# please don't poop \*on\* the toilet seat **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 1, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620 "2005-12-01T21:20:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/21 "2005-12-02T19:42:50Z")
> [@Sierra Indigo](#): > > On the BACK of the seat? > > I can kind of understand a drop or two on the front of the seat. Goodness knows it happens to the best of us. But how the hell does a woman get pee on the _BACK_ of the seat? Yes, as **Fear Itself** posted- “hover pee”, and it also looks like “hover shit”. Guys- if you pee in the toilet, as opposed to the urinal- then PUT THE DAMN SEAT UP! Gals- if you are so afraid of germs that you insist upon a "hover pee’ or “hover shit”- THEN PUT THE DAMN SEAT UP OR USE THE DAMN SEATCOVERS!! Then clean up after yourselves. Strangely- women are the biggest pigs in public toilets. Their home bathrooms may be spotless, but they become rude dirty pigs when using a public restroom. This is the reason why allowing the females to use the Mens when the Women’s gets a long line isn’t an idea which I am generally in favor of. Oh and DON’T FLUSH YOUR USED KOTEX & STUFF DOWN THE TOILET!!! ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/22 "2005-12-03T01:44:56Z")
Great post, **Lissa**! > [@Sierra Indigo](#): > > But how the hell does a woman get pee on the _BACK_ of the seat? I’m convinced that some women have strategically-placed body jewelry in the shape of a sprinkler head. ---
**Author:** ![gazpacho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@gazpacho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gazpacho)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/23 "2005-12-03T01:48:55Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Yes, as **Fear Itself** posted- “hover pee”, and it also looks like “hover shit”. > > Guys- if you pee in the toilet, as opposed to the urinal- then PUT THE DAMN SEAT UP! > > Gals- if you are so afraid of germs that you insist upon a "hover pee’ or “hover shit”- THEN PUT THE DAMN SEAT UP OR USE THE DAMN SEATCOVERS!! Then clean up after yourselves. Strangely- women are the biggest pigs in public toilets. Their home bathrooms may be spotless, but they become rude dirty pigs when using a public restroom. This is the reason why allowing the females to use the Mens when the Women’s gets a long line isn’t an idea which I am generally in favor of. Oh and DON’T FLUSH YOUR USED KOTEX & STUFF DOWN THE TOILET!!! You think people that are doing a hover pee because of ickyness on the seat are going to touch that thing to raise the seat? ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/24 "2005-12-03T01:56:39Z")
I considered hover pee, but then she’d have to be angling her ass backward in order to do that, which must be mighty uncomfortable (possibly why she pissed on the seat?) God only knows why, though. The toilets at work are cleaned at least twice a day, and being that there’s only ever a handful of chicas working in our dept, it’s not like you’re going to sit on anything that some freak from the street has brought in. There’s a good chance that the 'loo you’re sitting on hasn’t been used since it was last cleaned. Jesus bitches, your heinie’s not that precious - Just plonk it down, or wipe after you’re done! ---
**Author:** ![yBeayf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/e274bd/32.png) [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/25 "2005-12-03T03:26:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Guys- if you pee in the toilet, as opposed to the urinal- then PUT THE DAMN SEAT UP! Depends. The men’s room right next to my afternoon class, everybody uses the stalls because the urinals are the most ridiculous things ever (if they were raised 12 inches, they’d be sinks). Since everybody uses the stalls, the seats are always covered with foetid, gelatinous-looking urine. Since the seats are covered with said urine, nobody bothers to put the seats up when urinating for fear of touching the yellow slime. It’s a never-ending cycle of ickyness. ---
**Author:** ![Apricot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bcef8e/32.png) [@Apricot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apricot)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/26 "2005-12-03T04:48:28Z")
I had a houseguest poo on the toliet seat and leave it. My husband alerted me to the fact that the front bath was not sanitary. I simply locked the door until later that afternoon, then got my screwdriver and removed the seat and threw it in the garbage. I really did need a new one. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/27 "2005-12-03T06:06:20Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > So, **Lissa** , how’s that college education working out\*? Don’t have one, actually. The museum industry is one of the few where experience and training can matter more than education, unless you’re going into museum administration. Each place varies, of course, but smaller museums often don’t require a degree. The museum in which I work has a very small staff, meaning everyone is a Jack of All Trades. At noon I may be cleaning a priceless piece of artwork, then at one, scrubbing a toilet. Whatever needs done. I always say that at least it’s not boring. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/28 "2005-12-03T07:28:33Z")
> [@Apricot](#): > > I had a houseguest poo on the toliet seat and leave it. My husband alerted me to the fact that the front bath was not sanitary. I simply locked the door until later that afternoon, then got my screwdriver and removed the seat and threw it in the garbage. I really did need a new one. That’s a bit extreme, innit? (Unless the seat was actually cracked such that it pinched, or something – which might go some ways toward explaining the mystery of how someone managed to poop on it. Yeow!) ---
