# please don't poop \*on\* the toilet seat **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 1, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620 "2005-12-01T21:20:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/41 "2005-12-05T14:34:54Z")
> [@Fear Itself](#): > > That’s pretty disgusting and thoughtless. Especially the urinal flush handle, which is now filthier than before you used it. Did you ever think of using a piece of tissue to flush? There’s no tissue near the urinals. The shoe only touches the underside of the toilet seat. The urinal handle is best addressed with the shoe upper, because I’m afraid I’ll stomp too hard and break the handle. In crowded restrooms I’m generally too timid to do it that way. Regardless, unless my shoe has been in a stall next to **Amazon Floozy Goddess** , the upper is generally not very unsanitary. So don’t fret. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/42 "2005-12-05T14:36:40Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > There’s no tissue near the urinals. So it’s just too inconvenient to be considerate of others? ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/43 "2005-12-05T14:50:41Z")
> [@Fear Itself](#): > > So it’s just too inconvenient to be considerate of others? Did you just switch to decaf? Very well then: I have erred and I will change my ways. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/44 "2005-12-05T15:21:09Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > Well, one clump of poo-smeared t.p. that I tossed _bounced off the toilet seat_ and **landed on the shoe** of the chick in the stall next to me. “Ewww! Ewww!” She shrieked, kicking her foot wildly, and she very quickly hiked up her pants and left the washroom in a hurry. I was monumentally embarrassed and convulsed with laughter at the same time, a very strange feeling. That’s probably the best thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. To add to the thread: I had to use the bathroom at Wal-Mart yesterday. Well, oddly enough on one of the toilet seats, there were droplets of poo. It looked like someone had sprayed poop out of a squirt gun or something, all over the back of the seat. I mean, come on. How does that even happen? Oh and someone pooped on the floor at the Smithsonian when I was there last summer. There it was - a nice big turd just laying there on the floor in front of Og and everyone. A while ago there was a thread (I forgot who it was by or even what it was called) where people told about funny things they randomly heard from strangers. One person said that they were in the bathroom stall and heard a small child’s voice say “The poo is spraying, daddy! The poo is spraying!”. Jesus, every time I think of that I literally laugh out loud. Every. Time. I’m laughing right now just thinking about it, and of course if someone were to ask me why I was laughing then I’d have to tell them and I probably wouldn’t have any friends left. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/45 "2005-12-05T15:41:24Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > There’s no tissue near the urinals. The shoe only touches the underside of the toilet seat. The urinal handle is best addressed with the shoe upper, because I’m afraid I’ll stomp too hard and break the handle. In crowded restrooms I’m generally too timid to do it that way. Regardless, unless my shoe has been in a stall next to **Amazon Floozy Goddess** , the upper is generally not very unsanitary. So don’t fret. Hey, my aim’s not _that_ bad. 😃 And yeah, I’d wager that the tops of shoes are far more sanitary than a lot of people’s hands. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/46 "2005-12-05T15:44:10Z")
> [@raz](#): > > To add to the thread: I had to use the bathroom at Wal-Mart yesterday. Well, oddly enough on one of the toilet seats, there were droplets of poo. It looked like someone had sprayed poop out of a squirt gun or something, all over the back of the seat. I mean, come on. How does that even happen? Have you ever had explosive diarrhea? Could be the person had dropped trou and was just beginning to sit down when the pressure broke loose. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/47 "2005-12-05T17:54:30Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > And yeah, I’d wager that the tops of shoes are far more sanitary than a lot of people’s hands. That was my reasoning; however, one must seek the examined life, no? (I had a frat brother who reasoned that since his dick was in his pants all day, it was probably quite clean. Therefore, he should wash his hands _before_ he takes a leak rather than afterward.) ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/48 "2005-12-06T02:34:56Z")
This thread it hilarious. > [@Apricot](#): > > I had a houseguest poo on the toliet seat and leave it. My husband alerted me to the fact that the front bath was not sanitary. I simply locked the door until later that afternoon, then got my screwdriver and removed the seat and threw it in the garbage. I really did need a new one. OK, so am I the only one who wants to know how the rest of the visit went after this incident? I mean, how did you sit next to her at the dinner table that night? Or did you pull an **EddyTeddyFreddy** and run through the house wielding the soiled toilet seat, demanding her butthole be soldered shut? Enquiring minds want to know. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/49 "2005-12-06T20:49:02Z")
Every time I scroll down the list of threads on this forum lately and see the title of this one, I hear the Andrews Sisters singing: _“Please don’t poop on the toilet seat With anyone else but me…”_ > [@yBeayf](#): > > Depends. An excellent answer in the context of this thread. I should add that the events described here are possibly not as disgusting as the time I used the bathroom in a delicatessen that was experiencing some tense relations between the boss and his staff. When I went to wash my hands, I discovered that someone had pooped mightily _in the sink_. I haven’t been back since. The incident doesn’t associate well with a nice corned beef sandwich. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/50 "2005-12-06T21:32:23Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > …I used the bathroom in a delicatessen …When I went to wash my hands, I discovered that someone had pooped mightily _in the sink_. > > I haven’t been back since. Gosh, I _can’t_ imagine why. 🙂 In the labor dispute, was it the manager crapping in the sink just to make the employees clean it up? That just ain’t kosher! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/51 "2005-12-07T04:02:24Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > In the labor dispute, was it the manager crapping in the sink just to make the employees clean it up? That just ain’t kosher! No samples were taken for DNA testing. At least not by me. However, announcement that such testing is in the offing might have a deterrent effect on errant poopers in the workplace - or at least make for a dynamic episode of _Forensic Files_. ---
**Author:** ![Apricot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bcef8e/32.png) [@Apricot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apricot)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/52 "2005-12-07T04:49:35Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > OK, so am I the only one who wants to know how the rest of the visit went after this incident? I mean, how did you sit next to her at the dinner table that night? Or did you pull an **EddyTeddyFreddy** and run through the house wielding the soiled toilet seat, demanding her butthole be soldered shut? Enquiring minds want to know. I didn’t find out about it until she left. My husband went to use the facilities as I was waving them off for home. It was then that he had to detour to the other bathroom and whispered to me as they were leaving. He didn’t make the nature of the problem clear - I thought perhaps the toliet was clogged. As far as interacting with her - I negected to mention that this person is a family member. I’ve never mentioned it to her, but I am becoming convinced that I am the target of some passive agressive behavior from her. I can’t say I’m too angry now. It’s just too good a story. It’s like when someone pointed a gun at me in traffic or gI got into a car crash while naked. The residual story-telling benefits are payback enough. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620/53 "2005-12-07T15:49:29Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > \I should add that the events described here are possibly not as disgusting as the time I used the bathroom in a delicatessen that was experiencing some tense relations between the boss and his staff. When I went to wash my hands, I discovered that someone had pooped mightily _in the sink_. > > I haven’t been back since. The incident doesn’t associate well with a nice corned beef sandwich. :dubious: That just reminds me - a few months ago the Centre Manager for our call centre had to send around a Centrewide email, admonishing someone for _repeatedly_ taking a dump in the urinal in the men’s room. As in more than once. We’ve got some real grots working here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-poop-on-the-toilet-seat/333620.md?page=2)