favor of that platform? This stuff isn’t abstract political theater like how we would deal with a nuclear Iran or what the best way to handle the debt ceiling might be. This is about whether the law considers gay folks to be _people_ in the same way straight folks are _people_. It’s an important fight. If you’re willing to vote for a political platform that would delegitimatize the personhood of your friend, defriending him on Facebook should be no big thing, right? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/27 "2012-10-24T11:45:31Z")
I agrees 1000 percent with the OP and the folks here that generally agree with the OP. Og walked out of the cave a gazillion years ago. Og said “don’t discuss religion or politics in polite company”. Og was fucking right. Don’t dicuss such stuff with friends, relatives, or cow workers. And IF you do, have a pair and be able to handle it when the don’t agree with you on issue XYZ. Are they otherwise what you consider a good person? If so, then just MAYBE their stance you hate on XYZ isn’t because they are Hitler reincarenated, it’s because they have reasonable reasons to come to a different (gasp) conclusion on issue XYZ than you did. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/28 "2012-10-24T12:24:14Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > And I’m talking extremely gay people here, not in the closet or anything. I’m curious to hear you definition of extremely gay. > [@pulykamell](#): > > Wow. That just sounds nuts to me. What kind of insular world so you live in that you don’t have friends who will vote for Romney? Hell, I’m an Obama supporter, and I’m not even sure how my wife is voting. Sounds nuts to me too. If you are someone who can only associate with people in lock step with you there is a serious problem going on there. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/29 "2012-10-24T12:40:47Z")
I could go either way. I have a handful of very conservative Facebook friends who I enjoy debating on occasion - those conversations are generally pretty civil and enlightening. On the other hand, I have a very low tolerance for social conservatism. I will defriend anyone who expresses anti-gay or anti-minority sentiment. If I were a perfectly understanding person maybe I could just gently nudge them in the direction of tolerance, but the truth is I just get so incredibly angry I have decided there are certain kinds of arguments not worth the emotional upheaval. I completely understand why anyone would want to defriend someone supporting a platform that explicitly embraces the oppression of other human beings, particularly if you happen to be one of those the platform seeks to oppress. I don’t defriend people just for supporting Romney, but I do think given the egregious nature of his prejudice that such a vote is ethically indefensible. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/30 "2012-10-24T12:46:17Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > If so, then just MAYBE their stance you hate on XYZ isn’t because they are Hitler reincarenated, it’s because they have reasonable reasons to come to a different (gasp) conclusion on issue XYZ than you did. I’ll buy this when we’re discussing the economy, military issues, social programs, etc. I don’t particularly buy this when we’re talking about the essential worth of another human being. “I know we’re good friends and all, but the water fountain says ‘whites only’ for a reason.” ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/31 "2012-10-24T13:17:32Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I have several family members who post a lot of political bullshit on facebook. I din’t like politics on facebook, it just bothers me in a social setting. +1 And it would be nice if they could leave out the religious stuff too. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/32 "2012-10-24T13:58:43Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > I’ll buy this when we’re discussing the economy, military issues, social programs, etc. I don’t particularly buy this when we’re talking about the essential worth of another human being. And there lies the crux of the matter. Are they talking about jailing the gay people for just being gay or are they saying gay couples should not have ALL the benifits that married heterosexuals do because ya know those folks actually have to proceate and raise children and shit. And IMO thats the whole problem with Facebook and the internet in general. Somebody doesn’t EXACTLY have the same point of view about an issue that you do? He’s fucking Hitler dontcha know. Get a fucking grip. I gotta give great kudos to the OP. IIRC he is gay and still has enough sense to realize that everything that isn’t a 100 percent pro gay does not equal hang all the gay people. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/33 "2012-10-24T14:02:15Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > I _have_ defriended people over politics, but not for their views. It’s been a defensive move to shut off the shit blizzard of posts they do. And it’s been on both sides of the aisle. You don’t have to defriend. You can just hide their posts. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/34 "2012-10-24T14:15:18Z")
I’m pretty sure some people will be voting for Romney for reasons completely separate from his stance on gay marriage, which to them may well be a complete non-issue. Not only will I not blame them for that, I generally could care less about friend’s politics in general. It’s never been what’s drawn me into relationships, in fact I prefer to keep that out of our discussions entirely. All moot in the end as I don’t and won’t Facebook but if I did I’d have no tolerance for catty political machinations. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/35 "2012-10-24T14:20:35Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I’m pretty sure some people will be voting for Romney for reasons completely separate from his stance on gay marriage, which to them may well be a complete non-issue. Not only will I not blame them for that, I generally could care less about friend’s politics in general. It’s never been what’s drawn me into relationships, in fact I prefer to keep that out of our discussions entirely. > > All moot in the end as I don’t and won’t Facebook but if I did I’d have no tolerance for catty political machinations. Except for being on Facebook that is exactly how I feel. To tell the truth my friends don’t post much political stuff of FB except for a couple. I have another account that I only used for games and I don’t care who I friend on that one. Some of the posts are interesting but they are from strangers. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/36 "2012-10-24T14:24:45Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > You don’t have to defriend. You can just hide their posts. There are some people who reveal themselves to be toxic enough that hiding isn’t enough. I want them out of my life and sans access to me including facebook. I got no time for haters and complaining that the OP’s friend is passive-agressive is rewarding people for being sneaky about their prejudices. I got no time for two-faced liars either. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/37 "2012-10-24T14:27:16Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Hell, I’m an Obama supporter, and I’m not even sure how my wife is voting. Same here; I don’t know which way any of my wives will be voting. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/38 "2012-10-24T14:41:03Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > There are some people who reveal themselves to be toxic enough that hiding isn’t enough. I want them out of my life and sans access to me including facebook. Well then, that sounds like defriending in quite a real sense, not just getting annoyed at political glurge. ---
**Author:** ![inedible\_knapsack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/49beb7/32.png) [@inedible\_knapsack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inedible_knapsack)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/39 "2012-10-24T14:54:11Z")
A friend of my wife posted basically the exact same thing yesterday, except it was “if you’re planning on voting for **Obama**.” Maybe this is becoming a new fb fad? First, as others have mentioned, please don’t talk about religion or politics on Facebook, except in the most sterile, general ways. Pretend it’s a party of mixed company. Second, _for real_? You can’t even deal with the idea that someone may vote differently than you? Granted, in my case the guy has probably watched so much Fox News much that he believes Obama is the literal anti-christ, but then we’re looking at someone who can’t tell entertainment from reality. The real kicker: this individual was recently elected to our town’s school board. Yeah. As for me, if someone says stupid things enough, I simply block them except for important updates (whatever that is, it seems to prevent me from seeing 99% of their posts) and go about my business as usual. This roughly mirrors what I’d do IRL, which is ignore them, only being coldly polite when forced to interact. Only attention starved buffoons or children would ask others to unfriend them, for heaven’s sake. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678/40 "2012-10-24T15:06:07Z")
> [@A\_Nested\_Thorn](#): > > Only attention starved buffoons or children would ask others to unfriend them, for heaven’s sake. Yup. I’m not on face book, but think I would gladly drop anyone that used it as a soap box such as that. That’s all they are doing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-de-friend-me-if/638678.md?page=3)