# Please do not hit up my guests for sex **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 16, 2007, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927 "2007-07-16T02:20:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/61 "2007-07-17T15:06:10Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] Yes. I’d go on the side of just being rude to the guy. No need for ass-busting (metaphorical or literal), unless he doesn’t get the message. Mind you, I do have female relatives who would bust a woman’s ass for hitting on their men, but in my family, we tend to espouse a certain redneck sensibility. [/QUOTE] [Relatives of yours?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5x2lYtEid4M) ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/62 "2007-07-17T15:12:22Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] Well, I should hope no more dick head, if he gave you the whole length. _Runs very, very fast._ [/QUOTE] If his sense of ‘length’ is as over inflated as his ‘ego’, the only thing after his dick head would be his hip/beergut. But then, maybe he’d brag about how he could masterbate with his pinky while playing Playstation2 at the same time. _player One, In._ _player One, Out._ _player One, In._ I’m still trying to think of what the OP could have said when her friend said that the OP had let Shorty ‘slip her a length’. “Slip me a length? Hell, I thought that was just gas…” “Slip me a length? I’ve flushed classier little shits than him.” “Slip me a length? Well, I didn’t feel a thing, then, did I?” “Slip me a length? Of what? String?” “Slip me a length? Not much length there to slip, girl, is there?” “Slip me a length? Who’d he supposedly borrow a length from to slip me, anyway?” ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/63 "2007-07-17T15:19:46Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] [Relatives of yours?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5x2lYtEid4M) [/QUOTE] Og help me, I’m afraid to look. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/64 "2007-07-17T15:26:52Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] There is a double standard in operation, but there would have to be in an issue like this. I mean, I’ve never had someone see me walking down the street, offer me a ride in a car, and when I refuse start calling me vile names and suggest that I need a lesson in manners that involves getting buttfucked. [/quote] 'Sasmaybe, but I’ve never seen that either, and in any case, why take it out at the dude at the party when it’s the car artists you{rhetorical}'re mad at? > [@saoirse](#): > > I still agree that doing some sort of violence against the guy would be wrong. Grab him by the throat? Come on. Yeah, the post I was really impressed by was the one that went “OMG I would so pwn the guys’ ass, plus let him see my mighty collection of dedly wepnz so he’d know I could like freak out and totally kill him!!111!!!one” :rolleyes: As to double standards, I’m _fairly_ sure I’d be meant to keep my lip buttoned no matter what kind of potential bunny-boiler I might have hitting on me. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/65 "2007-07-17T15:50:42Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] Ditto. These days I’m my own knight, though. [/QUOTE] Knights are fairly thin on the ground these days. I’ve no problem being my own knight (now, but at the time-I was 18 and shy), my problem is not being believed. That’s why I informed my daughter and told her it’s ok to stop it, publicly. (so many people want to avoid “a scene”–it doesn’t have to be a scene, just a few words and moving away…) Re the married woman coming on to a man–I say do the same thing to her. Then again, if you want to play–that’s your business, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/66 "2007-07-17T16:09:07Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] As to double standards, I’m _fairly_ sure I’d be meant to keep my lip buttoned no matter what kind of potential bunny-boiler I might have hitting on me. [/QUOTE] To be fair, I meant in terms of spouses or partners of those hit on. What the women would say of a woman who hit on their man, not what a man would say of a woman who hit on him while he was taken. There does seem to be a tiny issue that a woman should be nastier to a man who hits on her in an unwanted way than a man should if the situation were reversed, but I also offer this: men are often more persistent when rejected than women are, and perhaps it is thought that a ruder dismissal will lessen the chances of repeats. However, when someone (male or female) is determined on caddish behavior, a nasty refusal may be the only way to go. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/67 "2007-07-17T16:16:52Z")
George Clooney couldn’t pick-up women with the line, “Hi, I’m married but my wife won’t have sex with me no matter how much I beg. So I’m asking every woman at this party if I can have sex with them. How about it?” ---
**Author:** ![Boggette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/858c86/32.png) [@Boggette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boggette)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/68 "2007-07-17T19:18:04Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] At the next party, when Penisaurus Rex makes his move, give him a sly smile, and agree, but only if you can get kinky with him. Take him to the spare room, get him nekkid, and tie him up to the four-poster. Then apply the ball gag and stuff a pink vibrator up his bum. Take some pictures, of course, and then leave the room. An hour later, muse aloud about the missing guest, and play a round of Where’s Waldo? [/QUOTE] Ah, Dances… Once again we’re on the same wavelength. There was a guy at college who was attempting to plow his way through the girls in my dorm. The thing was, none of them knew that he was hitting up all of them. I did, however. To make the long story short, he ended up nekkid and handcuffed to my bed, door wide open and music blaring polka. Needless to say, everyone stopped by to see what the heck was up with that music. 😃 The pink vibrator would have been an interesting touch. Too bad I hadn’t thought of that at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/69 "2007-07-17T19:32:41Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] I agree - but do it yourself, at least to start with. I simply hate the idea of being “rescued” as if I were some damsel in distress. God, how I’ve changed. In the old days I would have loved some knight in shining armor to ride up. [/QUOTE] I don’t think this is rescuing. I’m reading this as “Sleezoid is part of my husband’s circle of friends. I am friends with their wives through this relationship” If Sleezoid is husband’s friend, it may be seen as husband’s responsibility to tell his friend “NO. Do not proposition my wife, do not proposition our friends.” If Sleezoid is huband’s friend, it also means she at least needs to talk to her husband to let him know why his friend is suddenly persona non grata, even if she reserves the right to tell him where to stick it. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/70 "2007-07-17T19:34:59Z")
[QUOTE=Dangerosa] I don’t think this is rescuing. I’m reading this as “Sleezoid is part of my husband’s circle of friends. I am friends with their wives through this relationship” If Sleezoid is husband’s friend, it may be seen as husband’s responsibility to tell his friend “NO. Do not proposition my wife, do not proposition our friends.” If Sleezoid is huband’s friend, it also means she at least needs to talk to her husband to let him know why his friend is suddenly persona non grata, even if she reserves the right to tell him where to stick it. [/QUOTE] You don’t think that the wife should have already said something to him right at the point of the propositioning? Either way, in my case anyway, I would turn to hubby only as a last resort. But YES, I agree husband should be the third person to know, after sleezoid and myself. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/71 "2007-07-17T19:49:28Z")
