# Please explain this anonymous note? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 14, 2011, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344 "2011-02-14T19:32:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/21 "2011-02-15T00:35:11Z")
This is clearly a threat. Call the police. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/22 "2011-02-15T00:37:53Z")
I lost my checkbook once. It was mailed back to me, no return address, all checks intact, with a note inside that said: “I smell pickles.” ? At another time, I lost my billfold. It turned up in my mailbox a couple of days later. Again, all cards and everything intact, with a note inside that said, “Too bad you aren’t better looking or I would’ve returned it myself.” Geez! Everybody knows your driver’s license picture sucks. Gimme a break. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/23 "2011-02-15T00:48:19Z")
I would just like to say that that note in no way has anything to do with a pending Martian invasion August 31. Nothing at all and I don’t know why you would even think that. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Jay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b77776/32.png) [@The\_Jay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Jay)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/24 "2011-02-15T07:20:11Z")
Hide your kids, hide your wife. ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/25 "2011-02-15T10:21:24Z")
date explains it, valentine card lucky you! ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/26 "2011-02-15T14:09:25Z")
Maybe it’s not Gumby, but [a Gumby](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gumbys)? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/27 "2011-02-15T14:21:38Z")
Stretching your Gumby out to “two feet and seven inches” sounds like it’d cause permanent damage. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/28 "2011-02-15T16:58:49Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > Stretching your Gumby out to “two feet and seven inches” sounds like it’d cause permanent damage. Well, one of the tenants next door is a yoga instructor. Several times she has mentioned this to me. Maybe I should call her out on this. It might not be a crime to torture a Gumby, but there’s something immoral about it, if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/29 "2011-02-15T17:15:54Z")
I happen to have a Gumby on my desk, and I can assert that while it bends, it does not stretch at all. So you have LSD imbibing liars in your neighborhood. . . ---
**Author:** ![drpepper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@drpepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drpepper)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/30 "2011-02-16T00:57:00Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Obviously they’re trying to wound your heart with a monotonous languor. Good Lord-- Is this a reference to that French poem? If so, I salute you, sir, and remain awestruck at the esoteric knowledge of the collective Dope. (If not, well, I’ll just slink off now) eta: D’oh! Beaten to the punch! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/31 "2011-02-16T21:31:16Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > I’m guessing some bored HS seniors were having a good time. > > Beats having them spray paint a bad word on your garage. Or taking a baseball bat to your mailbox, which is a common sport for bored teens around these parts. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/32 "2011-02-16T22:00:21Z")
I think it’s just one of those great unexplained things. I’d probably frame it and hang it in my office. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/33 "2011-02-16T22:58:59Z")
Okay. During lunch I went home and was able to confront the yoga teacher about this matter. She seemed truly surprised that I connected her to the note. Of course, she denied any knowledge of it. I indicated that I believed her, but left her with an observation: “You know [Ms. Yoga Teacher], this is ‘Culture Note #2’…I’d be very interested to see the one I missed–‘Culture Note #1.’ Wouldn’t you?” With that I left her to ponder my next move. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2011, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/34 "2011-02-16T23:20:14Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > It is a reference to the English translation of a line of French poetry (Baudelaire?) that signalled to the French underground that D-Day was happening - according to the movie “The Longest Day” Not Baudelaire! Verlaine. [http://verlaineexplique.free.fr/poemesat/chanson.html](http://verlaineexplique.free.fr/poemesat/chanson.html) Les sanglots longs Des violons De l’automne Blessent mon cœur D’une langueur Monotone. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2011, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/35 "2011-02-17T00:35:17Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > I think it’s just one of those great unexplained things. I’d probably frame it and hang it in my office. I was going to ask if you were in college. This sounds like the work of an introverted grad student who has trouble with the opposite sex (or their preferred gender, whatever). ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2011, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/36 "2011-02-17T03:12:01Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > Well, one of the tenants next door is a yoga instructor. Several times she has mentioned this to me. Maybe I should call her out on this. It might not be a crime to torture a Gumby, but there’s something immoral about it, if you ask me. Wait. You’re helping her learn her craft. How can you be so selfish? Wearing an athletic supporter under your Hanes for the rest of your days & waiting for Viagra to inflate you like a cheap garden hose…is that really too big a price to pay? > [@guizot](#): > > Okay. During lunch I went home and was able to confront the yoga teacher about this matter. She seemed truly surprised that I connected her to the note. Of course, she denied any knowledge of it. > > I indicated that I believed her, but left her with an observation: “You know [Ms. Yoga Teacher], this is ‘Culture Note #2’…I’d be very interested to see the one I missed–‘Culture Note #1.’ Wouldn’t you?” > > With that I left her to ponder my next move. Dear Og, for the sake of Rt 1 traffic, don’t let her leave him Cliff Notes… ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344/37 "2011-02-18T17:19:06Z")
It’s your voter registration renewal reminder from the One World Government. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-this-anonymous-note/571344.md?page=1)