# Please empty the entire two litre bottle of mayonaise onto my burger. Thankyou. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 9, 2003, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037 "2003-05-09T03:10:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![LCP2972](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@LCP2972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LCP2972)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037/161 "2003-05-23T10:22:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by athene1765 \* > […but I will get burger’s from Dan’s Hamburgers. You folks outside Austin don’t know what you’re missing… > > I\*\* Thank you, yes Dan’s is about the best in town, vying only with the offshoot, Fran’s. I firmly believe that the gateway to heaven lies somewhere on South 1st near Dan’s, but it could be the one on South Congress, instead. Ever notice how the furthest north either Fran’s or Dan’s goes is Keonig? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037/162 "2003-05-23T10:41:42Z")
FAYI NTIMA I happen to be a big fan of fast food ‘joints’ (places, not drugs) and never request anything not on the menu (such as bigmac - hold the meat, and the bun) MY OP (NTIAC. JPTO) was about the apparent inability og all **non-chain** (individual family owned one-off places) employees to know what a normal dosage of mayonaise looks like. or what the phrase ‘not too much’ means. AIH KFC do put a shitload of mayonaise on their fillet burgers. but I never attempt to request otherwise, as I usually wipe it off (or leave it on and enjoy the instant laxative effect of too much mayo) OAOTSOKFC - for a long while my local KFC would give completely the wrong thing (you would ask for a filet burger. and they would WITHOUT FAIL give you a zinger burger) I used to get an order from my place of work. one guy would always ask for a filet. He would ask me to ask the KFC drone to make sure he gave me a filet and not a zinger. Reluctantly I did. for the first 4 times they did give the wrong burger. I think it was me that put a stop to that (inadvertantly) ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037/163 "2003-05-23T10:44:27Z")
FAYI - For All Your Information NTIMA - Not That It Matters Anyway NTIAC - Not That I Am Complaining JPTO - Just Pointing This Out AIH - As It Happens OAOTSOKFC - Oh, And On The Subject Of Kentucky Fried Chicken og - of ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037/164 "2003-05-23T16:04:13Z")
Og Smash Acronyms! ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037/165 "2003-05-23T23:09:39Z")
People, I worked in fast food for two years during HS and I can tell you this - some days, you’re just not meant to get that chicken. You can place your order and open your little red striped box to find something else and send it back, and we’d do our best to put the right thing in it, but now and then, for some unlucky schmuck, it just wasn’t happening. I figured it was the Colonel’s ghost’s way of telling them to lay off the bird. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037/166 "2003-05-24T00:10:33Z")
You know what? I don’t even make special orders, and the folks at Wendy’s still can’t get it right. “Hi, I’ll have 2 1/4 _cheeseburgers_ and two Frosties.” “Would you like to make that a meal?” “No thank you.” “would you like fries?” “No thank you.” “Would you like anything else?” “No, just two cheeseburgers and two frosties.” “Ok, that’ll be $x.xx” So, tne minutes later, I get home, open my wonderful Wendy’s burger and realize there isn’t any cheese. I _ordered_ a cheeseburger, I _paid_ for a cheeseburger, why the fuck didn’t I _get_ a cheeseburger?! I absolutely hate plain hamburgers. Hate hate hate. But I usually eat it anyway, cuz I aint driving all the way back to Wendy’s over a slice of cheese, and if I’m hungry enough to go through a drive-thru, then that means I’m too hungry to wait any longer. ---
**Author:** ![goofball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e56c9b/32.png) [@goofball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goofball)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037/167 "2003-05-24T04:57:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ISNorden \* > \*\*Unless you are fortunate enough to be in a city with an American chain restaurant like Pizza Hut, beware of ordering “pepperoni” on a pizza in Sweden. Swedes use the word to mean whole, extremely hot peppers…as I found out the hard way when asking a friend to bring back a take-out pizza. (Rough translation of my reaction: “Johan, what the [bleep] is THIS doing here?!?”) \*\* Pepperoni is the italian word for pepper. Does that have anything to do with it? (I’ve been to Italy and as far as I know it is impossible to actually get a pepperoni pizza there.) ---
**Author:** ![ISNorden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/47e85d/32.png) [@ISNorden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISNorden)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037/168 "2003-05-24T05:31:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by goofball \* > \*\*Pepperoni is the italian word for pepper. Does that have anything to do with it? (I’ve been to Italy and as far as I know it is impossible to actually get a pepperoni pizza there.) \*\* Yes; as if the language didn’t cause enough confusion, American pizzerias generally refer to those same hot “topping peppers” as _pepperoncini._ Three more warnings for pizza-loving tourists in Sweden, BTW: (1) Most pizzas don’t come pre-sliced, unless you order from an American chain restaurant. Swedes’ idea of the “right” way to eat pizza is cutting tiny pieces off the whole pie with a knife and fork. (Wonder if they picked that habit up from Italy too?) (2) Most pizzerias don’t allow you to choose individual toppings; there are usually half a dozen pre-set combinations on the menu. The few exceptions advertise themselves as selling _amerikansk pizza_ (see warning #3). (Yes, there are Swedish-owned and independent places which make that claim!) (3) Unless the restaurant sells _amerikansk pizza_, prepare for a crust so thin that eating with silverware is necessary…and so flimsy that toppings will slide off anyway. Some of you may wonder why a tourist in Sweden would order pizza in the first place. The truth is that Swedes don’t go to restaurants as much as Americans; because eating out is more expensive, they do it only on special occasions. This means that foreign food tends to dominate menus (“if you want home cooking, eat at home”). Thankfully, I do know enough people there to enjoy real Swedish cooking once in a while; but when I’m on vacation in the big cities, pizza is usually the cheapest food available. ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037/169 "2003-05-24T07:22:34Z")
I can understand the disgruntled workers not giving a shit about people’s orders. But whether the place is a gourmet restaurant or McDonald’s, it is a _business_, and a business provides a service for customers and they’re obligated to correctly provide that service. So if a customer is dissatisfied with that promised service, that customer has the perfect right to say “hey, this is not what I asked for, please fix it.” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037/170 "2003-07-10T21:30:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LCP2972 \* > \*\*Thank you, yes Dan’s is about the best in town, vying only with the offshoot, Fran’s. > I firmly believe that the gateway to heaven lies somewhere on South 1st near Dan’s, but it could be the one on South Congress, instead. > Ever notice how the furthest north either Fran’s or Dan’s goes is Keonig? \*\* You mean the one on North Lamar? I think the cross street’s Koenig over there. Mmmm…I think I may get a Dan’s burger after karate class tonight…medium burger (maybe a doubleburger if I’m feeling really hungry), drywithjustlettuceandonion, curlyfries, drink. A little pricier than McDonalds, but not enough to make me care. 😃 Silly **LCP** : Austin IS Heaven. Dan’s just reminds us where we are. It’s the greasy manna-joint. ---
**Author:** ![7\_up\_yours](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/919ad9/32.png) [@7\_up\_yours](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7_up_yours)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037/171 "2003-07-11T22:15:21Z")
I just have to say, all these stories are very amusing. But I’d would also like to point out that if you’re a picky eater, you most likely should not be eating at a fast food place. You do get what you pay for. It doesn’t annoy me as much if the people making the food get my order wrong. If I ask for no mayo, and they give me mayo, I just give it a shrug and gobble the thing down. However, if I ask for a burger with bacon and they give me a burger without bacon, I raise some hell. I paid an extra 49 cents for that bacon and I better damn well get it. What annoys me the most, is the stupid people taking the orders. Example: A while ago, McDonalds was doing a promotion where I could get a double cheese burger with lettuce and tomatoes with small fries for $2. So, I check out the menu, check out my wallet, discover that I’m totally broke and should probably opt for this great deal, step up to the counter and… High School Drop Out: Hello, what would you like today? (fine so far) Me: I’d like to have that double cheeseburger special. HSDO: Excuse me? Me (thinking maybe she couldn’t hear me): Your double cheeseburger special. HSDO: Excuse me? Me: The cheeseburger special you’re advertising. HSDO: I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Me: THE DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER SPECIAL WITH THE SMALL FRIES. HSDO (puzzled look on her face): Double… cheeseburger? Me (very impatiently now): Yes. The one you’re advertising for two dollars. HSDO: I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand what you want to order Me (about the grab head and rip it off): THERE! _pointing to the outrageously large picture of the special being advertised_ I want that. HSDO: Oh. You want the double cheeseburger with lettuce and tomatoes and small fries special. Apparently, she couldn’t comprehend my order without the “lettuce and tomatoes” at the end. Then again, I do expect high school dropouts to have a one tracked mind. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037/172 "2003-07-13T03:57:29Z")
> [@](#): > > _Diogenes The Cynic_ > \*\*Just FYI, people who bring back food in fast food restauraunts sometimes get something “extra” when they get their order back. Not all the time, but sometimes. Just something to thing about… \*\* That’s so retarded. I’ve worked at McDonald’s for over 2 years now, and that’s what everyone assumes happens in the kitchen. The only time I’ve ever even heard anything like that mentioned was a retarded friend of a manager said something like “It’s a cop. Spit on his burger”. I simply told him that I wouldn’t serve it; it would go into the trash and I’d make it myself. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037/173 "2003-07-13T04:12:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kiger \* > \*\*Has anyone ever gotten one of those bagel breakfast sandwiches at McDonalds that had sauce on it? We ordered one the other day and it had some really foul looking yellowish sauce on it. We’d gotten them before and they never had this stuff on them so we asked what it was. > > _Sauce._ > What kind? > _Egg and cheese sauce_ > (\*GAG What the hell is egg and cheese sauce?) > Well, can you tell me what’s in it? > _Ummmmmm…_ > > Then he went and got the squeeze bottle and pointed to it. While I appreciated the effort, I still wasn’t eating it. Shouldn’t Mcdonalds at least tell their employees what’s in the “special sauce”? \*\* No cheese in it; it’s hollandaise sauce, and there’s no such thing as special sauce to mcemployees. The container says “big mac sauce” ---
**Author:** ![CadburyAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c2a13f/32.png) [@CadburyAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CadburyAngel)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037/174 "2003-07-13T07:17:42Z")
Word, **chaoticdonkey**. (And nice name.) I just hit my two-year anniversary working for The Clown as well and I have NEVER even heard people joke about spitting in food or making it otherwise inedible. The worst I’ve seen is people using food that’s a smidge elderly rather than waiting for the fresh stuff to come up. Not the tastiest, but I’d still eat it. Our assistant manager did have someone call in once and claim that his Egg McMuffin had been spat in that morning. Luckily, we’re a small store and our assistant manager had made every single breakfast sandwich that went out that morning. (And would never do such a thing.) I wonder what that caller was trying to accomplish. Maybe he thinks people moisten their mouths with butter? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-empty-the-entire-two-litre-bottle-of-mayonaise-onto-my-burger-thankyou/174037.md?page=8)