> [@Telperien](#): > > These days I’m my own knight, though. That must be difficult. Tying yourself down on a warm and soft, and very, very big bed, and giving yourself a spanking. To say nothing of the oral sex. Still, I guess it beats the lonely boredom of life otherwise. Bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. [Enjoy,](http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/grail/grail-11.htm) Steven ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/72 "2007-07-17T19:55:39Z")
[QUOTE=Mtgman] That must be difficult. Tying yourself down on a warm and soft, and very, very big bed, and giving yourself a spanking. To say nothing of the oral sex. Still, I guess it beats the lonely boredom of life otherwise. Bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. [Enjoy,](http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/grail/grail-11.htm) Steven [/QUOTE] Well, actually, nowadays they have these fancy restraints you can rig up yourself. But the spanking and the oral sex are difficult, yes. And here, I’ll say it so no one else will have to–a guy who treated a girl in the manner described by **Boggette** (as treatment for a guy) would likely be in really big trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2007, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/73 "2007-07-17T21:42:07Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] Well, actually, nowadays they have these fancy restraints you can rig up yourself. But the spanking and the oral sex are difficult, yes. And here, I’ll say it so no one else will have to–a guy who treated a girl in the manner described by **Boggette** (as treatment for a guy) would likely be in really big trouble. [/QUOTE] Fuck, yes. He’d’ve been out of that college so fast his feet wouldn’t touch, and anyone who’d so much looked at her would have been suspended at the very least, and that would have been _before_ any kind of official hearing and the criminal prosecutions; and I’ll say it as loud as you like, **Telperien**. _scratches **Boggette** off the Christmas card list_ :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/74 "2007-07-18T00:18:06Z")
[QUOTE=DrunkFootballPlayer] There was a **CHICK** at college who was attempting to **SCORE HER** way through the **GUYS ON MY TEAM**. The thing was, none of them knew that **SHE** was hitting up all of them. I did, however. To make the long story short, **SHE** ended up nekkid and handcuffed to my bed, door wide open and music blaring **GANGSTA RAP**. Needless to say, everyone stopped by to see what the heck was up with that music. 😃 The **BROOMSTICK** would have been an interesting touch. Too bad I hadn’t thought of that at the time. [/QUOTE] Would that have seemed clever or amusing to you, **Boggette**? ---
**Author:** ![Boggette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/858c86/32.png) [@Boggette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boggette)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/75 "2007-07-18T01:18:36Z")
[QUOTE=Scissorjack] Would that have seemed clever or amusing to you, **Boggette**? [/QUOTE] You’re right. It was a horrible thing to have done. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/76 "2007-07-18T09:32:00Z")
Fair do’s, most people would have tried to make excuses about how they were right all along, so have one point of karma back, **Boggette**. Society’s partly to blame. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/77 "2007-07-18T17:30:26Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] You don’t think that the wife should have already said something to him right at the point of the propositioning? Either way, in my case anyway, I would turn to hubby only as a last resort. But YES, I agree husband should be the third person to know, after sleezoid and myself. [/QUOTE] Yes, she should say no. But if it comes down to the heart to heart talk with Sleezoid about why he and Harpy are no longer going to be invited to parties, (or be given a last chance to change that behavior before they find themselves in need of a new circle of friends) that MAY be the responsibility of the “closest friend” which I’m reading to be the guys, rather than their wives. And I wouldn’t publically humiliate my husband’s friends without clearing it with my husband. It isn’t submissive, its that when his guest gets publically humiliated in his home by his wife because friend has behaved inappropriately, it potentially embarrasses my husband. His friend’s behavior reflects back on him. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2007, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/78 "2007-07-18T18:39:04Z")
There are some guys who would react by becoming IRL heroes. If the husband is one of those, it would be better to mention that Skeezix has been hitting on/lying about some other wife. I wonder now if this guy is trying to “accidentally” cause a confrontation with his wife. If their marriage is that bad (excluding the lack of sex, which is almost certainly bullshit) he might just want to effect a public meltdown. ---
**Author:** ![DellieM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@DellieM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DellieM)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2007, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/79 "2007-07-19T01:18:08Z")
UPDATE: 12.30 tomorrow myself, and two of the ‘wives’ are having a discreet face to face with him on neutral ground. We’ve chatted through what we’ll say, and I have to admit that I am a little amazed at how angry the other two are, now that they are going to get a chance to tell him that his advances aren’t wanted, aren’t flattering and it ‘ends now’. He’s a bit worried about what’s going on - hopefully a frank honest and upfront ‘cards on table’ talk will end this mess for good. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2007, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927/80 "2007-07-19T03:53:20Z")
[QUOTE=Boggette] Ah, Dances… Once again we’re on the same wavelength. [/QUOTE] Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-do-not-hit-up-my-guests-for-sex/411927.md?page=5)