# please explain Mitch Hedburg line **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 13, 2015, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314 "2015-12-13T07:53:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![curwin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@curwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curwin)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/1 "2015-12-13T07:53:02Z")
I’m sure I’ll feel dumb after this is explained, but I never understood this line from Mitch Hedberg: “If you want to talk to me after the show, I’ll be…\*\*\*\*ing…surprised.” I’ve only heard the audio, maybe there’s some visual effect that is missing? ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/2 "2015-12-13T08:13:15Z")
Well, it looks like he’s about to say:\* “If you want to talk to me after the show, I’ll be backstage.” \*As in inviting the fans to come and talk to him after the show, but instead he finishes with \*“surprised” \*as in wondering why anybody would want to talk to him at all, specially after listening to some of his most outrageous jokes. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/3 "2015-12-13T10:20:51Z")
> [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > Well, it looks like he’s about to say:\* “If you want to talk to me after the show, I’ll be backstage.” \*As in inviting the fans to come and talk to him after the show, but instead he finishes with \*“surprised” \*as in wondering why anybody would want to talk to him at all, specially after listening to some of his most outrageous jokes. Also, there’s two sets of ellipses. So first it looks like he’s going to say “I’ll be backstage,” but then it looks like he’s saying “I’ll be having sex,” and then it’s what you said. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/4 "2015-12-13T10:26:38Z")
“I love escalators man cause they never break down they just become stairs.” ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/5 "2015-12-13T10:31:35Z")
> [@pool](#): > > “I love escalators man cause they never break down they just become stairs.” They should have a sign that says, “Sorry for the convenience.” ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/6 "2015-12-13T11:07:49Z")
I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to too. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/7 "2015-12-13T13:20:46Z")
> [@curwin](#): > > I’m sure I’ll feel dumb after this is explained, but I never understood this line from Mitch Hedberg: > > “If you want to talk to me after the show, I’ll be…\*\*\*\*ing…surprised.” > > I’ve only heard the audio, maybe there’s some visual effect that is missing? You must not have heard the whole bit. I have the album of that show, and right after that line he jokes about needing to make sure the liner notes of the CD say “at the end of this joke, the comedian points towards the back.” Then the next bit is about how he’s going to do a bunch of material which requires being able to see him in order to be funny, so the CD will piss people off. ---
**Author:** ![curwin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@curwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curwin)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/8 "2015-12-13T13:23:05Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > You must not have heard the whole bit. I have the album of that show, and right after that line he jokes about needing to make sure the liner notes of the CD say “at the end of this joke, the comedian points towards the back.” Then the next bit is about how he’s going to do a bunch of material which requires being able to see him in order to be funny, so the CD will piss people off. I did hear that part (just couldn’t remember it in my original post). That added to my confusion - what did pointing to the back add to the joke? If the earlier explanation is right - that the joke was that why would anyone want to talk to him - I feel comfortable in my not understanding. I can’t imagine anyone _not_ wanting to talk to him after the show. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/9 "2015-12-13T21:00:26Z")
He’s dead, Jim. ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/10 "2015-12-13T21:07:18Z")
Enjoyment of comedy is rarely served by literalism. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/11 "2015-12-13T21:31:23Z")
There’s this thing called “self-deprecating humor”… ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2015, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/12 "2015-12-13T23:31:30Z")
I like Blackjack, play it all the time. I’m not addicted to gambling. I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2015, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/13 "2015-12-14T00:23:05Z")
> [@curwin](#): > > I’m sure I’ll feel dumb after this is explained, but I never understood this line from Mitch Hedberg: > > “If you want to talk to me after the show, I’ll be…\*\*\*\*ing…surprised.” > > I’ve only heard the audio, maybe there’s some visual effect that is missing? “Fucking”? “Bleeding”? What’s with the censored bit? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2015, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/14 "2015-12-14T00:24:51Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > “Fucking”? “Bleeding”? What’s with the censored bit? OP has only heard the bit on censored TV? ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2015, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/15 "2015-12-14T00:36:26Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > OP has only heard the bit on censored TV? He said he’s only heard the audio, but that’s probably right. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2015, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/16 "2015-12-14T01:56:37Z")
Sounds like the old mis-direction one-liner. Similar to the late Henny Youngman’s “Take my wife, please” ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2015, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-mitch-hedburg-line/740314/17 "2015-12-14T02:15:19Z")
“Hey, check this joke out…If you want to talk to me after the show, I’ll be fucking surprised…” I found this with a Google search. I didn’t find a video though.