# Please don't wish every woman you see tomorrow a happy Mother's Day **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 4, 2019, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467 "2019-05-04T13:01:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2019, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/41 "2019-05-05T07:38:52Z")
Given that my Mom has passed, and my ex-wife and I had no children, I will wish my sister–who has given birth to two fine boys–a happy Mother’s Day. But that’s about the extent of what Mother’s Day means to me now. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2019, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/42 "2019-05-05T08:11:54Z")
Growing up Mormon, they would give out carnations to the mothers in church, letting all the childless women feel like shit. At some point, they switched to all women 18 and older which still made a lot of women feel like shit. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2019, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/43 "2019-05-05T09:20:05Z")
I have never wished anybody a happy mother’s day. That’s just not how it’s done. ---
**Author:** ![Skypist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skypist/32/169_2.png) [@Skypist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skypist)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2019, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/44 "2019-05-05T09:49:53Z")
Back when I was a kid and used to go to church, they definitely gave out carnations but there was something about getting a white one if your mother was dead and a red one if alive (or the other way around). What was THAT even about? Way to bring up even MORE issues! I don’t remember everyone getting a flower, just mothers, and yet the color seemed to be based on the status of the mother’s mother…weird. And now having gotten to solid, solid middle age without having had kids, I’d be super annoyed to be singled out as not being a mother or hey, let’s give all women a flower regardless of reproductive status! I usually don’t want to/have to go out in public on Mother’s Day so I guess I’ve been spared this particular indignity in the last few years. I was a little scared when I saw the OP because I’d really thought we had another week…😉 ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2019, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/45 "2019-05-05T10:37:53Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > People do that? > > The person you’re supposed to say it to is your mother, and maybe other maternal family members, or even friends who are like mothers to me. MAYBE I might say it to a friend who is a new mother as a way of congratulating them, or someone I know is really into Mother’s Day. > > But why in the world would I say it to a stranger? It wouldn’t even occur to me. I don’t know you. And it’s not like I live in one of those places where talking to strangers in general is rude. Arkansas may be the Upper South, but we definitely do the traditional small talk with strangers. > > Don’t get me wrong. I totally get why you wouldn’t want people to say it. I’m just saying it never would have occurred to me to do so, even without considering how it might make someone feel bad. ^^ This ^^ It’s not fucking Christmas. You no more say “happy Mother’s Day” to random strangers than you wish them a “happy birthday”. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2019, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/46 "2019-05-05T13:10:07Z")
Today I will wish every woman I know who is a mother a happy Orthodox Mother’s Day. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2019, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/47 "2019-05-05T13:18:08Z")
My gf has no children, although I like to think that she sort of shares my adult kids with me. Occasionally people we have just met will ask if we have any kids. I always reply with a twinkle in my eye, “Not yet, but we haven’t given up trying!” I’m 61, she’s 60. People never know how to reply to my sorta non sequitur. ---
**Author:** ![Royal\_Nonesutch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecb155/32.png) [@Royal\_Nonesutch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Royal_Nonesutch)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2019, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/48 "2019-05-05T14:10:06Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > My gf has no children, although I like to think that she sort of shares my adult kids with me. > > Occasionally people we have just met will ask if we have any kids. I always reply with a twinkle in my eye, “Not yet, but we haven’t given up trying!” I’m 61, she’s 60. People never know how to reply to my sorta non sequitur. From “The Birdcage” Albert (Nathan Lane)—“Oh, Armand, our baby is going to leave us. And we won’t have any others.” Armand (Robin Williams)—“Not without a miracle…” ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2019, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/49 "2019-05-05T16:55:49Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > My gf has no children, although I like to think that she sort of shares my adult kids with me. > > Occasionally people we have just met will ask if we have any kids. I always reply with a twinkle in my eye, “Not yet, but we haven’t given up trying!” I’m 61, she’s 60. People never know how to reply to my sorta non sequitur. I’m stealing this if the opportunity ever arises. It reminds me a little of a comment I made to my father-in-law after I had been married a little over a year. FIL was notorious for being up in all four of his kids’ business with respect to romantic relationships, to the point where none of the kids would tell their parents about a new boyfriend or girlfriend unless they were extremely serious, because they didn’t want dad to pester them with questions. My husband at the time was the oldest child and the first to marry. FIL’s mother died and so we went to the funeral. At the funeral reception, FIL came over to us and said, “You know, I was playing poker with four of my friends the other night. And I looked at the first guy, Bob, and I thought to myself, ‘yeah, he’s a grandfather.’ Then I looked at the next guy Fred and thought, ‘yeah, he is a grandfather too.’ And I looked at the next two guys, Joe and Mike, and said, 'both of them are grandfathers! I’m the only one here who isn’t a grandfather yet!” FIL looked at us meaningfully. I stepped up, looked him straight in the eye, and said in a loud, clear voice: “Well you know, Mark, we haven’t figured out how to do it yet.” Luckily he took it well and burst out laughing. And he never bugged us about giving him grandchildren again. . ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2019, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/50 "2019-05-05T19:36:03Z")
At a church of which I am no longer a member roses were passed out to women who were mothers. This was a new thing, I think the idea of our new pastor. I told him about how it bothered me, aai had no kids and then never would. The guy did not understand why I was upset. and di not even pretend to try. I had already had issues with him, not liking a number of things he had said, his attitudes and ideas. When not too much later I decided to leave that congregation he never even called, or seemed to care. ---
