# Please explain your embarrassment to me **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 20, 2010, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-your-embarrassment-to-me/564817 "2010-12-20T07:46:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-your-embarrassment-to-me/564817/41 "2010-12-22T21:22:28Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > I am (maybe unlike **Stoid** I’m not sure) an extremely outgoing and social person. I just want to make that point, that just because I am very hard to embarass, does not mean I am not a person with normal-to-high social needs. I don’t think the two are directly connected. Embarrassment is about your relationship with you, and to the extent that it involves others, its based on projection or selectively valuing the opinions of assholes over those of non-assholes. I am also an EXTREMELY outgoing person. I can and do strike up conversations with anyone and everyone, no sweat. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-your-embarrassment-to-me/564817/42 "2010-12-22T21:24:15Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I tend to agree with you. Also, some forms of shyness and social anxiety are actually extremely elevated self-importance. Basically an “everyone is looking at me because I’m just that important” idea rather than reality which is “most people are doing their own thing and don’t care and won’t notice if you’re imperfect.” Dr. Phil has a great way of putting it, something like you would worry a lot less about what people think of you if you realized how little they think about you at all. ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-your-embarrassment-to-me/564817/43 "2010-12-23T16:34:01Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > If you are like most people, you have a noticeable degree of concern about being sufficiently normal to avoid the stares, comments, judgment or other disapproval that might be heaped upon you by people you do not know if you did something, said something, or looked some way that a fair number of people would be likely to disapprove of. > > My question is simple, yet I’m guessing you’ve probably never thought about it: why? > > I’m sincere. > > Second, related question: are you also sensitive to the potential for embarrassment by the appearance, speech or behavior of people you are with? If so, why? > > I appreciate your answers. good question. my guess is the green monkey syndrome. The observation (also seen on school playgrounds everywhere) where anyone who looks/acts different from the group is ostracised and attacked. If one looks weak, or confused then one looks different or worse. No one wants to run that risk. Hence the strong feeling of embarrassment. It helps people stay in line with the group. {BTW-“geen monkey syndrome” means to me: a probably mthyical experiement where researchers took the alpha male head monkey of a group away, dyed the fur green and put him back with the group. The group promptly turned on their erstwhile leader and destroyed him. } ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-your-embarrassment-to-me/564817/44 "2010-12-23T20:49:33Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > Upon reflection, I get embarrassed for fictional TV characters as well, to the point where I have to leave the room. Maybe it’s a cultural thing. Me too. One that gets me almost every time is Michael (the boss) on The Office. When he he is obviously about to do or say something completely socially inappropriate, I cringe internally, and sometimes can’t watch the show, even though I fin all the other characters funny and non-cringe-inducing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-explain-your-embarrassment-to-me/564817.md?page=2)