**Author:** ![Apricot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bcef8e/32.png) [@Apricot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apricot)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/29 "2005-12-03T08:17:09Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > That’s a bit extreme, innit? (Unless the seat was actually cracked such that it pinched, or something – which might go some ways toward explaining the mystery of how someone managed to poop on it. Yeow!) The paint had bubbled on the underside, making it difficult to clean. It really did need to be replaced, unrelated to the guest pooper. I’m not the squeemish sort, but I just felt dis-respected in my own home. If she had made even the slightest attempt to swab at the thick, pasty stripe, I would have been placated. But she did not. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/30 "2005-12-03T17:41:52Z")
Man, the only way I can think of that crapping on the seat can occur is either if you’re hovering, or if you have an assplosion occur before fully seated. But not cleaning it up? Not cool. I’m one of those stands-up-to-wipe people. I had something of an accident happen when I was in college. I was wiping up after a relatively normal BM, and it was that sort of thick, peanut-buttery crap that takes a million wipes to get all of it off, you know? Well, one clump of poo-smeared t.p. that I tossed _bounced off the toilet seat_ and **landed on the shoe** of the chick in the stall next to me. “Ewww! Ewww!” She shrieked, kicking her foot wildly, and she very quickly hiked up her pants and left the washroom in a hurry. I was monumentally embarrassed and convulsed with laughter at the same time, a very strange feeling. ---
**Author:** ![liberty3701](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@liberty3701](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liberty3701)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/31 "2005-12-03T18:21:09Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > I’m one of those stands-up-to-wipe people. I had something of an accident happen when I was in college. I was wiping up after a relatively normal BM, and it was that sort of thick, peanut-buttery crap that takes a million wipes to get all of it off, you know? Well, one clump of poo-smeared t.p. that I tossed _bounced off the toilet seat_ and **landed on the shoe** of the chick in the stall next to me. “Ewww! Ewww!” She shrieked, kicking her foot wildly, and she very quickly hiked up her pants and left the washroom in a hurry. I was monumentally embarrassed and convulsed with laughter at the same time, a very strange feeling. oh, the tears, tears in my eyes… though, of course, i have another thing to add to my growing list of social phobias… ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/32 "2005-12-03T19:11:24Z")
> [@liberty3701](#): > > oh, the tears, tears in my eyes… though, of course, i have another thing to add to my growing list of social phobias… Yet anthor reason why I never use a stall if the other one is in use. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/33 "2005-12-03T20:21:36Z")
> [@Apricot](#): > > I had a houseguest poo on the toliet seat and leave it. My husband alerted me to the fact that the front bath was not sanitary. I simply locked the door until later that afternoon, then got my screwdriver and removed the seat and threw it in the garbage. I really did need a new one. :eek: I hope you didn’t invite her over again! ---
**Author:** ![MelCthefirst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MelCthefirst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MelCthefirst)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/34 "2005-12-03T21:03:13Z")
Speaking of poo on toilet seats - why are Middle Eastern and Asian public loos worse than European public loos? (not always, but generally speaking) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/35 "2005-12-03T22:20:50Z")
> [@Avarie537](#): > > I hope you didn’t invite her over again! That is pretty nasty – but somehow I feel a bit jaded after reading a Doper’s account of a repeat guest that had a habit of wiping her ass on towels and putting them back in the linen closet. Some people are messed up. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2005, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/36 "2005-12-03T22:28:44Z")
> [@Jurph](#): > > I would like to interject here that a week ago, I had a dream that I shat a coil so long that it filled the bowl to overflowing. I had to stand up to make room for it as it progressed, leaving it arched behind me like a squishy brown vertical Pisa, and when I finally got clear of it, it ended up falling over like the last glop of soft-serve ice cream – draped over the handle so that its weight alone was enough to depress the handle and cause the toilet to flush in futility. > > Yeah, it was a pretty fucked-up dream. > > Seriously, who shits on the seat? You wouldn’t have happened to be reading _Ed the Happy Clown_ before sleepytime, would you? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/37 "2005-12-04T00:12:35Z")
> [@Sierra Indigo](#): > > But how the hell does a woman get pee on the _BACK_ of the seat? Maybe she has a prehensile pudenda? Do you have her number? ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2005, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/38 "2005-12-04T03:09:54Z")
> [@](#): > > Speaking of poo on toilet seats - why are Middle Eastern and Asian public loos worse than European public loos? (not always, but generally speaking) I haven’t tried Middle Eastern public loos, but I was startled at how disgusting Japanese public bathrooms could be. The only good part was they were almost all squat toilets, so at least you don’t have to actually _touch_ anything. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/39 "2005-12-05T14:14:38Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > Well, one clump of poo-smeared t.p. that I tossed _bounced off the toilet seat_ and **landed on the shoe** of the chick in the stall next to me. “Ewww! Ewww!” She shrieked, kicking her foot wildly, and she very quickly hiked up her pants and left the washroom in a hurry. I was monumentally embarrassed and convulsed with laughter at the same time, a very strange feeling. 😃 On your way out, did you see a shoe in the trash bin? > [@gazpacho](#): > > You think people that are doing a hover pee because of ickyness on the seat are going to touch that thing to raise the seat? I use the bottom of my shoe to lift public toilet seats. I’ve also been able flush virtually every urinal I’ve ever used with my foot. While the urinal flushing can be a bit tricky, the lifting-the-seat-with-the-shoe thing is pretty easy. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/40 "2005-12-05T14:18:58Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > I use the bottom of my shoe to lift public toilet seats. I’ve also been able flush virtually every urinal I’ve ever used with my foot. While the urinal flushing can be a bit tricky, the lifting-the-seat-with-the-shoe thing is pretty easy. That’s pretty disgusting and thoughtless. Especially the urinal flush handle, which is now filthier than before you used it. Did you ever think of using a piece of tissue to flush? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620.md?page=3)