**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2019, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/51 "2019-05-05T23:19:37Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > I have no children, about which I’m not horribly upset, but still. My mother’s dead. She’s been dead a while and it’s not as bad as it was the first year, but still. > > Yeah. Wish ‘happy mother’s day’ to your mother, and your mother-in-law, presuming they’re alive and you’re on speaking terms; and if you want to those of your relatives/friends who you know are mothers. Don’t just wish it to random women on the street, or on the checkout line. Yeah, the first year was horrible and completely blindsided me. Since then I’ve noticed that there are often articles in the press precisely for the motherless and the acknowledgement does make it better. And a note for those bereaved of their fathers too, although there is less fuss over Fathers Day (is it even done in the States?), you too should be considered. ---
**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2019, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/52 "2019-05-05T23:30:38Z")
> [@FinsToTheLeft](#): > > In the UK it is in March. Actually it’s three weeks before Easter so it moves and can be in April. It was originally a religious festival to honour one’s mother or home church. > [@](#): > > [Mothering Sunday](https://www.timeanddate.com/holidays/uk/mothering-sunday) was originally a time when people returned to the church, in which they were baptized or where they attended services when they were children. This meant that families were reunited as adults returned to the towns and villages where they grew up. In time, it became customary for young people who were working as servants in large houses, to be given a holiday on Mothering Sunday. They could use this day to visit their own mother and often took a gift of food or hand-me-down clothing from their employers to her. In turn, this moved towards the modern holiday, on which people still visit and take gifts to their mothers. When I was a kid my local C of E church gave all the children flowers to take home to their mothers on Mothers Day. I got the idea of supplementing these with wild flowers picked form the hedgerow on the way home. Mum was pretty pleased about that 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2019, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/53 "2019-05-06T02:07:16Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > At a church of which I am no longer a member roses were passed out to women who were mothers. This was a new thing, I think the idea of our new pastor. I told him about how it bothered me, aai had no kids and then never would. The guy did not understand why I was upset. and di not even pretend to try. I had already had issues with him, not liking a number of things he had said, his attitudes and ideas. When not too much later I decided to leave that congregation he never even called, or seemed to care. That Fred Phelps never did have any class, did he? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2019, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/54 "2019-05-06T03:29:02Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > That Fred Phelps never did have any class, did he? 😃 It was not him of course, but odd you should bring up Phred. Our minister before the new guy was attacked by the Phelps clan, who came onto church property to do it, claiming he had thrown a hammer at them. They piled on top of him until the police got there, then charged our guy with assault. I do not think the congregation as a whole suppported him enough. One of the issues I had with the new pastor was something I heard him say, about how he was not looking to do anything that would get him piled on by the WBC. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2019, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/55 "2019-05-06T03:37:35Z")
> [@Richard\_Pearse](#): > > It’s not fucking Christmas. You no more say “happy Mother’s Day” to random strangers than you wish them a “happy birthday”. Although now it’s struck me that if I did go around saying “happy birthday” to random strangers on random days, I would have an approximately 1 in 365 chance of guessing right, and the expression on that one-in-a-few-hundred person’s face would be worth seeing. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2019, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/56 "2019-05-06T05:45:15Z")
> [@FinsToTheLeft](#): > > In the UK it is in March. In Spain and most of Latin America, first Sunday in May (so, yesterday). ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2019, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/57 "2019-05-06T20:27:38Z")
These days it’s a dicey proposition to assume someone’s gender, let alone maternal propensity & status. Fuggit, I ain’t talkin to anything that looks even the slightest bit womany. Except for The Missus, and then only when spoken to. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2019, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/58 "2019-05-06T21:20:35Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > …but according to the rah-rah’s… > [@elbows](#): > > Rah rahs ?? > [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > …Religious Radicals. It’s what my sister the lesbian calls people who are totally “rah-rah” about their religion… How silly of us to not be hip to what your sister the lesbian calls religious radicals. mmm ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2019, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/59 "2019-05-06T21:36:10Z")
Why on earth should I wish anyone other than my mother happy mother’s day? They’re not my mother; they’re not my problem. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2019, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467/60 "2019-05-07T00:13:02Z")
I generally respond to (inapplicable) Mother’s Day greetings with “Thanks, you too!” I don’t go around offering them to other people unsolicited, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-dont-wish-every-woman-you-see-tomorrow-a-happy-mothers-day/833467.md?page=4)